Author Topic: Rebooting Begins Right Now  (Read 1020 times)

AustinGr33n

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Rebooting Begins Right Now
« on: August 12, 2019, 11:35:15 PM »
I'm gonna keep this short and simple. I just relapsed after trying yet again, it's only been five days. Really stepping out of my comfort zone posting to this forum but I really want to be a part of this community.

I've struggled with this on and off for nearly 7 years and I'm sick of it. I fell in love with my girlfriend this year and it pains me to still be battling this, and it makes me feel guilty considering she isn't aware. I want to be strong for her and for myself, so I'm going to get over this now.

Here's to day one and many more to come. Excited to battle with y'all.

Cheers,

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2019, 07:23:36 PM »
Day Two

So far so good, things have been relatively easy up to this point. This is probably because I've spent a good chunk of time with my girlfriend and have been fairly busy at work and busy with personal projects.

Usually my urges get more significant during days 5-9 so this will likely be the first hurdle.

Let's go!!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2019, 05:04:26 PM »
Hey, welcome to the community!

It was a huge step for me to join here and I definitely felt nervous about it. After around 10 years of trying and failing to get any sort of distance from porn, though, joining here has been one of the best things I have done for my recovery. I really feel more in control than ever before, and I'm starting to find a new way of life that feels more sustainable.

Glad you're staying busy and that you know to keep your guard up around 5-9 days. You've got this!

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2019, 09:29:50 PM »
Hey, welcome to the community!

It was a huge step for me to join here and I definitely felt nervous about it. After around 10 years of trying and failing to get any sort of distance from porn, though, joining here has been one of the best things I have done for my recovery. I really feel more in control than ever before, and I'm starting to find a new way of life that feels more sustainable.

Glad you're staying busy and that you know to keep your guard up around 5-9 days. You've got this!

Thanks for replying! I'm glad to be here and am happy to join people like you with similar goals!

Day 4

I just relapsed once, it's 7pm. I got very little sleep last night so was very tired today. After getting home from work I ate and decided to take a short nap. Felt slightly more awake after a 45min nap but I often feel urges after naps (for some strange reason, anyone have any insights into this?) and this urge got me.

I don't feel good about it. On the flip side, I was feeling extremely confident about my reboot so I just need to keep trying and have an alternative to daytime naps.

Lero

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2019, 05:14:02 AM »
Lack of sleep does this to me too. I feel some kind of urge/craving for porn.

Do or die

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2019, 05:37:57 AM »
I also relapsed at day 1.
But i suggest you to make an relapse recovery plan.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2019, 06:12:47 PM »
Sorry to hear about the relapse! But you know that naps can be a trigger and that you need to be more careful about getting a full night's sleep.

One thing I have learned in the last few months is that this recovery is not just about quitting PMO (porn-masturbation-orgasm) but about taking care of ourselves and living healthier lives in general. If we are healthier and happier, we won't feel the need to self-medicate with PMO as much.

Keep it up! A relapse is only a waste if you don't learn from it!

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2019, 12:09:55 AM »
Lack of sleep does this to me too. I feel some kind of urge/craving for porn.

Strange, glad to see it isn't just me!

I also relapsed at day 1.
But i suggest you to make an relapse recovery plan.

Good suggestion! Thanks for the help

Sorry to hear about the relapse! But you know that naps can be a trigger and that you need to be more careful about getting a full night's sleep.

One thing I have learned in the last few months is that this recovery is not just about quitting PMO (porn-masturbation-orgasm) but about taking care of ourselves and living healthier lives in general. If we are healthier and happier, we won't feel the need to self-medicate with PMO as much.

Keep it up! A relapse is only a waste if you don't learn from it!

You are so right, I need to treat it as part of overall health, looking at it more holistically.

Day One

Feeling pretty good today, lazy Saturday but managed to stay healthy. I set up a new tack mark system in my room where I check off 30 tack marks (one for each day I complete), with the goal of starting with 30 days, then 30 days after ETC. I like visually seeing this so that I can be aware and visually see a goal. Just checked the first one off.

Cheers

Do or die

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2019, 12:14:17 AM »
Important thing after one relapse is to fastly get back on your reboot track.
Try to complete this day. And be on track . i relapsed yesterday . today is my first day.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2019, 09:23:03 PM »
Important thing after one relapse is to fastly get back on your reboot track.
Try to complete this day. And be on track . i relapsed yesterday . today is my first day.

Thanks for your feedback man!

Day Five

I definitely had urges today. The previous 4 days were fairly easy but I had to fight today, again I think lack of sleep lately has been a cause. Slowly, my 30 day goal has been chipping away. Need to keep watch these next few days and attempt to get more sleep.

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #10 on: August 21, 2019, 10:51:37 PM »
Hello sir and welcome to the community.

Be sure that strong urges are gonna come soon, and your brain is gonna make all kinds of tricks on you to make you relapse.

I think a key is to be ready to accept and embrace suffering because urges and the cravings are the withdrawal symptoms and they are what you have to go through in order to reboot. So even of your brain is gonna make tons of excuses why you should relapse, be prepared to undergo cravings.

For a good insight and thoughts on what is going on, i suggest you take a look at Lero' s journal, especially the last thre or four pages. The most recent one where you can find good thoughts about how to have the right mindset and win this.

But i mean all this journals are great. This community is awesome and these guys are a great help for each other. It is huge the amount of knowledge that all these guys acquired from experience.

Good luck on your reboot man.

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2019, 09:08:32 PM »
Hello sir and welcome to the community.

Be sure that strong urges are gonna come soon, and your brain is gonna make all kinds of tricks on you to make you relapse.

I think a key is to be ready to accept and embrace suffering because urges and the cravings are the withdrawal symptoms and they are what you have to go through in order to reboot. So even of your brain is gonna make tons of excuses why you should relapse, be prepared to undergo cravings.

For a good insight and thoughts on what is going on, i suggest you take a look at Lero' s journal, especially the last thre or four pages. The most recent one where you can find good thoughts about how to have the right mindset and win this.

But i mean all this journals are great. This community is awesome and these guys are a great help for each other. It is huge the amount of knowledge that all these guys acquired from experience.

Good luck on your reboot man.

Thanks so much man, your words are really helping me currently!

Day 7

Today went very well, I've been well rested and busy, and very few urges, until now. I'm currently writing because my brain is trying to convince myself that it's not so bad to take a peek and visit a site, I think I was triggered by a photo on Instagram. Feeling extremely tempted right now. Gonna stay busy and keep moving.

squid

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #12 on: August 23, 2019, 09:19:59 PM »
Glad to have you in the community! 

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #13 on: August 23, 2019, 10:15:26 PM »
Glad to have you in the community!

Thanks man, glad to be here! Connecting with these stories is helping me fight the urges!

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #14 on: August 27, 2019, 05:00:32 PM »
How are you doing man ?

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #15 on: August 30, 2019, 08:50:19 PM »
How are you doing man ?

Thanks for asking man! Unfortunately I just relapsed last night, I think it was alcohol induced. Clearly need to stay away from substances if I am going to be alone at some point during the night.

I made it 12 days, felt good. I'm going to begin meditating more and breathing often because I have a feeling some of these relapses are happening because of anxiety.

Day One

This is happening now. Time to grow up.

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #16 on: August 31, 2019, 06:25:31 PM »
Ok man.

Yea don' t let that relapse get you down.

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #17 on: September 03, 2019, 09:02:02 PM »
Ok man.

Yea don' t let that relapse get you down.

 :)

Day 5
So far, things have been busy with family, my girlfriend, and work. I've been doing well to prevent urges and I'm thinking a combination of the busyness, exercising daily and getting enough sleep has been helping. I know it's early in the game, but I'm feeling optimistic and ready to continue the fight.

Cheers,

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2019, 06:49:34 PM »
Yes, keep up with the good habits.

Not only they help but i believe they are necessary for you to overcome addiction.

That is the power of the so called sex transmutation.

It is the fact that you HAVE to implement good habits if you want to win this fight.

If you win, it is because you have succesfully replaced ( transmuted) your P addiction with something healthy.

Hence the "superpowers".

Good job. Keep going strong.

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #19 on: September 05, 2019, 12:29:46 AM »
Yes, keep up with the good habits.

Not only they help but i believe they are necessary for you to overcome addiction.

That is the power of the so called sex transmutation.

It is the fact that you HAVE to implement good habits if you want to win this fight.

If you win, it is because you have succesfully replaced ( transmuted) your P addiction with something healthy.

Hence the "superpowers".

Good job. Keep going strong.

Thanks for providing me this perspective, it's interesting, the idea of having to replace unhealthy habits with new habits.

Day 6
I think I need to write in this journal more often, so here I am. Stayed busy today, worked out this morning. Today was somewhat emotionally stressful with my relationship later in the evening but this hasn't caused me any urges. Need to sleep now, day 6 complete. On to day 7.

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #20 on: September 05, 2019, 08:21:53 AM »
Quote
I think I need to write in this journal more often, so here I am.

yes, i agree. I use my daily writting here and checking my journal as a reward to help me implement a good habit in my life : reading.

So i read and then as a reward i come here.

And the daily accountability helps also. Even if you write little and just give us the number of days and a little update.

Good that you stayed busy.

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #21 on: September 05, 2019, 09:31:09 PM »
Quote
I think I need to write in this journal more often, so here I am.

yes, i agree. I use my daily writting here and checking my journal as a reward to help me implement a good habit in my life : reading.

So i read and then as a reward i come here.

And the daily accountability helps also. Even if you write little and just give us the number of days and a little update.

Good that you stayed busy.

Thanks for your continued support Arthur. Much appreciated!

Day 7
Today also went smoothly, work used up the majority of my time. I will admit that I'm currently feeling urges at 7:30pm but I will stay occupied with something else.

Cheers,

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #22 on: September 06, 2019, 08:52:19 AM »
Quote
Thanks for your continued support Arthur. Much appreciated!

You are welcome, man.

Congratulations for your first week.
Is that your first week ever ? (Since you started PMO)

Yes smooth days are a treat arent they ?

When i have an urge i like to go shopping for food, because i like this. For me it is a rewarding activity as i get to spend time choosing the good stuff that i will be eating.
And it takes me out of the house.

And when i come back home, the urge is gone and i had my reward in my brain.

(I feel so proid of me to have found out this  :)   ;)  )

AustinGr33n

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #23 on: September 08, 2019, 12:59:58 PM »
Quote
Thanks for your continued support Arthur. Much appreciated!

You are welcome, man.

Congratulations for your first week.
Is that your first week ever ? (Since you started PMO)

Yes smooth days are a treat arent they ?

When i have an urge i like to go shopping for food, because i like this. For me it is a rewarding activity as i get to spend time choosing the good stuff that i will be eating.
And it takes me out of the house.

And when i come back home, the urge is gone and i had my reward in my brain.

(I feel so proid of me to have found out this  :)   ;)  )

I like this idea of rewarding activity to keep you away from urges. I feel like I haven't found that rewarding activity, I have a lot of hobbies but many are "working" related because I like to be productive towards goals, the downside of this is it can be a little stressful constantly chasing those goals. I need something relaxing that I like to do as well.

Day 10

Today has been a bit urge-filled, but so far so good. I'll be reading and running errands mainly. Just had a thought today that I might tell my girlfriend about my struggles with porn, I know she'll be loving but it'll be a shock to her I'm sure. I just feel like the added accountability will be a good thing for me.

Cheers,

Arthur2

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Re: Rebooting Begins Right Now
« Reply #24 on: September 08, 2019, 05:46:25 PM »
Quote
I have a lot of hobbies but many are "working" related because I like to be productive towards goal

I think this is the best way to beat the addiction : having your whole life goal oriented.

Why not doing a little bit of exercise everyday as a relaxing activity ? It does me so much good and you still improve your overall being.
I think it is considered one of the healthiest things not only for the body but also for the mood and the brain.
It is pretty basic but you ll see tremendous benefits of it.
Dont exhaust yourself but just go out and have fun.

Find out what you are into and do a little bit of it everyday as a daily healthy habit.

And congratulations for your day 10.

Cheers.
I hope you get a good wisdom for talking to your gf.