Author Topic: New here  (Read 531 times)

Iloveicecream

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New here
« on: August 26, 2019, 03:24:34 AM »
Hi there,

I am not a heavy user, however I realised that the occassional use is also of no Benefit. because each time I have a look at this Internet stuff, I feel bad the next day. Shame is powerful. My Goal is to not watch any of the Contents anymore on the Internet. The reasons I watched the stuff was Always because I encountered some professional Problem or when I feel lonely. my Goal is to replace it. I am not sure if I can really do hard mode but if I reduce it every month by let us say 10% this would be great too.

anyways I hope we will support each other here....because pmo is a waste of our energy

Free-man

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Re: New here
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2019, 03:54:06 AM »
Welcome!
Read everything you can here. It will help you.
We're many many people affected by this shit. PMO is a waste of time and energy of course. It fog our minds and lead us to ruined our lives.
My advice is start from hard mode, you will fail if you try what you're saying.
Erase all porn of your computer and mobile phone and try K9, Cold turkey blockers of content
We know that porn is a way to escape to our problems but it just bring us more and more problems at the end. We have to replace that bad habit for a good one. Replace the time we waste watching that kind of content and fill with good habits.

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2019, 04:04:39 AM »
you are Right....hard mode is best.....unfortunately I failed many times in the past.....but at least I am honest to myself now....I am here to Change...thank you for your encouraging words

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2019, 08:42:56 AM »
actually my biggest weakness is loneliness. When I am alone, chances of pmoing are way higher....It seems I am not good at loneliness.....does anyone else have similar experience and what do you do if you feel lonely?

Free-man

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Re: New here
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2019, 10:19:23 AM »
Yep, loneliness is caused by isolation by porn.
i think when we spend too much time in front of the computer or mobile phone watching porn we prefered spend our time with the high dopamine instead spend our time with our friends or doing other hobbies. Then isolation enters in our lives. that bring us depression, low self-steem and anxiety which we try to calm or making dissapear with porn and more time wasted. It's a horrible circle.

Loneliness is one of my problem too
We have to try to change habits and find hobbies.
Try don't stay alone and go for a walk, practice exercise, go to shop, to an exhibition, concert, cinema…swim, sign in a kind of group activities where you can make friends or maybe a girlfriend, fill your new time.


Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2019, 10:34:06 AM »
Trying a new gf, my wife would not be too happy hahahaah......but you are Right....I should go for more Hobbies and put more emphasis on my social life....thank you for pointing that out.....because I find when I am with other People, I think less About Problems....and also spend more time with my wife who is an amazing woman.


Jay2019

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Re: New here
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2019, 03:59:00 PM »
Welcome to the forum.  Hope you get what you need from it.  My life is transforming, and I couldn't have started that process without the support in here. 

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2019, 12:15:20 AM »
Thank you very much for the nice words, I have a confession to make - I still myself for two years. I hardly actually watched real porn for two years. Instead I switched to the lighter mode, such as Bikini models...but it is like the alcoholic switching to light beer. So I know it is possible to get away from porn. but at the end of the day, I have to be reliant on artificial Stimulation....I do not know why it is so difficult to get rid of this....I can take Cold showers, I do not drink anymore but getting rid of this demon is really difficult.....anyways it is day 3 today! hope everyone is strong here.

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2019, 01:15:45 AM »
day 5 - no issues.....just wondering how i will deal with the Situation I am on my own.....if I am with Family, I very rarely do it or think About.....hope everyone stays strong...

Free-man

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Re: New here
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2019, 02:33:32 AM »
Almost 1 week, congratulations!

And congratulations for 2 years away from p. It's a great and I think you have an easier way to reboot so now you have to quit about p substitutes. You start to quit p substitutes from this week so it's very important because this would led to harder stuff in anytime.

Keep strong!

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2019, 02:41:01 AM »
Free-Man, thank you very much.....fortunately I have expired that porn totally messes with my brain....I feel panick afterwards so I am not interested in it anymore....however the porn Substitutes I find it very hard to get rid of.....I was cheating myself for two years because I Always said to myself: hey I got rid of porn.....but the whole Point of my reboot is to live my life in real and not have to rely on any artificial ways.....the artificial way is of Course the easiest....just one click.....whereas with women it is not as easy...but welcome to real life....Always Need to remind myself that Nothing is easy but Need to fight for it......so hope everyone of you will be strong and resist the temptation.....and Free-Man thanks again for your encouragement...

Free-man

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Re: New here
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2019, 03:20:11 AM »
I fell in p substitutes the last time when I was in my 55 days streak so take care. Try with cold turkey blocker, Once you left to watch that kind of stuff or watch it accidentally you will be in the right way but take care because p and p substitutes are everywhere, in adverts, catalogs, tv series, movies, magazine covers…

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2019, 05:31:26 AM »
Thank you Freeman. Giving up porn was difficult....but I made it.....so now I want to make the last Transition from Substitute to real life....

Iloveicecream

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Day 6
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2019, 01:06:49 AM »
just some random thoughts on day 6

I learned one Thing. not plan my whole life. Just for today, I wanna have a good day. think About lots of interesting issues.

Also: I do not want to lock myself away.

I also do Cold showers every day. this helps clear my mind.

I hope all of you will be strong.

Iloveicecream

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Day 7
« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2019, 01:48:35 AM »
yesterday I thought of Masturbation but then I just left it.....this journalling is a good daily reminder.....I am not Setting too high my Goals just try to work it from day to day....having cut out alcohol completely out of my life also helps.....even though my moods are going up and down but it is better then having my moods calmed down....hope all of you will be very strong...

bob

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Re: New here
« Reply #15 on: August 30, 2019, 08:37:49 AM »
Day to day. That is the answer. Don't worry about yesterday because it is already past. Don't worry about the future because the future is built on today. Just concentrate on what is important at the moment.

Sounds like you are doing well.



Iloveicecream

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day 8
« Reply #16 on: August 31, 2019, 10:47:14 AM »
thanks bob for your nice words. Nothing exciting to be reported. no cravings. did not think About it......I did some Cold showering instead:):)

Iloveicecream

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day 9
« Reply #17 on: September 01, 2019, 03:14:51 AM »
this journaling is like a contract. It seems like there is some Moral Obligation when doing the Journal entries here...Yesterday evening I just watched some Action movies myself.....I had no thoughts About pmo. I am only thinking About today at the Moment and not tomorrow.....my Major triggers are loneliness and issues at work......anyways 9 days is better than Nothing:)....hope all of you will be very strong....I want to leave this Forum as a winner...

BigMog

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Re: day 9
« Reply #18 on: September 01, 2019, 05:00:39 AM »
this journaling is like a contract.
Yes I agree, I’ve found that in the periods when I’m journaling regularly it’s easier to keep on the straight and narrow. Posting here helps remind me at least for the next few hours that I’m in this struggle and need to be vigilant.
Keep going iloveicecream, you’re doing well!

Iloveicecream

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Day 1
« Reply #19 on: September 02, 2019, 01:24:22 AM »
Yesterday I felt stressed and had a headache. So I decided to have some beers and then it happened again. so It seems when stress is under way, I am more likely to use pmo to deal with stress. What I can do better next time.
a) have one drink less
b) talk more to Family
c) immediately think About my wife and do it with her
d) read a book
e) watch some fun stuff on the Internet....

I am optimistic...so I do not feel any shame...I just want to do it better next time....hope everyone will be strong here...

Lero

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Re: New here
« Reply #20 on: September 02, 2019, 05:32:01 AM »
I can't drink either without relapsing.

Free-man

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Re: New here
« Reply #21 on: September 02, 2019, 10:20:19 AM »
Dont drink Lero, remember that drink is one of your triggers, could be the main trigger.
Replace drink with fruit or something healthier

Lero

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Re: New here
« Reply #22 on: September 02, 2019, 11:07:34 AM »
Dont drink Lero, remember that drink is one of your triggers, could be the main trigger.
Replace drink with fruit or something healthier

That's what I should do.

BigMog

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Re: New here
« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2019, 02:51:35 AM »
Iloveicecream, looks like a good list of what to do better next time.
Keep strong, I’ve  always found the days after a slip particularly difficult, because of the “chaser” effect. Seems like the primitive part of the brain thinks “I’ve had some, now I need to get some more while it’s available.”
It is possible to get through it and if you can you will have converted a slip into a victory.
You’re on the right track!

Iloveicecream

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Re: New here
« Reply #24 on: September 03, 2019, 06:31:35 AM »
Big Mog, thank you for your encouraging words.

Yesterday I just fell asleep together with my Partner...it was good....I had no thoughts About pmo....It is actually strange: when I was 20, pmo thoughts crossed my mind many times per hour...nowadays I really think About it.......it seems like some residuals that I want to get rid of...