Author Topic: After 1.3 year without porn, ED became...worst?  (Read 484 times)

frenchhustler

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After 1.3 year without porn, ED became...worst?
« on: August 07, 2019, 05:02:36 PM »
I am in my early thirties. I started watching porn at 12y.

When I had my first sexual relationships in my early 20's, I started having sexual problems:
- I was either TOO excited
- or... not excited enough...
This would translate to:
- I would either not get hard
- or if got hard, I was too excited and I cummed way too quickly (i.e in tens of seconds).
- or if I could get hard and not cum right away, sometime I would become soft again a few minutes later
Sometimes, I managed sex sessions that were somewhat satisfying. In general, this only happened when I kept having sex with the same partner, after a few month of intimacy. With first-time partners, it was almost impossible to get decent sex. This has caused me huge frustrations. I had a decent number of sex partners (maybe 40-50), but I really had to hustle a lot to get them. I am not a "natural player". And I when I finally had sex with these girls, a lot of time it was disappointing, causing girls not to stick around...
At that time, I blamed it mostly on the porn, but for some reason I did not decide to do anything about it. I thought I could just stop porn at anytime and fix everything.

Later, I got with my current girlfriend (started 5 years ago). At the beginning, the sex was good. Then after a few years, it progressively became worst. Last year, I finally decided to stop porn, in order to fix my sex life with my girlfriend. It's been 1 year and 3 month since I last watched porn. I don't have strong urges to watch porn again. I do have strong boners in the morning if I dont masturbate for a few days. I also started to eat healthy and to exercise regularly. However, it hasnt solved the sex problems with my girlfriend. I also have sex with other girls sometime, and problems are even worst.

I need to better understand whats causing all of this. Possible reasons:
- My mum is a hardcore feminist / anti-men woman, who probably made me feel bad unconsciously about having sex with women in general
- I regularly go to see erotic massage therapist or even hookers sometime (more rarely)
- It's been 1.5 years that my gf lives in another country, i.e less frequent sex.

Some possible solutions:
- stop seeing erotic massage / hookers
- go for therapy about my mum problems
- Masturbation... not sure on that one... I do masturbate once in a while ( once every 1 to 3 weeks). I feel like not masturbating at all can have negative effects.
- Porn...also not sure on that one...I am not sure that completely stopping is a good thing. I am wondering if consuming a bit of it can stimulate my desire. But I am really really afraid of becoming addicted again, even if now I have 0 very little desire to watch porn.
- Exercise even more regularly than I do now. Maybe twice a week. More sport = more testosterone = more sex desire?
- Start a "sex journal" where I describe my sex performance (masturbation and any sex acts with girls), as well as the context. Also will do this for past performances that I can remember.  The objective is to nail down favorable conditions for good sex.

Looking forward for your thought guys :)

rw115

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Re: After 1.3 year without porn, ED became...worst?
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2019, 12:45:22 PM »
How is your erection "quality" when you masturbate? and do you do that with or without porn fantasies?
Your ED also could anxiety driven...

foo

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Re: After 1.3 year without porn, ED became...worst?
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2019, 03:18:44 PM »
> - stop seeing erotic massage / hookers

Yes.

> - Porn...also not sure on that one...I am not sure that completely stopping is a good thing.

Stopping is absolutely a good thing. Even if you weren't afflicted with PIED, it's a good thing.

Johnny Trailer

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Re: After 1.3 year without porn, ED became...worst?
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2019, 12:06:34 PM »
imagine a heroin addict who stopped injecting heroin but became a weekend warrior like most non-addicts and sniffed some heroin every other weekend for 1.3 years. he is still experiencing withdrawals and what not. if he did not noticed that he is sniffing it, he would start turning to buddhism, the way his dad treated him, he would look to see if there is a connection between his shoe size and a withdrawal he is experiencing. just a desperation attempt to solve the problem.

but then imagine a light bulb going on, "HOLY CRAP, IM STILL DOING HEROIN EVERY OTHER WEEK AND WONDERING ABOUT WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. FUCK THOSE WEEKEND WARRIORS THEY WERE NEVER ADDICTS ANYWAY". everything would become clear and he would know exactly that its not a shoe size, its not his dad, its not about his house entrance facing north etc. he would go to 12 steps or whatever. maybe he would fail for some time but he would at least know whats up.

-you want to keep a sex journal as a mean of recovering from PIED? so you think whether, time, mood, clothing etc. has to be right for you to experience sex? the reason you are having sexual problems is because you have not figured out the right combination of conditions that need to match in order for you to have a solid erection?
-less frequent sex is a problem? i had a friend who was virgin for 25 years, he never had a problem with erections.
-your mother is feminist? it made you look at sex so bad that you got addicted to watching people have sex. but even more seriously though, you think your mother being feminist is the reason you have PIED?
-you think more testosterone will cure your PIED? you need to find out how PIED develops if you want to recover from it. its crucial. YBOP is great source of information.
-porn is not completely bad? quitting masturbation can have negative consequences? there you go sniffing heroin, wondering if maybe eating potato is a problem.

i had people arguing with me over this but i always had a problem proving them wrong because they never really went without porn for few months... it was he say she say. but there you are, 1.3 years and still at it, getting worse of course.

i went 8 months without porn. doing good and then started to get back into MO (i thought it was okay to MO in the end). guess what happened almost instantly. next sex was horrible and few more MO sessions and i was back to square 1.