Author Topic: All for one goal: stop PMO for good  (Read 1362 times)

allforone

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 56
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #50 on: August 04, 2019, 03:26:21 AM »
thanks Jixu for the encouragement!

As much as I thought I would never reset my counter, I relapsed on July 26 when I was on a solo trip. I installed cold turkey software on my computer. It worked great because basically there is no turning back once you set up your blocked list. However, I have not yet find any application which works the same "no turning back" way as cold turkey on my phone. So I accessed porn from my phone and relapsed. The test came and I indulged porn for 10 days.

Here I am again to start over!

Anybody know how to block unwanted websites on Android's browser?  So far I have uninstalled Chrome and installed SPIN browser but I can always get around by installing Chrome again.

thanks!

idunno

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 57
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #51 on: August 15, 2019, 12:29:21 PM »
I hope you're doing OK. I know it's such an awful feeling after a relapse like that, so I'm wishing you the best in emerging from it all, and onto a new effort.

allforone

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 56
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #52 on: August 21, 2019, 09:06:17 PM »
Thanks idunno for the encouragement.

damn it! Relapsed again on August 21.

Again the problem is my mobile phone. I installed Cold Turkey on my computer which worked great. Once I put in all the porn sites I wanted to block, I am not allowed to remove any item from that blocked list anymore. Nor am I allowed to uninstall Cold Turkey. This is a great feature!

Things are different on my phone. First I am not able to find anything app which works like Cold Turkey on my computer. So I resorted to Accountable2You and found a friend as my AP. The problem is after some days, my AP is not paying full attention to the report Accountable2You sends everyday. I visited Porn sites on my phone and my AP is not aware of it as she is not reading the report in details apparently. Cannot blame my AP as she doesn't have the same PIED issue and cannot fully understand my needs.

I am here to start over again. I need to find my AP here because the new AP will be on the same page as me regarding PIED.

Can someone here be my AP please?

thanks a lot!


allforone

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 56
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #53 on: August 21, 2019, 09:39:45 PM »
Again thank you idunno!

Really feel bad after the two relapses, I had a 41 days streak before I relapsed. I will thrilled to be at the 41 days mark now if I didn't let the leash loose!

However, after revisited twice the low life Porn brought me to for these two relapses, I am determined to continue on this journey, I will not allow Porn to control my life!

TJ161

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 5
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #54 on: August 23, 2019, 01:29:01 AM »
How are you doing Allforone? Staying strong? I'm on Day 15 now. So far so good...but I'm still struggling with looking at girls in public...I have to work on that. I'm starting to avoid that second glance now.

bob

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1240
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #55 on: August 23, 2019, 02:45:14 PM »
Allforone,

Please do not beat yourself up. Acknowledge where you want to be and realize you didn't loose those days, you just had a slip.

Can you learn from it? Will it give you new tools to work for you the next time. Remember, that the anger we have within ourselves can easily feed the compulsion to act out. After a fall, I feel bad and I think I know what I can do to feel better. In reality, its a lie. Don't fall into that trap. It will suck you done to the bottom so quick you forget what you've accomplished.

Keep moving forward.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2019, 06:11:56 AM by bob »

allforone

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 56
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #56 on: August 24, 2019, 12:34:36 AM »
Thanks TJ and Bob.

I have found a new AP and started my journey again. Today is Day 1.

What I learned from the relapse :

1.  The addiction to Porn will always be in our mind for a long long time if not forever so i need to really careful to stay far away from the line. The stuff you guys are doing such as the 3 second rule are right. I am not just not sure how to really embrace it yet. It was so hard for me to not look at(stare in fact most of the time) girls.

2.  I will need to try to write a more detailed daily journal to keep my focus.

Let's go!

bob

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1240
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #57 on: August 24, 2019, 06:40:01 AM »
I am trying to embrace the concept of the Three Circles from SAA.

https://saa-recovery.org/literature/three-circles-defining-sexual-sobriety-in-saa/

The premise is that you as an individual define behaviors that fit into three different circles, the inner, middle, and outer. Behavior you must eliminate become a part of your middle circle, and the outer circle behaviors feed your soul. They strengthen you as an individual, make you whole, and give you joy. It's the middle circle contain the tricky behaviors, ones that encourage you to fantasize and explore, drawing you down into those inner circle behaviors. The ones you said you would never do again.

I always thought that those middle circle behaviors were the most important. I believed they were warning signals I would recognize as my descent downward. However, I am beginning to understand that I should concentrate on the outer behaviors. These are the ones that act as a substitutes. These are the ones that give you are reason to live.

White knuckling doesn't work. You have to reinvent yourself to aim for conduct that is productive and truly satisfying.

Again, easy to describe, challenging to accomplish.

Free-man

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 242
    • View Profile
Re: All for one goal: stop PMO for good
« Reply #58 on: August 24, 2019, 11:27:12 AM »
Thanks for sharing your progress bob.
It's very interesting this about the 3 circles. It helps you to visualize your behaviours and your boundaries.
I will try to identify all my triggers and draw the middle circle.
Thanks again and stay strong