Author Topic: stepbystep's journal  (Read 762 times)

stepbystep

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stepbystep's journal
« on: July 20, 2019, 04:28:24 PM »
Today, I'm committed to avoiding porn from here on. I've decided that it's not for me because I feel guilty sometimes, and probably it's not healthy, coming from many scientific studies now. I'm not going to claim it's going to change everything in my life, but I think it will at least help me be a better person. These are the things that have helped me in the past. When I feel a temptation or start using, I do a few things to get myself out of it:

- Pray for the obsession to be removed (I'm not a religious person, but it still helps me to pray -- it brings some awareness in me)
- Tell someone about (This could be posting here)
- Help someone in anything (Including posting in others journals or doing something useful in real life)

I have found that I tend to escape porn when I'm frustrated about work or am trying to escape. The best way for me to manage that is to focus back on what I'm doing for work. Or, take a short break like going for a walk or reading a book or reading something interesting.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2019, 07:47:11 PM by stepbystep »
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2019, 07:47:48 PM »
Came here because of a temptation. It's escape from work. Now getting right back to it.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2019, 05:13:32 PM »
Another one of those temptation. I'm frustrated about something I have to finish for work.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

CB

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2019, 03:22:24 PM »
Good thing you’ve decided to kick porn and get a healthy view on sex and living. How’s it going?
Hope you’re keeping in there, temptations are many, and I get them everyday, they’re stronger when we tend to feel bad about something or frustrated.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2019, 09:51:17 PM »
Thanks for dropping by CB! Definitely, I have temptations every day. They are just thoughts. That does not mean I act on them! Today I had quite a few because I was stressed. Feeling a lot better now. Onwards and upwards.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2019, 01:31:37 PM »
I had a setback today and last Wednesday. Last time (Wednesday), I convinced myself that there's nothing wrong with indulging, and I believed it! ;D It's pretty amazing how when I am not horny I can convince myself of anything. Anyway I'm resetting my porn-free date today. I'm still fine with masturbation at most twice a week, but porn has to go. That is what is good for me.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2019, 11:43:45 AM »
Back to day 0. This is a bit frustrating. I just convince myself that porn is for me. But, then when I do it, it just doesn't feel right. It's so fake that it just can't be good for you.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2019, 01:14:10 PM by stepbystep »
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

Pdub

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2019, 11:58:20 AM »
Admitting your have a problem is the first step to recovery.  Talking about it to others also helps.  I've found that this site helps me a lot just to get it out there.

Don't beat yourself up for relapsing.  Quitting PMO is hard to do.  It takes a lot of self-reflection to find your triggers and develop a strategy to make sure you can avoid them or respond to them appropriately.

Keep at it brother.  You'll make it!

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2019, 09:41:43 PM »
Thanks Pdub! Appreciate the support.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2019, 01:29:34 PM »
Just focused on recovery and life.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

green_grass

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2019, 10:42:06 AM »
I think, you should focus on making small positive habits.

I would recommend you to read/ hear the book - Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

Also, you can subscribe to JamesClear newsletter.

More power to you, mate!

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2019, 11:07:53 PM »
Thanks for recommendation! I'll take a look at the book.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #12 on: August 15, 2019, 10:10:42 PM »
The usual. Staying strong. Living life.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2019, 09:36:26 PM »
Nothing to report other than I am just living life. Yes, I've had tempting thoughts, but do I need to act on them? No!!
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

mattdes

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2019, 04:04:08 PM »
Keep going!!! Your username is definitely the key! Get rid of the porn but you need to fill up that free time with a new habit. I joined the gym today. I don't like the gym even though I enjoy exercise. It's social and it's out of the house. Less time to be idle . Maybe take a course. Plenty of online courses but maybe a course where you interact and socialise with new people. It's a great feeling. You are abstaining from something so indulge in something else. Remember the benefits that come with no pmo. People pick up on your good vibes. I've definitely felt that. Anyway keep going man. Relapse isn't failure it's just another hurdle.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2019, 10:42:01 PM »
Today I got carried away by watching a sexualized TV series. I'm no longer watching any sexualized TV shows anymore! I'm going to come up with a list and know exactly what I can watch from here on.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2019, 10:42:21 PM »
Keep going!!! Your username is definitely the key! Get rid of the porn but you need to fill up that free time with a new habit. I joined the gym today. I don't like the gym even though I enjoy exercise. It's social and it's out of the house. Less time to be idle . Maybe take a course. Plenty of online courses but maybe a course where you interact and socialise with new people. It's a great feeling. You are abstaining from something so indulge in something else. Remember the benefits that come with no pmo. People pick up on your good vibes. I've definitely felt that. Anyway keep going man. Relapse isn't failure it's just another hurdle.

Thanks for the encouraging words!
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

Free-man

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2019, 06:52:00 AM »
TV series, movies, adverts, …porn is everywhere, all is sexualized, Maybe we're living in the most sexualized times ever, we have to try to stay our triggers alert on.

Lero

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2019, 07:09:16 AM »
TV series, movies, adverts, …porn is everywhere, all is sexualized, Maybe we're living in the most sexualized times ever, we have to try to stay our triggers alert on.

I agree with this. We would be crazy if we thought that we could avoid triggers completely. That's why we need a strategy to escape their grip. We can't remove all the porn and porn substitutes in this world but we have the choice to stay away from it. We can't dry the ocean but we can get out of the water. They only have control over you if you let them.

Free-man

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2019, 09:46:07 AM »
Yep, I'm agree.
I think time will help us to overcome our triggers and maybe it will allow all our senses work appropriately.
We have to try to change the behaviour when we know something could trigger to us.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2019, 12:41:31 AM »
Thanks for the support. I'm struggling right now. I'm really triggered from middle circling. Coming here to stop that cycle.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

mattdes

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2019, 02:00:24 AM »
Take that cold shower buddy. Get your head into something else . You can do it!

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2019, 11:12:33 PM »
I slipped up today. You know the hardest part of this journey is? It's convincing myself that there is nothing wrong with this. It's not what I want. Moving forward and not giving up.
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

stepbystep

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #23 on: September 05, 2019, 11:24:22 PM »
I don't need porn to live my life. I've decided to give it up completely. I've been mostly using softcore porn, not my old porn habits, for a few years. But, even doesn't need to be a part of my life. Today is a new day and I'm ready to take on that challenge!
Trying to quit since 2004. In recovery since December 2011. Mostly porn-free since August 2012. Completely porn-free since October 10, 2019.

mattdes

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Re: stepbystep's journal
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2019, 12:29:18 AM »
I don't need porn to live my life. I've decided to give it up completely. I've been mostly using softcore porn, not my old porn habits, for a few years. But, even doesn't need to be a part of my life. Today is a new day and I'm ready to take on that challenge!

Well done man!! Do it!