Author Topic: Help. Relapsed.  (Read 425 times)

Eswar

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Help. Relapsed.
« on: July 24, 2019, 02:00:01 PM »
Relapsed after 125 days. Then  After 10days. Then again 4days.  Now just after 2days. I'm in the pit all over again.

DoneAtLast

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2019, 08:48:37 PM »
You can do this!  125 days is really good, and you can do it again.  Relapses are awful, but you're fighting it.  Even if your "streaks" don't hit 125 again for a while, just keep trying.  Make sure each relapse is a learning experience about triggers, moods, conditions and everything else, and you'll make progress, little by little.

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2019, 11:24:37 PM »
125 is a dream number for me , I have only made it 25 day streak in my life . Don’t let this relapse weaken you bro . To me with 125 streak you are a role model !

hutch144

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2019, 10:10:37 PM »
you didnt loose the 125 days! thats a phenomenal streak. for over three months you didnt watch any porn. You're going through an elastic effect, where the abstinence was like pulling back the cord further and further so it has come back with vengeance. But you weakened those addictive pathways for sure. Get back on the horse when you can and walk the path. 125 days off porn is inspiring, hats off to you.
Well done.

Eswar

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2019, 10:52:08 AM »
You can do this!  125 days is really good, and you can do it again.  Relapses are awful, but you're fighting it.  Even if your "streaks" don't hit 125 again for a while, just keep trying.  Make sure each relapse is a learning experience about triggers, moods, conditions and everything else, and you'll make progress, little by little.

Thank you so much for your support! It's been a successful month. Getting back to normal.
What's working for me is, getting very busy(bury yourself in work). Even if it's not interesting. Main aim is to make progress- slow and gradual psychological advancement.

WoundedSparrow

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2019, 04:08:21 PM »
First of all, congrats on 125 days. I'd kill to have a streak like that. Second, your experience is a common one. When we relapse, we're giving the brain the dopamine it wants while also lowering our willpower to fight against the urges it brings. It's never easier to fall off the wagon than it is immediately after trying to get back on. But don't see this as a loss. Your brain rewired immensely during those 125 days. 90 days is the standard reboot time. You're healthier now than you were 125 days ago. But it's up to you and the choices you make that will determine whether or not you stay healthy. Getting through the first few weeks sober after a relapse or a binge of relapses is always the hardest. It's like a shark trying to resist a drop of blood when he hasn't eaten in weeks. You've given your brain what it wants and now it's going to want more. The more you feed it, the deeper you'll sink. Treat these next couple of weeks like your life depends on it, because your mental health is certainly going to. Practice what you already know how to do that's gotten you this far. Avoid triggers, exercise, spend time outside, or whatever else you do that kills the urge to PMO. After the first week or two, it should get easier.

mranoym31

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2019, 11:06:19 AM »
You are a inspiration that you've made it to 125 days. Once you relapse, it's the hardest part to get back on track, because your mind will be wanting more dopamine hits. Set your mind straight and be strong.
AUGUST 3RD 2019
AUGUST 26TH 2019

Eswar

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2019, 11:39:23 AM »
First of all, congrats on 125 days. I'd kill to have a streak like that. Second, your experience is a common one. When we relapse, we're giving the brain the dopamine it wants while also lowering our willpower to fight against the urges it brings. It's never easier to fall off the wagon than it is immediately after trying to get back on. But don't see this as a loss. Your brain rewired immensely during those 125 days. 90 days is the standard reboot time. You're healthier now than you were 125 days ago. But it's up to you and the choices you make that will determine whether or not you stay healthy. Getting through the first few weeks sober after a relapse or a binge of relapses is always the hardest. It's like a shark trying to resist a drop of blood when he hasn't eaten in weeks. You've given your brain what it wants and now it's going to want more. The more you feed it, the deeper you'll sink. Treat these next couple of weeks like your life depends on it, because your mental health is certainly going to. Practice what you already know how to do that's gotten you this far. Avoid triggers, exercise, spend time outside, or whatever else you do that kills the urge to PMO. After the first week or two, it should get easier.

Thank you very much for your support. Your words are true.
I hope every new comer here gets to know this. Previously you are fighting an unknown enemy in the dark. The more you read about others experiences the clearer it gets. And soon you'll see every step of that enemy in the dark. Now, you just need to ride the time tide. Each passing day is your armor and you're stronger.

Kenny77

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2019, 11:45:31 AM »
Really sorry to hear of the relapse. What steps did you take to stop for the periods of time before relapsing? Stay strong brother.

Eswar

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2019, 10:46:23 AM »
Really sorry to hear of the relapse. What steps did you take to stop for the periods of time before relapsing? Stay strong brother.

Thank you for your kind words. I didn't followed any steps deliberately. I just developed the intent to stay strong and added things that could help me along the way.

Steps:
1. Got into a job far from my usual conditions. Even though job was hell for me I did it because it healed me by being a big distraction. I did it for about 35-40 days.

2. Before, During that time and since then, stopped myself from paying attention to women. Bare minimum.

3. Only listened and watched non-sexual songs n content. But now-a-days, it not easy. So, when I come across something I don't want accidentally, I drag myself out of there.

4. Read porn addiction success stories. Those gave me painful flashbacks of after relapse effects. And made me feel better about myself.

5. Stopped paying much attention to looks.

6. Overcame weak moments with good meal/ a walk on beach/ non-sexual movie (Avengers endgame occupied my mind for long time.)

7. Tried to avoid spiecy food as much as I can. Also sugar. Too much sugary stuff not good.

8. Yoga. Enough said.

9. Holy persons biographies.

10. One big reason I lasted that long is Gabe Deem. Watched his videos time to time.

I thought I knew everything I needed to after his lectures. That's why I fell after 125, I think. See, On that relapse day, I was very frustrated about something. There were too many negative thoughts. There was no vent.
Your mind knows your weaknesses better than you. It trapped me by offering PMO. I didn't know back then that negative feelings about yourself leads to there.

11. Swami Vivekananda. Read about him.

12. Mahatma Gandhi who used to say: Avoid Looking at Bad,Speaking Bad and Hearing Bad.(The three monkeys).
He's somewhat like us. He struggled while controlling his urges. You'll find that material in a chapter in his Autobiography: My Experiments with Truth.

13. Pray man. No kidding. Just pray to your God or parents or guru or nature.

14. Jordan Peterson also spoke about Porn. Try to watch that in YouTube.

All the best.

« Last Edit: October 14, 2019, 02:52:54 AM by Eswar »

Kenny77

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2019, 10:44:33 PM »
Thanks for getting back. I definitely will try some of these. you definitely will be in my prayers brother! Thanks again, stay strong and i hope to see you on the boards again with much success.

mookie6092

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2019, 03:13:25 PM »
3. Only listened and watched non-sexual songs n content. But now-a-days, it not easy. So, when I come across something I don't want accidentally, I drag myself out of there.

It's really difficult avoiding things with sexual content though, right?

It was only when I was rebooting a few years back that I realised that sex is used to sell literally everything!
Remember the Diet Coke adverts in the 80s with the water running over the guy/girl...remember it vividly and at that age I had no idea why they were made in that way.
You never see ugly people plugging a product.

Well done on 125 days, like 4 months, that's awesome.

I think I went about 200 days, erections came back, though was never sure if it would be ok for real sex as I didn't have any.
I then relapsed once, and was really worried I was back to square one, so avoided anything for a couple of weeks, and erections came back stronger.
That was about 110 days ago.

I'd been using old sexual conversations I'd been having with past girlfriends as stimulation, because whilst erections were fine, I'd find it easier to O with help from them...then 18 days ago I stopped being able to get it up. Was weird, I had an erection no problem during the day, but could not O, then later that night tried again and nothing.
Same since. Worried but trying not to freak too much and just exercising and whatnot.

Guess there are a lot of us on this journey together   ???
Constant over stimulation numbs me.

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Eswar

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Re: Help. Relapsed.
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2019, 11:04:52 AM »
3. Only listened and watched non-sexual songs n content. But now-a-days, it not easy. So, when I come across something I don't want accidentally, I drag myself out of there.

It's really difficult avoiding things with sexual content though, right?

It was only when I was rebooting a few years back that I realised that sex is used to sell literally everything!
Remember the Diet Coke adverts in the 80s with the water running over the guy/girl...remember it vividly and at that age I had no idea why they were made in that way.
You never see ugly people plugging a product.

Well done on 125 days, like 4 months, that's awesome.

I think I went about 200 days, erections came back, though was never sure if it would be ok for real sex as I didn't have any.
I then relapsed once, and was really worried I was back to square one, so avoided anything for a couple of weeks, and erections came back stronger.
That was about 110 days ago.

I'd been using old sexual conversations I'd been having with past girlfriends as stimulation, because whilst erections were fine, I'd find it easier to O with help from them...then 18 days ago I stopped being able to get it up. Was weird, I had an erection no problem during the day, but could not O, then later that night tried again and nothing.
Same since. Worried but trying not to freak too much and just exercising and whatnot.

Guess there are a lot of us on this journey together   ???

Yes, it is indeed difficult. But it has to be done. And practice is the way. First you'll find it hard but after a few times, it's easy to see it as trash and move on.

Thank you for your support. When you understand relapses, it is much easier to moveon because you won't blame yourself completely.

200 days is huge! Well-done. If you did it once, I believe you can definately do it again.

Here, there's always help for those(us) who need it.

All the best.