Author Topic: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)  (Read 3326 times)

Jeks

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Day went not so well, but as long as i am not using porn, its a good day.
Made a loose schedule on how i wanna go about the next days. I hope that this will help to be more focused and to efficiently split up my energy.
Hope you guys are doing well!

Jeks

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Scheduling my day made a huge impact. Was very productive, did not rush anything, because i had always in mind how much time i had left. Im very satisfied with my progress today.
Im near to zero urges again. Feels very freeing.

faenoe

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Glad to hear that making a schedule made a difference. I used to do that and I had similar results but I find myself doing it very rarely still. What have you found that works well?

Also great to hear that your urges are beginning to weaken. I hope the same will happen for me but right now I'm still very early on in my streak since my last relapse. Keep it up bro.

Jeks

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Hey fanoe,

i took my priority list and structured my day into 60 or 90 minutes blocks with 15 or 30 minutes breaks in between. I've got a structure from 9 am to about 5 pm.
I realized that i have got so many things going, that i cant fit them into one day, so that i differentiate into two different work days, on which i focus partially on different stuff.

For me it took about three months, before i could tell a definite difference in my urges. Trying to not masturbate also helped. Just be patient and hold on to your reasons. Your cravings and urges will definitely stop or become way less.



Had a pretty strong nocturnal erection. I feel like the last time i had my streak of good erections, i also experienced a lack of urges and cravings. Makes me Hopeful.

I now get going. Good day y'all. Be safe.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2020, 05:46:35 AM by Jeks »

Jeks

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Yesterday went pretty good.
In the night and in the morning i had some pretty good erections. Urges still about zero. Still hopeful.
Will continue to study and follow my schedule.

Take care guys

zander13

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Good shit man. God bless and good luck with the remainder of your journey.

Jeks

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Thanks man.

Was able to take care of all the things i had planned. I just dont know, if i am just to easy on myself with the amount of things i want to do on a daily basis. But i think i will just try to maintain this schedule for now and then maybe increase the amount, when i feel like i am selling myself too short.

Hope you are all well. Keep fighting guys.

Jeks

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Woke up at night, couldnt sleep.
While waiting to fall asleep again, i remembered a moment in my childhood, when i watched porn and i realized, that i began using porn earlier than i initially thought, maybe around 11 or 12. No wonder my brain needs as long as it fucking does...
After my realization i felt depressed and hopeless and came up with things i am thankful for. The idea came kind of intuitively, but i also saw anonfromfinance doing it for a while.

I am thankful for the days around new year's eve, when for a while my erections came back to a 100 %. Without that i am not sure, if i would have been able to keep somewhat hopeful and it helped to lower my depression massively.

I am somewhat thankful for noticing, that i was so young, when i started using porn. I guess it gets my expectations in the right place.

I am thankful for my very close friends A, S, and N. Would have been dead right now without them i am sure.

Thankful for feeling healthy enough to study again and to work on a good future for myself. I had glimpses in the past, which showed that i have got a lot of potential. I will work on getting there again.

Wow, nice way to finish the entry and going for the day   :D

Keep save guys
« Last Edit: March 24, 2020, 07:29:07 AM by Jeks »

Jeks

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Just had a wet dream about relapsing. I am just so sick and tired of this...

Because of my symptoms ive got a good chance of having PIED. I just hope. The alternative would be fucking ugly.

Anyway, i may have to prepare for the worst case, that i have got PIED + very bad VL or something. Otherwise i will wait for something, that may never happen. And this waiting just keeps the rest of my life in kind of a hold.
At the same time i really might have to suppress this possibility. I dont know if i would be able to handle it.
I dont know really... This whole thinking really makes me depressed.
Anyhow i have to find a solution for this for myself.

Edit: Okay, my depressions got me for a second there. In december i have got really good erections and that was no illusion. I know, that i am able to get good erections. It will just take more time. In june or so i will do a check up, just to be sure.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2020, 08:39:12 PM by Jeks »

Zel99

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I had the same exact thing happen two nights ago. Don't worry about it. As long as you don't go back to porn, you'll be making progress.

Jeks

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Thanks zel.

Day was productive and i managed to do all the things i had planned. But somehow my mood is a little melancholy. I will stay on track, because its my last chance to become truely happy in life, but man, life is really hard sometimes. Keeping confident is not easy.

Jeks

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Good morning guys.

I think i might have found a way how to think about all of this without getting depressed to much and being hopeful and coonfident, that i will heal.
Its very likely, that i have got PIED, but there is of course a slight chance that i might have an physological issue additionally. However with me achieving to stop porn and and to reboot, i have came so much closer to my ultimate goal, which is to gain a healthy sexuality with a partner.
And to reboot is my only chance to get this. The good news about this is, i can be pretty sure that i will evntually heal, because even if i have an physiological issue, i will be sure of it after rebooting for a long while and this also brings me a step closer to my ultimate goal.
To realize that is important to me, because i have a tendency to get depressed and it tends to slow me down in my daily life, when i worry about, if i will be even able to heal and i think i can now be pretty sure of it, even if it takes a long while.
The best i can do is to continue working on my life, so when my erectile dysfunction is gone, i will be able to enjoy my life to the fullest and this is exactly what i will do now.

Thanks for reading. Keep safe guys. This forum gives me so much to stay on track emotionally. Thank you all for that, its a great community.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2020, 07:10:16 AM by Jeks »

Jeks

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Day was good, however mood is still a little cloudy sometimes.
Negative emotions concerning my ex gf still coming up from time to time. Not easy to handle. Will have to find solutions for this.

Jeks

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Today was a good day in the sense, that i was able to turn the day somewhat around, even though the first half was not very productive.
Feeling better, life is still a fight, but there are also moments of satisfaction and peace.
Im getting into running, thoughts become more healthy while doing it. I think quitting to smoke cigarettes has also something to do with it.

Jeks

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Damn... Im in kind of a hole right now... Depresion and hoplessness are pushing me down. I think my biggest reason for depressions is, that i am not certain, if i will heal. Whenever i did the test, i could not have erections in both occasions and i was once diagnosed with VL. There was this time in december, when i started getting erections and in the end there can not be another explanation than pied. It has to click in me. I will heal.

Jeks

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Whatever... the thing is, worrying and moaning about my erectile dysfunction and my ex and about how hard life is doesnt change anything.
It cant go on like this and i have got to change things up. It doesnt get me forward.
I will get out of this mess and when im done with all of this, when i got my erections back, when i got a enjoyable job, when i got financial security, when i enjoy life again, i will look back and thank myself that i didnt gave in. I will look at my life and wont believe how beautiful and fullfilling life can be.

Jeks

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Damn... I think ive overcome the worst. I have to remind myself that, yes it sucks,  but it doesnt help me in any way to freak out. I am on a good way, rebooting and studying wise, which are the two big roadblocks in my life right now. When ive come over these two things, life will look very different. When things dont go well, it shows me that i still have got to change things, which happened today. I have to practice not worrying as much and seeing my progress.


Jeks

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Had a dream about masturbating, woke up, thought i had a wet dream, but didnt ejaculate. Instead really good erection. Hooray! Man i really stressed myself out the last days. Im always worrying about my VL coming back. I will have to learn to deal better with the lack of erections. But i think the fact, that my erection came back 3 monts after my first full erections will also help immensely with that.

Wish you all a good day.

Jeks

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Again some pretty good erections at night and in the morning. Feeling great. Feel like i can meet every task and challenge head on. Feeling very alive. Dont feel like ive got to force myself that much to take action, i can easily convince myself.
What surprised me a lot is that i dont have to pee that often and i can hold it much easier. Did maybe pee once at night, usually i had to pee like 3 or 4 times (which by the way is often the way i notice nocturnal erections).

Hope you guys are fine. Wish you all a lot of strenght. Keep holding on to your reasons, why you are doing this. Dont touch, dont fantasize.