Author Topic: A Bright New Future  (Read 57 times)

Toughhud

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A Bright New Future
« on: September 12, 2019, 05:01:07 PM »
Hello All,

     First and foremost I want to say that I am so happy to be here. I have been battling porn on and off for the past 15-20 years. I first was exposed on the school bus by some nude playing cards then a VHS video at a friends house when I was 14. After the cell phone came out is when it became worse. As time went on I got married and then 5 years later I had a child. My porn use got to the point where I began texting and emailing other girls and swapping pictures. I almost lost my wife when I cam clean with it all.

     I stopped for about 6 months but slowly went back. Recently my entire family found out my dad who I have looked up to my whole life has had a porn addiction and began going to massage parlors for sex.

     Right now as I type I'm on day 9 and my anxiety is wicked back. Today my back was so tight I decided to go get a legit massage thinking hey this will help. Well it turned out to be an asian girl and I got nude because she said I needed to. The massage was legit and involved nothing else. It did kinda trigger some thoughts. Probably not the best time to go have one. At one point her finger grazed my penis and I thought great I'm my dad. It was an accident and I shrugged it off, but I don't think it would be wise to go back again.

     Bottom line porn is a door to many many life shattering things. I have a benchmark of 90 days. My brain hurts right now and my anxiety is high but im fighting hard this time and I have my wife on my side. This time feels different.

     Don't give up y'all fight for your life!!!

Pdub

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Re: A Bright New Future
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2019, 10:20:24 AM »
@Thoughhud there are numerous battles in this war, aren't there? :)

Rebooting is a long journey but well worth it.  Having support from your wife will help tremendously.  Since coming clean I've had more sex with my wife than I would have expected.  Previously it was once a month, but in the past two months we've had sex more than a dozen times.  It can only get better.  Keep it up man!