Just wanted to chime in. You're like me in many ways. We're the exact same age, and have the same neuroticism and mood swings. Dunno how much of it can be attributed to porn. Some of it, at least, as your levels of dopamine and serotinin in the brain gets seriously depleted. I'm not going to turn this into a discussion of game with women, but ... women can be cruel. You lament this situation of this 36 year old making fun of your wish to start a family. Thing is with women is that you should never really tell them about your plans and hopes, just demonstrate. Women follow implication and demonstration of strength, but they are inclined to disbelieve you if you tell them what you want. They see it as a sign of disingenuity and even weakness.
Hmmm, what do you mean by 'implication and demonstration of strength' in my case Unbreakable? You mean 'do' rather than just 'talk'? In this case, how do you reckon i could have done that?With this girl, i knew her as one person and then another after our second date. During our second date, she basically came out and told me that everything she had told me before was BS and revealed her true self; very selfish, shallow and cruel. I was completely taken aback - shocked in fact - as that wasn't the person she appeared to be on our first date. In retrospect, maybe i was looking at this with rose-tinted glasses - a poor divorcee who had been hurt by her scumbag husband. But turns out, she had been abused - not sure what form of abuse as she didn't want to say anything - by her brother and father and now has zero relationship with them (she had told me on our first date that she really only spoke to her Dad whom she loved). After her divorce, she dated three guys each of whom were abusive (you can see the trend now).
QuoteHmmm, what do you mean by 'implication and demonstration of strength' in my case Unbreakable? You mean 'do' rather than just 'talk'? In this case, how do you reckon i could have done that?With this girl, i knew her as one person and then another after our second date. During our second date, she basically came out and told me that everything she had told me before was BS and revealed her true self; very selfish, shallow and cruel. I was completely taken aback - shocked in fact - as that wasn't the person she appeared to be on our first date. In retrospect, maybe i was looking at this with rose-tinted glasses - a poor divorcee who had been hurt by her scumbag husband. But turns out, she had been abused - not sure what form of abuse as she didn't want to say anything - by her brother and father and now has zero relationship with them (she had told me on our first date that she really only spoke to her Dad whom she loved). After her divorce, she dated three guys each of whom were abusive (you can see the trend now).That's the problem. With porn addiction, you start from a very weak point, so it's hard to just "do." My strategy is to be open to my love interests about the situation, but that means the woman has to have a heart. In your case, she was not a woman to be relied upon.Many people are damaged these days, both men and women. In a way, it's how one elect to approach the situation that can make a difference. It's easy to become a negative person. It's hard to try your best day by day, but that is what we must do.
Wow!!! I'm impressed you are really brave man. I'm dying to go to a salsa class but haven't got the balls to do it. Remember one thing though... Dudes have female friends and their girlfriends have female friends. You'll be meeting girls in no time. Keep going buddy you are really pushing yourself.
This is all very positive pal.Two thumbs up! I lost 1.5 kgs this week too!! Big slap on the back for both of us haha. All of this is taking us in the right direction. Wouldnt recommend getting back in contact with any exs though. Usually ends in disaster. Onwards and upwards. Plenty of new women out there just waiting to meet us.Lucky them!!
Can we dial down the porn terminology? Terms like "Milf" are not appropriate on this forum.
I think the fact that you saw an ex-girlfriend in a foreign country as your potential saviour says a lot about the desperation you find yourself in. I think you need to forget the idea that anyone is going to rescue you. What you need is to find a better relationship with yourself, not be putting your destiny in the the hands of others - who may or may not reject you. You won't find a healthy relationship in a state of desperation. You need to be ok and self-sufficient to have any chance of having a healthy relationship - otherwise you will burden your girlfriend with your well-being. Don't use a girlfriend to treat your depression - it won't work, and it's not fair on her. Forget quick fixes. First, get through your reboot. Until you reboot, you aren't good relationship material - even if your dick does work. It's an attitude thing, and it's a confidence thing. You need to know that you are bringing a good version of yourself to any new relationship. Save yourself the heartache of messing up another relationship. Get yourself together first, and your next relationship will be so much more rewarding.