Author Topic: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)  (Read 2741 times)

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid.
« Reply #200 on: September 18, 2019, 10:00:32 AM »
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This is typical. It happens to everyone. When the strong craving for P came up, I reminded myself of the benefits of P abstinence, I reminded myself of the misery of relapse, but my body didn't produce any feeling associated with those, only the feeling of wanting P right now.

Yes. One thing that i have found helpful is to read people' s benefits reports when i get urges (on YBOP).
I read them for like half an hour and them the urge is gone.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid.
« Reply #201 on: September 18, 2019, 11:24:23 AM »
This is a great quote from Lero :

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You can't really rely on your f******* brain, man. You gotta think deeper.

Very profound and wise quote. Very true.

This is why us christians believe in the Bible. The word of God.

Because our own brain is treacherous and decieving. We just figured that out and chose to rely on what God says to find out what is the truth about everything.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperatly wicked : who can know it ?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

It is true. Our hearts and brains are deceitful and often deceived.

By the way, the Bible says that Satan deceives the whole world.

Lero

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid.
« Reply #202 on: September 18, 2019, 12:45:21 PM »
This is a great quote from Lero :

Quote
You can't really rely on your f******* brain, man. You gotta think deeper.

Very profound and wise quote. Very true.

This is why us christians believe in the Bible. The word of God.

Because our own brain is treacherous and decieving. We just figured that out and chose to rely on what God says to find out what is the truth about everything.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperatly wicked : who can know it ?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

It is true. Our hearts and brains are deceitful and often deceived.

By the way, the Bible says that Satan deceives the whole world.

Your body is not the real you. Your spirit is the real you, the body is only a suit without which you won't be able to walk the earth. Relying too much on your body to live your life is not the best choice for me. My brain tells me to PMO to death for example. Should I listen? The real me is not a PMO freak.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #203 on: September 18, 2019, 05:20:05 PM »
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Your body is not the real you. Your spirit is the real you, the body is only a suit without which you won't be able to walk the earth. Relying too much on your body to live your life is not the best choice for me. My brain tells me to PMO to death for example. Should I listen? The real me is not a PMO freak.

"It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing : the words that i speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life."

Guess who says that ?

And i am using the present tense because it is an everlastingly true statement from Jesus Christ.
That is why i said we rely on the word of God (the Bible) because the word of God gives us spiritual everlasting life.

So yea, i mean the body ends up dying, doesn' t it ?
But the spirit continues for ever.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #204 on: September 18, 2019, 05:26:53 PM »
So yea, you should definitly not listen to your brain in that particular matter. In the sense that you should not listen to your lusty brain.

So who should we listen to in our life in general ? ... Well... listen to God !

Day 13

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #205 on: September 18, 2019, 05:32:59 PM »
Who hates PMO ? Raise your hand. Raise your hand if you hate PMO.

Arthur raises his hand I hate it. I hate it because i twistedly love it.

Who else hates PMO ? Raise your hand.

Free-man

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #206 on: September 18, 2019, 10:13:29 PM »
I loved it, but I'm learning to hate it.
Do you want to know what porn has made to us? (I read it 5 min ago and it shocked me really, it's taken from an interview to Gary Wilson for The London Times): 
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/about/your-brain-on-porn-in-the-news/london-times-feature-by-gary-wilson-a-cure-for-porn-addicts-who-have-lost-that-loving-feeling/
…"And the Max Planck study found that years and hours of porn use correlated with loss of grey matter in the brain’s reward system (which runs on dopamine)"
I HATE IT

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #207 on: September 19, 2019, 06:41:43 AM »
Thank you free-man, that is a good article.

It is enraging what has happened to us but really, recovery is at hand.

Who else hates PMO ?

Lero

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #208 on: September 19, 2019, 07:13:04 AM »
Thank you free-man, that is a good article.

It is enraging what has happened to us but really, recovery is at hand.

Who else hates PMO ?

I hate PMO, man. We are the Hateful Duo.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #209 on: September 19, 2019, 01:15:24 PM »
Day 14

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #210 on: September 20, 2019, 03:40:54 PM »
D 15

Free-man

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #211 on: September 20, 2019, 03:51:08 PM »
2 Weeks. Congratulations!!!
Keep going, stay strong!

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #212 on: September 21, 2019, 08:15:29 AM »
Day loser.

Sorry guys.

Free-man

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #213 on: September 21, 2019, 09:13:20 AM »
what happened?

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #214 on: September 21, 2019, 03:29:52 PM »
Hornyness increasing, i edged and eventually...

But frankly i don t feel bad. Even though i ll feel horny and experience withdrawals, i feel like MO is less and less a habit.

I mean i dont do it like it is a normal thing, like i used to. I am getting rid of that bad habit little by little.

Today was an accident due to complacency.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #215 on: September 21, 2019, 03:37:22 PM »
In the past, after a relapse, i would have gone back to a PMO life style for weeks before i get momentum again and even attempt to go on another streak.

But now i just see it as an accident, and i dont see myself fapping tomorrow and the days after at all. That would be awkward.

I am not the guy that faps everyday anymore.

Ok today i O'd 3 times, but really that' s it.
Tomorrow i wont do it.

In the past, daily MO was the norm and a streak was an accident. For example when i was sleeping a a dormatory with other people aroind for several days, i couldnt fap. It was accidental streak.

Now sobriety is becoming the norm and fapping is just an accident when i have nothing on my hand to do, and i am too lazy to actually get up and take a walk.

I still feel quite good.
I dont beat myself up.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #216 on: September 21, 2019, 03:39:07 PM »
That is childish. I should have just get up and take a hike.
 ::)

Lero

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #217 on: September 21, 2019, 04:36:15 PM »
That's right, man, going crazy about it won't solve anything. The best thing to do is see what you did wrong and think about what you are going to do about it. Not relapsing the same ways again and again is the key, because like this you can get the streak. Like in my case, I eliminated what made me relapse and I made it to 40 days. Then I didn't eliminate what made me relapse (alcohol) and I relapsed twice in a row. It's just plain stupid to keep repeating the same mistake, obviously I have to work this out.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #218 on: September 22, 2019, 06:02:07 PM »
Day 1

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #219 on: September 22, 2019, 06:30:57 PM »
Since my last relapse, i realized something :

Even though i will still be "horny" after a few days of nofap, and i will crave to watch P, masturbation is starting to become a habit no more.

Yes i relapsed saturday 3 MO's.
Oh SHIT SHIT SHIT ! SHIT !

I ll admit that was PMO because i did it watching a picture of a gorl that i like. That counts as PMO.


Alright.

That being said, and that being out of the way, after saturday' s PORN MO, i felt awkward, as if it was not me anymore. As if it was not a normal thing for me to do anymore.
Like it is not really a habit anymore. Cause even if i had streaks that were not very long, and i relapsed several times since early august, i am starting to quit that as an habit.

I really dont want to do it anymore. I thimk my brain is already changing.
I used to do it mindlessly like something i dont even consider doing. I was just doing it. Yea : mindlessly. That is a perfect way to say it.

But now it has shifted : PMO is not my thing anymore.
Of course i still struggle with urges and i probably will for a long time (espwcially if i continue relapse), bit i think writting here has really helped me to change my overall habit.

That is really neat.

Free-man

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #220 on: September 23, 2019, 03:17:25 AM »
Get up and try again man

What about if you try the cheatsheets? because I think when the cravings comes again to your mind, you can take the cheatsheet and analyze the causes, the triggers that made you fail in the past. Maybe you can avoid to PMO, MO or O again.

The fields you could write in a table, each time that you relapse:
TRIGGERED BY:
PMO, MO, O:
HOW MANY TIMES:
DAY OF THE WEEK: (monday, tuesday, … weekend)
TIME OF THE DAY: (morning, afternoon, evening…)

You could add whatever you think is necessary.
It's just an idea for people who the streaks are less than 2 or 3 weeks.

But let me ask you if you install a blocker for internet? Did you delete all the porn you had?

Lero

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #221 on: September 23, 2019, 07:02:34 AM »
Arthur, we are again at it hand in hand, almost the same number of days. We have mistakes to solve, behavior to eliminate, plan to tweak, add what works, eliminate what doesn't work. We are not still there yet. We are not at the point where we could go a lot of days but we will get there. You've made a lot of progress already by feeling weird while masturbating. I don't. So probably you're doing better. I crave dopamine, I crave the pleasure of PMO... What can I say? I will have to tweak my plan. But anyway, one of us has to make it the finish line.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2019, 09:51:09 PM by Lero »

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #222 on: September 23, 2019, 05:50:44 PM »
I almost want to cry, man.

One of us needs to make it to the finish line ?
No, we both make it.
I will make it. Or else i would die. But i wont die. I cant die. Therefore i will make it.

I crave dopamine too.

But we have the tools. We already know everything we need to know.

Man tonight i hate my behavior more than i ever had.
It is such a disgusting habit.

day 0 again.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #223 on: September 23, 2019, 05:52:29 PM »
Look how free man is making it.
He is already making it.

We dont have to struggle for years. We can be free tonight.

Let us not watch porn or masturbate ever again. That' s it.

Arthur2

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Re: I want to be as i was when i was a kid (The PMO hatas)
« Reply #224 on: September 23, 2019, 06:03:57 PM »
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But let me ask you if you install a blocker for internet? Did you delete all the porn you had?

I know i should stop using internet in my room altogether.
And maybe just have a specific place where i go to do my emails and stuff, somewhere not in my room. Somewhere people pass by.

Because frankly why do i even use internet for anyway ?
Facebook crap ? Dopamine again.
MMA videos ? Waste of time. Empty entertainment and desensitization to violence.
Emails ? I rarely get valuable emails. And i could check them once every two days.


And have no internet in my room. That would be great.
I ll think about it. Cause all my relapses were with at least pictures. And many times it starts with youtube porn. None were pure imagination.

Brothers, i will think about it tomorrow. And how i can implement that.
The thing is that internet is svery convenient. And i also use it for other good purposes.

Let me think about it.
Thank you free man.