4/10/14Well I'll cut right to the point, this last week wasn't my best. I reset Friday, Monday, and today. I know I can do better than this, but its like my brain is so foggy I don't feel the guilt of it all. I got a little insight over the weekend though that I'm hoping can help others and its something that has stuck in the back of my mind.What we look up on the internet follows us around, every search every click is recorded and creates in internet profile for us specifically. Then ads chase us around, and before we know it our addiction is staring us in the face each time we log on. In a sense we become what we search. The more you feed your addiction the more you will become an addict, and I don't know about you guys, but an addict is the last thing I want to be classified as. Right now its a fact I'm an addict, but its a title I hope to one day change to I used to be an addict. Also my PMO Tracker says 365 but that is just because I want a bar showing me my progress, truth be told this is an eternal thing for me, I don't want to have a set back ever not just for a year.
Also my PMO Tracker says 365 but that is just because I want a bar showing me my progress, truth be told this is an eternal thing for me, I don't want to have a set back ever not just for a year.
Alright so I just went 3ish weeks without even getting on here. I lost the guilt feeling for PMO and went straight to feeling sorry for myself and telling myself it was ok because I needed a release. Long story short, I feel the need to get working on this again. I didn't get the job I mentioned in my first post, but thats ok, they are hiring again in a few months. I meet all the physical requirements now i just didn't do to well on the interview. I got a promotion at my current job which should look better on my resume for when they hire again. I also have a good shot at a similar job coming up in a few months. The reason I'm explaining this is because I want my mind to be clear this time around. I don't want to be worried about anything but these jobs, which means I need to go PMO free from here on out. This time I will be better about checking in more regularly and I will be better about thinking before acting. That is a big one for me. It seems I PMO out of habit more than desire.
Anything is possible. You are adapting away from high stimulation to normal stimulation.
Quote from: LTE on April 16, 2014, 11:01:47 PMAnything is possible. You are adapting away from high stimulation to normal stimulation.that is so true
5/20/2014I have come to the realization that quitting PMO is harder than I expected. I thought oh all i need to do is write about it every so often on this page and I'll be free from addiction. I was wrong. I've also come to realize that quitting my own way is probably not going to work, if my way worked (just avoiding it and writing on here) then I'd be able to quit already. Does anyone have any pointers for keeping your mind clean, curbing PMO cravings, gaining willpower, and most important changing the way your brain links cute girls to a desire to PMO. Everything has something that triggers my mind and It is making this a lot harder than I expected.
5/28/14I keep finding a coincidence with my set backs and where my forum lands on the site. The fact that I'm on page 3 shows I'm not on here enough. I don't have ED, and my real motivator is guilt because I see PMO as a bad thing. However its almost like i don't feel the guilt sometimes. Sometimes I have to remind myself its bad, because I don't feel bad for doing it. I need to get my PMO conscious back somehow. I'm thinking it might be brain fog keeping it from me, but I'm not really sure.
6/17/14I almost gave in this morning. I've been having a dry spell in the sex department, and maybe thats a good thing. I still get the urge to have sex and in the past my release was PMO. I stopped myself today which I am actually sort of proud of myself for. My usual pitfall is releasing from being in the mood but not having a natural way to release so I use artificial ways. I think I've only been giving this a half effort and now I'm feeling more ready to actually give it my all.