Reboot Nation Forum > Success Stories

10 Years of My Life, and How I Took Back My Destiny

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IAmWhole:
Hey everyone :) I hope you all are having a nice first day of the rest of your lives.

So today I want to share my Reboot story, and hopefully bring some hope and insight to people on a similar journey.

I first tried to stop watching P when I was about 13 years old, after about a year of it. I was completely unaware of any research supporting Rebooting, I simply knew that if I felt as cold, empty, and depressed as I did after masturbating to porn, then I probably shouldn't be doing it.

For years and years though, my longest streak was only 3 days, after which, I would make up for lost time. Even though I knew I wanted to stop, I didn't know how.

Once in high-school I went for a full 2 weeks, and I felt like a f*ing king! It was only 2 weeks, but I was making better grades, improving my chess game noticeably, and had even started dating this girl I thought was amazing.

It was at this time, at 16 years old, I caught a peek of what was on the other side. Pure confidence, bounds of energy, and best of all, real happiness from within (not that fake sh*t you get from other people's approval and material things). But I quickly blew it, and went right back to the old ways, the old me. Porn 6-7 days a week, socially anxious, tired all the time, and super needy with girls. I tried so many different things, but nothing would last longer than a few days.

After barely graduating high school, I went to a 100% admission-rate college, where I only lasted a few months before experiencing debilitating social anxiety that made it seem like I couldn't go to class, or even the grocery store.

It wasn't until I was 19 that I really started seeing lasting results. I was in a really change-oriented point of my life, and I was desperately trying to figure out who I was, and what the hell I was supposed to do with my life. I started expanding my mind with new ideas and concepts, and ultimately was becoming a new person.

During this period, I was able to cut down to an average of once per week. 1 porn session per week! I had no idea why I was able to do this or what was different this time, but I was stoked to be making progress after 7 years of almost daily failures.

Then I started having HUGE streaks. 30 days, 60 days, then 111 days! But I was doing it the wrong way. I had realized that through fasting and very restrictive diets, I could suppress sexual energy much more easily. What I didn't realize at the time, was that this still was not going to lead to success in other areas of life.

After these huge streaks, I would relapse once, then go back to the old 1-2 times a week routine for a while.

Over the years I tried many destructive things, including:


* Fasting
* Restrictive Diets
* Self-harmAnd at the lowest point in my adult life, I seriously considered castration, and even suicide. I figured if I can't even stop touching my wiener, there's no way I'll ever be able to take charge of more complicated areas of my life.

How could I ever control my life's path if I can't control my right hand?

My problem with porn eventually led me to :


* Homelessness
* Extreme Social Anxiety
* Paranoia
* The most painful depression I've ever experienced
* Lose a very rewarding paid internship
* An inability to talk to women
* Erectile Dysfunction at 19 years old
to detail some of the worst.

Eventually, I made the decision that I was either going to stop porn once and for all, or I was going to jump off a building.

I gave myself a time-frame and got to work.

I looked back to the progress I made years earlier that took me from 1 per day to 1 time a week, and I realized something absolutely crucial.

You can't suppress sexual energy. You CAN"T. But you CAN choose how your sexual energy, this purely creative force, is expressed in your life. You can choose to waste it on a couple hours of single-handed lust, or you can build the Great Pyramid of Giza, invent the incandescent light-bulb, and even find the woman of your dreams.

I also realized that your character, your personal identity is like a Rubik's Cube. Imagine porn addiction as a single piece on the Rubik's Cube. You can't move one piece without moving an entire layer of the cube, you can try but it just won't work!

So in this same way, you can't just stop a P or PMO habit without changing a lot of other aspects of yourself, it just won't work.

BTW, this is how so-called "superpowers" work. By moving one piece, you are moving several pieces of your internal character, and who you are as a person.

The key is to find the other aspects of your person that need to change in-order to allow the necessary changes to take place.

As soon as I realized this and started applying it to my struggles, my entire life changed. No longer was I homeless, scared of women, or unable to buy groceries.

No longer was I a failure.

Since that point, I've started a few successful businesses, experienced love with a romantic partner with a depth that I never thought was possible, and ultimately revolutionized my entire life!

My experience of life itself has never felt so deep and full. If I want something, I have the confidence to get it. Money, friends, relationships, love, experiences, you name it.

I finally have control of myself, I finally have control of my destiny!

It's crazy to think back to where I was before. I think back to that time, and I don't even recognize the person I was. I am without a doubt an entirely different person than I was before.

I didn't kill myself. Instead, I gave birth to a new me, a new man

Sometimes I wonder where I would be today if 12 year-old me had been able to quit.

I know there are others with very similar battle scars, many going through the same struggle as I write this. Please know that it does get better, and you are not alone.

You can take your power back, you CAN control your destiny in this life.

Well guys, that's my story. A little disorganized, but there it is!

Hopefully my story can give hope and shorten the struggle for someone.

If you've got any questions, or just want to talk about your situation, shoot me a message! I'm always happy to talk :)

Arthur2:
What other areas of that rubick's cube did you move in order to redirect this sexual energy ? Exercize ? Reading ? Prayer ? Overtime ?

Bo0gYmAn:
I'm so done dealing with this affliction. the worst part is I've made so serious progress and have regressed a little and I hate it. I've tried so much But i wanna thank you. Diet was able to supress your sexual energy, and now that you brought that to my attention, I think it applies to me as well. So i'm gonna get back on my proper diet. Thank you.

Iloveicecream:
How did you deal with weak Moments? how did you deal with cravings?

you are very motivating

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