Author Topic: Things I need to do this for.  (Read 523 times)

fmymind123

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Things I need to do this for.
« on: July 29, 2019, 05:21:27 PM »
Day1.
I love my girlfriend.
I wanna have sex.
I wanna be more motivated.
I wanna be able to focus on the stuff im doing.
I want to be the person my family thinks I am.
Its day1. Lets see what happens.

squid

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2019, 08:44:07 PM »
Day1.
I love my girlfriend.
I wanna have sex.
I wanna be more motivated.
I wanna be able to focus on the stuff im doing.
I want to be the person my family thinks I am.
Its day1. Lets see what happens.

In my experience, quiting porn will help with all of these a ton.  Nice work on making a commitment!  Post your thoughts on your journal every day, that's helped me a lot. 

Stay free my friend,

-squid

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2019, 02:56:52 AM »
Thank you! Good luck with your journey too!

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2019, 04:59:55 PM »
Okay so today wasn't so bad. I had some cravings but thankfully didn't yield to it. I am interning abroad now so I skyped my girlfriend. I also was productive in my free time. Solved 2 leetcode questions and 1 ctci question. So all is well today. Accept for the internship, I feel like im not progressing at all. gotta work harder during that. Hopefully tomorrow I can focus enough to  do it.

I must remember, when I want to peek its not just peeking
when I want to see if theres something new its not just that
Its always just porn and I should avoid it so I can be enjoying my regular life.

Also this is day 2. My first goal is to reach day 4, should be doable.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2019, 05:01:57 PM by ogito123 »

Lero

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2019, 05:07:49 PM »
That's right. You have to stay away from anything that stimulates your porn pathway. This includes peeking, fantasizing, looking at pictures etc. You have to identify everything that you want to use for stimulation and stay away from it, especially when hard urges start because it was easy for me to think I had it, when my streak was 2 days, but not after 9 days my urges shoot through the roof and I have to be extra careful. One little moment of peeking could sabotage me.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2019, 05:34:03 PM »
That's right. You have to stay away from anything that stimulates your porn pathway. This includes peeking, fantasizing, looking at pictures etc. You have to identify everything that you want to use for stimulation and stay away from it, especially when hard urges start because it was easy for me to think I had it, when my streak was 2 days, but not after 9 days my urges shoot through the roof and I have to be extra careful. One little moment of peeking could sabotage me.

This is really solid advice. I think a lot of people (me included) have to learn this the hard way through repeatedly rationalizing these smaller triggering behaviors as "okay" and then relapsing over and over. If you can take this advice to heart and really be careful about avoiding anything that triggers those porn-related dopamine pathways, you'll start off in a really strong place. It's not just about quitting porn, it's about healing from addiction of any kind.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2019, 12:39:53 PM »
Day 3 going on. I masturbated today but WITHOUT porn. I had like %40 erection. Really sad that i am 22 and have an erection like that. Its okay though, it can recover if i keep this up. Tomorrow I will reach my first goal of 4 days.

Today I was again pretty productive, solved 2 leetcode questions and will do one more soon.

A great quote i saw today from Bruce Lee:
"Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do."

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2019, 06:17:19 PM »
Welp i messed up again. I feel disgusting. Idk whats wrong with me, one second everythings awesome the other im looking at porn. I need to change a lot on my life to fix this.

1) I WILL NOT USE MY LAPTOP IN BED.
2) WHEN I GET CRAVINGS I WILL LOOK AWAY FROM COMPUTER FOR 10 MINUTES.
3) I WILL LOOK AT THIS WEBSITE AT LEAST 10 MINUTES A DAY.

simple stuff right? I must be able to do this someway.
Day 1 again...

squid

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2019, 10:14:31 PM »
Hang in there dude, it's great to see you making a plan from your relapse. 

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2019, 09:57:47 AM »
I know I haven't posted here in a while. But I just went 10 days without porn. Its been a really long while since I accomplished that. I failed today, but i still feel really good. Like I can do this if i try hard.

Even when I was looking at porn today it didn't feel as good as it did before. I know if i do it again and again i will fall to the old patterns of feeling like  I can't quit. So this week will be really important. I will do anything necessary to get through this week.  I will not relapse again today.

My next goal is 14 days. Obviously its actually infinite days but I am aiming for 14, than 1 month and so on. I CAN DO THIS.

I have been listening to the porn free radio on itunes. It helped me get my mind off porn most of the time. I shoulda given it a shot today too but i just didn't. this was a mistake and wont happen again.  I think I will try to be more active with my posts here this time too. I hope I can do this. Its just 2 weeks anyone should be able to do it. So I should be too!

Lero

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2019, 11:24:21 AM »
I know I haven't posted here in a while. But I just went 10 days without porn. Its been a really long while since I accomplished that. I failed today, but i still feel really good. Like I can do this if i try hard.

Even when I was looking at porn today it didn't feel as good as it did before. I know if i do it again and again i will fall to the old patterns of feeling like  I can't quit. So this week will be really important. I will do anything necessary to get through this week.  I will not relapse again today.

My next goal is 14 days. Obviously its actually infinite days but I am aiming for 14, than 1 month and so on. I CAN DO THIS.

I have been listening to the porn free radio on itunes. It helped me get my mind off porn most of the time. I shoulda given it a shot today too but i just didn't. this was a mistake and wont happen again.  I think I will try to be more active with my posts here this time too. I hope I can do this. Its just 2 weeks anyone should be able to do it. So I should be too!

That's right. You will realize that you actually can do more than you think you can. A certain number of days might seem scary in the beginning but once you reach it, it's not scary anymore. You can push past that to accomplish a longer streak. In my case, I didn't think I could even realize an 8 days streak, because my best had been 7 days. And now I have 34 days without a relapse, it's way beyond my limit already. Things are not so scary anymore.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2019, 12:31:32 PM »
I know I haven't posted here in a while. But I just went 10 days without porn. Its been a really long while since I accomplished that. I failed today, but i still feel really good. Like I can do this if i try hard.

Even when I was looking at porn today it didn't feel as good as it did before. I know if i do it again and again i will fall to the old patterns of feeling like  I can't quit. So this week will be really important. I will do anything necessary to get through this week.  I will not relapse again today.

My next goal is 14 days. Obviously its actually infinite days but I am aiming for 14, than 1 month and so on. I CAN DO THIS.

I have been listening to the porn free radio on itunes. It helped me get my mind off porn most of the time. I shoulda given it a shot today too but i just didn't. this was a mistake and wont happen again.  I think I will try to be more active with my posts here this time too. I hope I can do this. Its just 2 weeks anyone should be able to do it. So I should be too!

That's right. You will realize that you actually can do more than you think you can. A certain number of days might seem scary in the beginning but once you reach it, it's not scary anymore. You can push past that to accomplish a longer streak. In my case, I didn't think I could even realize an 8 days streak, because my best had been 7 days. And now I have 34 days without a relapse, it's way beyond my limit already. Things are not so scary anymore.

Thank so much for the reply. Congratz on your progress. I will try not to fall too far behind you!

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2019, 02:19:40 PM »
Its 8.17. I got 3 hours and 43 minutes till I finish the day. So how will I get through it. I already solved leetcode and dont  feel like solving more, I already ate, and watched my usual youtube videos. I will probably play same games on my pc thinking don't starve, if i get bored from it i will netflix, after that I will youtube and reddit till I sleep. I know these are all not productive stuff but I have already done productive stuff today and need to fill the happy part of my brain too. Only 3 and a half hours left. No matter what I can get through those 3 and a half hours. So thats the goal, get through 3.30 hours. I can do this.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2019, 01:37:52 AM »
I woke up from sexual dreams today. didn't come but i am craving. Its 8.30 am right now. I got a long day ahead of me. So how will I get through this day. I got work between 10-12.30 today, after that I will eat and then come back home, i should be home around 2. gonna skype parents, talk to gf. I am travelling back to my country tomorrow so I need to pack up. I am going to sleep when I feel horny and I will play games to distract myself. Also going to youtube. These are not enough to get me through 12 hours but I also have to do leetcode for 1.30 hours today. stuff to watch on youtube should take another 1 hour. I can watch a movie on netflix for anpther 1.30 hours.That still adds up to around 6.30 so thats not enough. I will listen to pornfree radio for 30 minutes thats 7 pm now. I think i will try to delay when I get home because 5 hours of unacounted time is t oo long. I can do this though.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #14 on: October 05, 2019, 03:56:40 AM »
I went 9 days this time. It was really nice. I kept forcing myself to socialize each day and it was really helpful. Today I relapsed. I was supposed to go out but had to cancel because I had to study. I have been horny last 3 days but cooped with it by meeting my girlfriend. Today I woke up at 8 and relapsed at 10. I don't really know what I can do about that. I wasn't even craving porn as much as before. I guess thats a good thing. Because I am realizing me socializing can pull me out of this miserable shit.  JUST KEEP SOCIALIZINGGG I CAN DO THIS.

Socilizing must be done
When Feeling the urges, go to sleep, meet up with a friend, go to gym, walk out, listen to the porn free podcast.
Try to be in your comfort zone ie dont be too tired or lonely.

You did 9 days easily. Now do easy 24 hours. You can do this.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2019, 02:01:08 PM »
Sunday was easy again, I spent time with my girlfriend the whole day and we had to study so we studied the whole day. Today is going fine also, my web blocker messed up and I browsed reddit for a minute but it quickly worked and I stopped. Its 10 pm right now. I only need to go 2 hours. Should not be too bad.I can do this. I already feel tired and I think I will feel tired tomorrow and I get the urges a lot when I get tired, but I will try to nap when I get the urges instead of acting on it so that should be good! I can do this.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2019, 05:31:42 PM »
I went 9 days again. This is generally a good progress. I went from not being able to handle 2-3 days to consistently doing 9 days. But this is not enough because I still don't feel anything when I am doing physical stuff with my girlfriend. I don't like porn I don't know why I watched it today. Its so weird I used to think I love it but today before I watched it i didn't even crave it much. And right now even thinking about it makes me feel disgusted. But as I was doing it I really enjoyed it. Its just so weird. Nevertheless 9 days wasn't bad. It was really easy because I am usually balancing life pretty well right now. I am studying some, working out some, sociazling some too and even gaming. I used to be someone that couldn't balance life, if i gamed i only gamed if i studied i only studied adn if i worked out i only owrked out. It was all or nothing. Now its nice to have some balance in my life which is what is making this easier to get through I think. Given that I need a way to progress from 9 days to 2 weeks and a month to 3 months to forever. So here is the outline of my week.

Tomorrow is monday and I am in the morning I have classes, then I will workout and at night till midnight I have to study with a group so I should be fine.
Tuesday is again lots of classes and workout. After that I might do some leetcode or go to library and study there.
Wednesday I have no classes but in the morning  I will go to gym and then breakfast - nap and then library I think. Also spend time with my girlfriend. and maybe game a little.
Thursday I am going home for break. This will be where it gets hard because I don't know what to do when Im home. I can try to go on runs and chill with family.

So other than these, this time  I will really write everything as a journal in this website. I love my girlfriend I don't wanna lose her bcause of this. I will also watch 1 episode of porn free podcast everday. So tomorrow is 24 hours. I can get through 24 hours.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2019, 01:13:24 AM »
7 days this time. Feeling weird because I was doing fine. Things went south when I went to the bathroom with my phone. I am learning a lot through this process, next time I will never bring my phone to bathroom.  I am already doing this with my bedtime,i never use my phone in bed anymore i just read. So I can do it for bathroom too. Also I will watch a porn free podcast everyday. finaly I will try to write here even if its small. I think these habits will help me a lot. I just need to do them. I am having a happy life. Theres no reason for me to use porn. I am social and happy these days. So I just need to get down on it and fix these small habits. I can do this.

Btw I did have urges during these 7 days but I was doing good ignoring them till that point. Thats a plus. But I need to keep listening to my body and when I have urges I need to be extra careful.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2019, 07:36:22 PM »
Learn from every relapse. Of course the goal is to never relapse, but it's still progress if never relapse again for the same reason as before. Take what you learned this time around and commit to a new plan of action to avoid the same thing in the future.

Keep it going! If you're learning, you're on the right track

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2019, 04:32:11 PM »
Thank you heron! Its day 5 and I have some urges. But i will sleep in an hour or so so i think I can manage. I am glad I opened the forum when I got the urges. Itd be nice to make it a habit to open the forum whenever I get urges. But I am doing pretty good so far. When I get the urges I make my self realize why they are happening and whats causing them and try to dismiss them. I feel like im on the right track. I will be on the lookout because if i  get comfy i will let my guard down. I also stopped getting my phone and computer to bed and the bathroom which were the 2 places I relapse wiithout even feeling the urges. So everything seems achievable now!

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #20 on: November 11, 2019, 07:15:12 AM »
Day 7!!!! Have some urges but i think i am going strong. Ive been keeping up with my gym schedule and starting to slowly see some results. I got an important exam tomorow so tonight I will be stressed and will sleep late. These are not good mind states for me to be in so tonight will be risky, but I will stick with my rules and won't get my phone and my laptop to bathroom and to bed. In addition I will study in school library next to my friends so I will try to focus in the moment. I am happy with my life. I used to watch porn to feel good because I was depressed and life was hard and I was lonely. Now I have friends and I am somewhat succesful in life, I have hobbies and a future career that I like. I like my life. But I still watch porn. Nowadays I see no reason for it. So I need to remember, I don't need porn anymore. I will get rid of porn from my life and I will be where I want to be in my life!

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2019, 09:51:09 AM »
8 days! I am really tired and sleep and have urges. I had my exam today and slept very little. So I will take a short nap now. After that I need to study again I got exams all week. So I think these urges are happening today because I am tired. But I won't fall for it. I will go take a short nap now then go to library to study!

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2019, 05:57:50 PM »
I just entered 9th day. Its around 2 am. Meaning I am staying up much later than I should. I will sleep after posing this. I have urges, I think its because I am tired and because 9 days is usuallly when I fail. Not this time though. I am listening to my rules. It will all work out. I just need to trust the process and give myself time and listen to my body and feelings. One day at a time.

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #23 on: November 13, 2019, 08:02:21 AM »
Wow today in the morning I had bad cravings. I was supposed to go to the gym at 9 am but I decided not to go and as I was sitting in my room I got horny. BUT I DIDNT CAVE IN! I played some video games and solved some questions, then met with frieends with lunch and then I even went to the gym!!! Now I am back, rested. I will shower and go to the library to study. I feel very happy about this progress :)

ogito123

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Re: Things I need to do this for.
« Reply #24 on: November 15, 2019, 03:08:03 AM »
I am still going at it, day 11 now. I am really sleepy, exam periods are causing me to stay up longer than id like. And I think this is giving me cravings. But I will fight them. Today I accidently brought my phone to bed as I was gonna nap, but then i went and put it back down. Usually i would just say 1 time doesn't hurt you are already doing well, but this time i didn't fall to my own trap. I can do this. If I can get through next 4 days exam period will end and I will be relaxed again. Just 4 days! Even better, today has just 13 hours left. One day at a time!