Author Topic: Last attempt to quite porn  (Read 4347 times)

Do or die

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Last attempt to quite porn
« on: August 17, 2019, 05:46:14 AM »
Hello i am 21 years old.
I started watching porn when i am 15. I am not able to focus on my study after one year of heavy addiction.
Past three years i am trying to leave it . but today i am relapsed . i am relapsed 103 times in 2019.
Its a hudge number. Doing single mistake 103 times is very bad thing. This shows that i don't want to reboot .
But today i am writing this new journal to play a final reboot. I know that every relapse don't reach you to 0. But its dangerous that to relapsing when you know everything about this shit.
So my friends from 4 pm of 17th august i start my final reboot journal.
Day 0
Just relapsed. Feeling very guilty. Very depressed. I don't want to go out of home.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2019, 10:04:46 PM »
Day 1
Completed day 0 successfully. And today is day 1. Day one is really important day.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2019, 11:20:59 PM »
Years passed and i don't recognized that .
I wasted so much time on this. Now its a final reboot . its the time to leave this completely. This is the time to achieve success.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2019, 11:18:53 PM »
Day 2
Completed day 1. Foggy head from morning. Yesterday night is hard for me. Very strong urges i defeated yesterday. If i try it then i should do it.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2019, 09:43:48 AM »
There is no end without the beginning.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2019, 12:38:23 PM »
Yes lero. I never forget you bro. You motivated me when i am in dark.
Feeling so stressed in common things of life. Unable to take decision.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2019, 12:45:32 PM »
Yes lero. I never forget you bro. You motivated me when i am in dark.
Feeling so stressed in common things of life. Unable to take decision.

What I'm trying to say is that, even if 2 days doesn't seem too much, it's the beginning and without a beginning there is no end (of addiction).

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2019, 12:53:59 PM »
You need to understand that this recovery is a process and it might take some time. It's taken me a few years to get to this point where I could go a month without porn. A few years while I knew that I was addicted to porn and I still could figure out a way to stay clean. Patience is very important here. Everbody is tired of porn and wants to start the reboot today and never relapse again but it doesn't always work like this. We might even "need" to relapse a few times until things start working. Every relapse teaches us something and we have to pay attention. How do we relapse and why?

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2019, 02:06:08 PM »
Yes you are right.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2019, 09:53:14 PM »
Day 3
Completed exercise. Yesterday night i have urge And headache . but i focused on my goal. And see i am at day 3 today. This is my fastest recovery as compared to past relapae.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2019, 04:25:53 AM »
Every addiction has withdrawal. We wish it wasn't the case but there is nothing we could do about it. When you are an addict, in order to quit you have to go throw withdrawal. Withdrawal is suffering, for a period of time, but it's a short period of time in your life in comparison to the rest of your life you have ahead. You suffer now for a number of months and then live the next 40, 50, 60 years to the fullest or keep being a porn addict until you die and live the rest of your years as an apathetic, lifeless zombie. Which one do you want to choose? Discovering at an young age that we are porn addicts is a great thing that happens to us. Other people have discovered about their addiction in their 40s, think about it, we have more years ahead of us and we have the chance to quit now and have a different life in our 40s. The one who accepts his withdrawal suffering until it's gone is the one who will become free. The rest will stay slaves. If you resign in front of your suffering, it will keep you a slave all your life.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2019, 11:34:06 PM »
Every addiction has withdrawal. We wish it wasn't the case but there is nothing we could do about it. When you are an addict, in order to quit you have to go throw withdrawal. Withdrawal is suffering, for a period of time, but it's a short period of time in your life in comparison to the rest of your life you have ahead. You suffer now for a number of months and then live the next 40, 50, 60 years to the fullest or keep being a porn addict until you die and live the rest of your years as an apathetic, lifeless zombie. Which one do you want to choose? Discovering at an young age that we are porn addicts is a great thing that happens to us. Other people have discovered about their addiction in their 40s, think about it, we have more years ahead of us and we have the chance to quit now and have a different life in our 40s. The one who accepts his withdrawal suffering until it's gone is the one who will become free. The rest will stay slaves. If you resign in front of your suffering, it will keep you a slave all your life.
You are absolutely right lero.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2019, 11:38:02 PM »
Day 4
completed morning exercise. defeating porn urges from day  1 of reboot. and withdrawals also so stressful. but as lero said if i did reboot for couple of months till withdrawals fully gone then i should be free for my whole life. so this 3-4 months trouble is nothing in front of my whole life.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2019, 03:38:44 AM »
Day 4
completed morning exercise. defeating porn urges from day  1 of reboot. and withdrawals also so stressful. but as lero said if i did reboot for couple of months till withdrawals fully gone then i should be free for my whole life. so this 3-4 months trouble is nothing in front of my whole life.

That's right. That's the attitude. Endure the withdrawal now and the rest of your life will be free.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2019, 03:51:58 AM »
Day 4
completed morning exercise. defeating porn urges from day  1 of reboot. and withdrawals also so stressful. but as lero said if i did reboot for couple of months till withdrawals fully gone then i should be free for my whole life. so this 3-4 months trouble is nothing in front of my whole life.

That's right. That's the attitude. Endure the withdrawal now and the rest of your life will be free.
yes lero
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2019, 10:15:44 PM »
Day 5
Completed my daily exercise. Urges level decreased. Feeling well.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2019, 01:56:52 AM »
Day 5
Completed my daily exercise. Urges level decreased. Feeling well.

Good. This is a good start. Exercise helps.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2019, 03:31:31 AM »
Thanks lero.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2019, 03:39:49 AM »
Day 6
Just 1 day left. To complete 1 week.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2019, 04:24:31 AM »
Day 6
Just 1 day left. To complete 1 week.

Good. Almost 1 week already.  ;)

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2019, 11:53:08 AM »
Completed day 7 also.
Now my main aim is to complete 14 days.
So i going. The rebooters who are reading my journal keep in mind that your mind also want porn when you take your mobile in your hand. But that time just think that what would be changed in 7 or 21 days reboot. Everything changes . Porn really badly affects ourselves .
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #21 on: August 24, 2019, 10:42:11 PM »
Day 8
Today completed exercise. One wd today. Now my goal is to complete 15 days.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2019, 05:53:29 AM »
Day 10 At august 27th
Mood swings are horrible. Want to get rid of this all.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2019, 06:36:56 AM by Do or die »
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2019, 02:13:01 PM »
August 27
Relapsed one time. Day 0 for. Done mistake again.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2019, 09:46:24 PM by Do or die »
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

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Re: Last attempt to quite porn
« Reply #24 on: August 27, 2019, 09:45:51 PM »
Day 1 at August 28
relapsed.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2019, 10:45:01 PM by Do or die »
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.