Author Topic: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too  (Read 1054 times)

The Unhappy Fapper

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #25 on: August 22, 2019, 11:54:38 AM »

That's it!! Exactly. And concentrating on days too. Why bother? This is for life. Bye bye porn and masturbation. Hello ladies!!! Haha. Thanks for the input Lero. Hope you are doing well.

I agree 100% Matt man, but that is what makes this so hard to achieve - the finality of it all; that your go-to release will cease to exist and you will have to find another positive, more difficult to achieve, outlet for it all.

Like being a caveman who's gotten so used to eating Mickey Ds and suddenly has to go out and remember how to hunt his own meat :P

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #26 on: August 22, 2019, 03:29:30 PM »

That's it!! Exactly. And concentrating on days too. Why bother? This is for life. Bye bye porn and masturbation. Hello ladies!!! Haha. Thanks for the input Lero. Hope you are doing well.

I agree 100% Matt man, but that is what makes this so hard to achieve - the finality of it all; that your go-to release will cease to exist and you will have to find another positive, more difficult to achieve, outlet for it all.

Like being a caveman who's gotten so used to eating Mickey Ds and suddenly has to go out and remember how to hunt his own meat :P

But that's a positive thing! We all need this change. Be excited not scared. We are going to do what is natural. We are going to be hunting the meat and it's going to come natural to us. I've been successfully hunting meat only to find I can't eat it. That is much more depressing.  We can all do it. Porn isn't an option.

I hope you are doing well. I've read through your thread. No matter what happens today and tomorrow you have already made a positive change. Eventually everything will kick into place. Keep going strong pal!

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #27 on: August 22, 2019, 03:37:17 PM »
That's right, man. Everything will eventually "click" because we don't sit around doing nothing. If you've been following a plan and you have a direction, a vision about what you want to happen, then you will get close to it everyday.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #28 on: August 22, 2019, 03:39:07 PM »
That's right, man. Everything will eventually "click" because we don't sit around doing nothing. If you've been following a plan and you have a direction, a vision about what you want to happen, then you will get close to it everyday.

I definitely think that's the key. The idle mind is your enemy. Keep busy no matter what.

The Unhappy Fapper

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #29 on: August 22, 2019, 05:02:39 PM »
That's right, man. Everything will eventually "click" because we don't sit around doing nothing. If you've been following a plan and you have a direction, a vision about what you want to happen, then you will get close to it everyday.

I definitely think that's the key. The idle mind is your enemy. Keep busy no matter what.

Amen to that man - idle mind is a real killer.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #30 on: August 23, 2019, 09:34:55 AM »
Amen to that man - idle mind is a real killer.

Too much thinking complicates things. I gotta learn how to "think less".

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #31 on: August 23, 2019, 12:32:30 PM »
Amen to that man - idle mind is a real killer.

Too much thinking complicates things. I gotta learn how to "think less".

Think less about p by thinking more about something else. Get your mind engrossed in something else. Something interesting and healthy. A video course or a documentary series . Get out of the house as much as you can . You can do it. That idle mind late at night is a killer.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #32 on: August 23, 2019, 07:12:50 PM »
Update..

No relapse and no urge to look at porn. My mind seems set on real women . I have definitely got a lot more sensitivity but I don't think I'd get a 100% erection yet. If I get the opportunity I'll take it but I'm not searching it out. The longer I can abstain the better but I'm not going to turn a girl I like down. If it fails there are other things I can do to please her. The most important thing is building on female contact. I think it's critical. How can you reboot if you have no system. Reboot to what? Nothing? Better to keep your head away from the p and notice the women. Enjoy hugs and contact and kissing. Reconnect. Anyway I'm 11 days and counting. Roll on the 2 week mark. I'm going to a friend's birthday party. No doubt she'll have some female friends at the party and I'm going to mingle and act like a normal guy. I'm going to flirt if I'm given the opportunity and I'm going to do everything a normal person should do and I won't be thinking of porn for one second! Keep going strong everyone. Thanks for the support so far.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #33 on: August 24, 2019, 05:11:51 AM »
Great, man. You have the right attitude.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #34 on: August 25, 2019, 05:30:59 PM »
Boom!!! Couldn't hold it any longer. I didn't use p but i did use youtube so that's still bad but not nudity or porn. I've lasted a lot longer than previous attempts but I'm not going on a binge and I'm back to abstaining. One day shy of two weeks when I pmo'd last. I'm only human but that's it out of the way now. Getting on with my day . Not going to even think about it.

Keep going strong everyone.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #35 on: August 25, 2019, 05:39:10 PM »
Boom!!! Couldn't hold it any longer. I didn't use p but i did use youtube so that's still bad but not nudity or porn. I've lasted a lot longer than previous attempts but I'm not going on a binge and I'm back to abstaining. One day shy of two weeks when I pmo'd last. I'm only human but that's it out of the way now. Getting on with my day . Not going to even think about it.

Keep going strong everyone.

That's right, man, that's the attitude. A relapse is not the end of the world, it's actually a help. A help to see what went wrong and what you could do from now on. PMO-ing only to Youtube stuff and not P after so many days is a victory in itself. You relapsed to softer stuff. The damage could be bigger. It's good that you decided not to binge. A binge is a terrible idea. Beware of that annoying chaser effect (I masturbated today without P and the chaser effect was hard). Tomorrow I will start Hard Mode. That's what I want to do.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #36 on: August 25, 2019, 05:44:16 PM »
Boom!!! Couldn't hold it any longer. I didn't use p but i did use youtube so that's still bad but not nudity or porn. I've lasted a lot longer than previous attempts but I'm not going on a binge and I'm back to abstaining. One day shy of two weeks when I pmo'd last. I'm only human but that's it out of the way now. Getting on with my day . Not going to even think about it.

Keep going strong everyone.

That's right, man, that's the attitude. A relapse is not the end of the world, it's actually a help. A help to see what went wrong and what you could do from now on. PMO-ing only to Youtube stuff and not P after so many days is a victory in itself. You relapsed to softer stuff. The damage could be bigger. It's good that you decided not to binge. A binge is a terrible idea. Beware of that annoying chaser effect (I masturbated today without P and the chaser effect was hard). Tomorrow I will start Hard Mode. That's what I want to do.


Thanks for the support man. I'm going to consider it pmoing even though it was only soft. Why??? Because I know it's the same fake shit. So I'm back on the horse now. No chaser. The pressure is gone and i am looking forward to a life without p. I have a busy week ahead and some training in the gym. That should keep me going.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #37 on: August 25, 2019, 05:46:48 PM »
Thanks for the support man. I'm going to consider it pmoing even though it was only soft. Why??? Because I know it's the same fake shit. So I'm back on the horse now. No chaser. The pressure is gone and i am looking forward to a life without p. I have a busy week ahead and some training in the gym. That should keep me going.

Well, you know, masturbating to Youtube is a relapse. It feeds the addicted brain. It's not what I did: I masturbated without any P (watching or thinking about it). But I want to go on hard mode, I like it more but I have to be prepared for the hard urges.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #38 on: August 25, 2019, 05:49:51 PM »
Thanks for the support man. I'm going to consider it pmoing even though it was only soft. Why??? Because I know it's the same fake shit. So I'm back on the horse now. No chaser. The pressure is gone and i am looking forward to a life without p. I have a busy week ahead and some training in the gym. That should keep me going.

Well, you know, masturbating to Youtube is a relapse. It feeds the addicted brain. It's not what I did: I masturbated without any P (watching or thinking about it). But I want to go on hard mode, I like it more but I have to be prepared for the hard urges.


Yes exactly the way i am thinking. If i didn't think that way i would be tricking myself. It's a little trap to get you back to pmo but it won't fool me. I'm straight back in the game.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #39 on: August 25, 2019, 05:55:18 PM »
Yes exactly the way i am thinking. If i didn't think that way i would be tricking myself. It's a little trap to get you back to pmo but it won't fool me. I'm straight back in the game.

P substitutes are always a tool used by the addiction to trick you into giving it dopamine and going back to P. Learning how this works is very important.

The Unhappy Fapper

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #40 on: August 26, 2019, 02:06:57 AM »
keep on going Matt man, your journal is an inspiration  :)

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #41 on: August 26, 2019, 05:22:42 PM »
keep on going Matt man, your journal is an inspiration  :)

Thanks man but don't think yours isn't! You are fighting your battle too. That's an inspiration. I hope you are doing well.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #42 on: August 26, 2019, 05:32:13 PM »
Well I'm feeling good despite my little bump in the road yesterday. I don't have any urges to do it again or look at p. I feel a little bit shitty but not too much and it is Monday so it could be a bit of that too. Hit the gym today and felt a bit weak. Not going to look into that too much because again it could be just that it's Monday. No p for life! I'm back on the horse now and I really want to get through today and I think tomorrow I'll be back in the zone again.

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #43 on: August 27, 2019, 12:36:34 AM »
Well I'm feeling good despite my little bump in the road yesterday. I don't have any urges to do it again or look at p. I feel a little bit shitty but not too much and it is Monday so it could be a bit of that too. Hit the gym today and felt a bit weak. Not going to look into that too much because again it could be just that it's Monday. No p for life! I'm back on the horse now and I really want to get through today and I think tomorrow I'll be back in the zone again.

That's right, man. The best thing to do is not to follow the PMO session with a binge and not to do it again tomorrow. It could feel like shit not doing it but the urge will eventually go away.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #44 on: August 27, 2019, 05:50:10 PM »
Urges to look at women on youtube but not p. That's not ideal and i know where it can lead but I'm not going to relapse again. Today was good. I was kept busy and I'm going to the gym later.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #45 on: September 02, 2019, 03:57:16 AM »
Well i have had a really shitty week and just can't seem to get back on track. I don't want to go into many details but I'm absolutely resetting my counter today. I'm just not motivated. I can't get that feeling back. That desire to kick the habit. It shouldn't be a desire. It should be a necessity. Doesn't help that I've been getting drunk as fuck. I think I'm going to have to completely knock the drinking on the head at the same time. I'm f@#ked

Lero

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #46 on: September 02, 2019, 04:54:42 AM »
Well i have had a really shitty week and just can't seem to get back on track. I don't want to go into many details but I'm absolutely resetting my counter today. I'm just not motivated. I can't get that feeling back. That desire to kick the habit. It shouldn't be a desire. It should be a necessity. Doesn't help that I've been getting drunk as fuck. I think I'm going to have to completely knock the drinking on the head at the same time. I'm f@#ked

I know, man. Since I relapsed on Friday, I've felt like shit. And I relapsed because of getting drunk. You know how much this pisses me off? Because I had been playing with fire like an idiot. I knew that drinking had made me relapse many times but I was too arrogant. I said: "I can handle it, man. Eaaasy." And then here I was, 10 PM, watching P, feeling no fear, no remorse, no regret, because of being drunk. Only after I sobered up, the regret killed me. Losing 40 days streak just like that. Plus, it wasn't any fucking fun. I sobered up and said: "okay, I relapsed, but it was nothing. This was no fucking fun! Why the fuck did I do it?" Because when I am drunk, I don't really feel good when I PMO. So I killed a 40 days streak but I didn't even feel good. How shit is this? This is the worst fucking situation.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2019, 04:57:01 AM by Lero »

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #47 on: September 03, 2019, 01:17:13 AM »
Well i have had a really shitty week and just can't seem to get back on track. I don't want to go into many details but I'm absolutely resetting my counter today. I'm just not motivated. I can't get that feeling back. That desire to kick the habit. It shouldn't be a desire. It should be a necessity. Doesn't help that I've been getting drunk as fuck. I think I'm going to have to completely knock the drinking on the head at the same time. I'm f@#ked

I know, man. Since I relapsed on Friday, I've felt like shit. And I relapsed because of getting drunk. You know how much this pisses me off? Because I had been playing with fire like an idiot. I knew that drinking had made me relapse many times but I was too arrogant. I said: "I can handle it, man. Eaaasy." And then here I was, 10 PM, watching P, feeling no fear, no remorse, no regret, because of being drunk. Only after I sobered up, the regret killed me. Losing 40 days streak just like that. Plus, it wasn't any fucking fun. I sobered up and said: "okay, I relapsed, but it was nothing. This was no fucking fun! Why the fuck did I do it?" Because when I am drunk, I don't really feel good when I PMO. So I killed a 40 days streak but I didn't even feel good. How shit is this? This is the worst fucking situation.

Shit man I'm really sorry to hear that. Not the end of the world though. 40 days is amazing!!!! Get the alcohol out of the system and you'll be right back in the game.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #48 on: September 03, 2019, 01:19:33 AM »
Ok so tomorrow is definitely my day one. And I'm going to beat my streak. My record is 13 days. I'm going to beat that no matter what. Here i go again. I'm going to write here every day . It will keep me focused. No alcohol no pmo and no stress. Back to the meditation. I think when i stopped i lost control.

mattdes

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Re: Hopefully the end is in sight....and the beginning too
« Reply #49 on: September 03, 2019, 06:48:20 PM »
Day One

I'm going to write here every day. It reinforces my will to beat this crap. No negative feelings today probably because I was kept busy. I'll go to the gym later tonight and that should keep my mind off it and then maybe some meditation before bed.