Author Topic: Hang in there, the best is yet to come  (Read 3360 times)

Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« on: June 28, 2019, 05:38:48 AM »
 I am 20 years old and I first started watching porn for 3 years ago and then luckily i went to a boarding school for one year and there there was no internet so i could not watch it anymore  :). The last year my mother took me out of the boarding and i have had access to internet 24/7 which was not the best thing in my life. Fortunately in the past few weeks i have been coping with not using a telephone and using the computers that are in public places for example in libraries. The back lash of this is that- this may sound crazy but yesterday i had relapsed in a library(first time, there was no one there i was hungry and tired at the same time, not the best situation to be in if your an addict) :-[ . For most of the time i use the internet for about 3 hours, where two hours is for recreational use (anime, comedy shows) ;D, one hour for school work

My goal is to reach 9 days without a relapse (for now) this month the longest day without porn and masterbation has been 7 days which was much more better than last months of having a relapse evry other day.

I hope i will be able to contribute to the community :P 8) ;D

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2019, 06:13:06 PM »
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your positivity around!

9 days sounds like a great goal. I have found the best success when I set a goal that is small but just a little bigger than what I can normally do. If you find yourself relapsing every 7 days or so, a 9 day goal will definitely help you to break that cycle a little. Then maybe you can decide to go for 9 more days!

Take care of yourself, and keep on fighting! We're all in this one together

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2019, 05:42:03 AM »
@BlueHeronFan thank you, I was actually inspired by you, i thought you were doing an AWESOME job here. Stay gold my friend  ;D ;D
Day 2
Today was a victory 8), I realised that i do not get enough sleep and that will be a priority for me today. I woke up and found my eyes were red and this is usally a good sign for me that i am not getting enough sleep that i require :-[.
It is summer so i was a bit triggered by what  women were wearing but i tried to look down as much as possible. I was walking around a lot today, probably because i was bored at home and i wanted to meet up with my friends. I met one of them in the gym and we ended up working out for 30 minutes and the best part is that he said we would meet tomorrow. Just like that i got an accountability partner!!  i had met him before but it was him who took the initiative. I am looking for tomorrow, I think my high point is going to being around him, he brings out the best in me ;D ;D

« Last Edit: June 30, 2019, 05:07:57 AM by Thank you for all that you do for me »

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2019, 05:07:05 AM »
Day3
Today was a victory  8)
I was triggered by an advertisement of a woman in bikini and funny enough that advertisement was in three different places on my out of the supermarket
I soothed my anxiety by going to sleep, it helps me feel less impulsive and angry. One of my symptoms of a relapse is not getting enough sleep. So for now I am doing a good job in making sure i get the enough sleep that i need. :)
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you know.” (Winnie the Pooh – was a very wise bear!)  :) Finding was the BEST part of my day, sometimes when one is busy it is diffult to see what one is accomplishing and rereading this gives me hope and also realize when i am trying something new that i am BRAVE!  :)

achilles heel

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2019, 01:40:32 PM »
My goal is to reach 9 days without a relapse (for now) this month the longest day without porn and masterbation has been 7 days which was much more better than last months of having a relapse evry other day.

Welcome and good luck!  :)

Thanks for your contributions to me and the community!

Setting small goals in the beginning will help you to stay motivated, because the famous "90 days" always seem far away, keep going!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2019, 06:51:32 PM »
Thanks, man! I'm really glad to hear my story is inspiring to you. Who would have thought my story of addiction could ever be inspiring?

More than that, though, I'm glad you're staying committed to your goals! I'm definitely with you in terms of being careful about how you look at girls and what they are or aren't wearing, especially in the summer. Advertisements can also be a real pain. But it's important not to justify looking just because it isn't porn. If it still triggers you, it's dangerous, and you should avoid it. We aren't just cutting out porn, we're cutting out anything that can lead to porn.

3 days is great. Here's to a successful day number 4!

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2019, 05:23:18 AM »
Archilles heel and Blueheronfan, thank you so much, your words mean more than you realize
Day 4
Today was a victory  8)
Had a wet dream and i needed to take a cold shower after, It was in the morning that i was most triggered today but it was quite difficult to stay triggered after a cold shower   :)
To soothe my anxiety i tried to positively talk to myself and encourage myself as much as i could at noon, i felt like giving up but i decided to stand up and go for a walk and that helped sooo much  :)
I might have a chance to play football with some friends so i am really looking forward to that  :)

Non-Dual Adventurer

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2019, 12:56:44 PM »
Hey mate,

Congrats on reaching Day 4! The hardest part is definitely the first 2 weeks, so if you can get this far you can get all the way!
Thank you for your support on my journal.

- Adventurer

achilles heel

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2019, 02:35:06 PM »
If you made it 4 days, you can make it 5. Just go for one more day, step by step!

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2019, 04:36:51 AM »
Thank you for your support Adventurer and achilles heel. It is nice to know that i am not alone  :)
Day 6
Today was a victory  8)
Realized that i am most triggered at noon when i am tired so i am planning to take a nap during the day today  :)
My day has been filled with lots of smiling today, it really helped in soothing with my anxiety  :)
One step closer to my goal, before when i would have reached here i would have given up but i am glad that i am slowly progressing  :)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2019, 06:51:19 PM »
Keep up the good effort! It's awesome that you're recognizing the times of day when you are most triggered. And a nap sounds like a great way to get past the midday urges.

Non-Dual Adventurer

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2019, 01:00:28 PM »
Great job! Naps for me have been a really good way of getting over the urges. Especially if you leave your devices out of the bedroom while you do it. :)

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2019, 06:46:14 AM »
Blueheronfan and Adventurer thank you for your constant support, the world would be a better place if there were more people like you!
Day 7-8
These two days have been a victory  8) The credit should go to the fact that i have been so busy, I had training with my friends in the evening and in the morning i went to see my therapist and during the day i was studying  :)
No shock that boredom is a trigger especially if it is combined with being alone fortunately at around 5-11 pm i spent my time with friends and family, could not think of a better way to end my day  :)
Today i am going to prepare myself to i am going to do next time i am hungry, tired and infront of a computer (this is how i relapsed last time and i want to be prepared this time)

To the wonderful person reading this if all you did today was hold yourself together, I am proud of you  :)

Do or die

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2019, 10:46:25 AM »
Congratulations.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

achilles heel

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2019, 12:43:25 PM »
Being tired is always dangerous as your guards are lowered. Boredom is a result of our new time due to quitting porn and it's our part to fill the blank with real joy. Reading or playing an instrument are great new activities, for example. Sports and going to the gym also.

Don't replace porn by mindless browsing or using the computer in general, because you will be too close to porn. Try to find new, interesting activities and you won't miss social media and mindless browsing!

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2019, 04:56:00 AM »
@achilles heel, I will try reading a book during my free time, I have a book at home and i mainly read it before sleeping so as to be able to sleep but i will also try reading it during the day  :)
Day 9
Today was a victory  8)
Not too much trigger today mainly because i was cooking food for myself for the first time in a long time, in case you want to know what it was, fish and potatoes  :)
I was feeling stressed because of the pressure of needing to cook food on my own but i managed because since i slept on the problem and it helped me to decide what to cook the next morning
It is the end of the week and hopefully i will be able to play football today with my friends  :)

dusty

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2019, 05:50:11 AM »
Good luck mate  :D I see that you're really determined so I'm sure it'll be a successful reboot

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2019, 06:08:24 PM »
Keep at it!

It's a big deal to recognize when you are most vulnerable and to protect yourself against it. If you know that you have a harder time when you are tired or bored, then do what you can to be well rested and to have a plan for your day.

Sometimes being busy can be stressful for me, but it also means that I don't have time in the day for porn. Sometimes, you really need a busy day to get through some difficult urges.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2019, 06:09:16 PM »
Congrats on 9 days! You are off to a great start....keep doing what you're doing, having that balance between self care/work/healthy recreation is key :)

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2019, 06:14:52 AM »
You guys mean a lot more to me than you realize, thank you
Day 10
Today was a victory  8)
I was triggered by the fact that a close friend of mine who was struggling with porn decided to leave. She was a real kind person but i blamed myself for the reason she left. She said she was having some family problems and would not be online any longer. I wanted to watch porn so as to numb myself but then i told a friend what happened (i removed the fact that she and me were both struggling with porn  ;) ) he told me YOU TRIED AND THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH. Those words soothed my heart and helped me move on, most likely i am going to miss her but i know that i tried my best to support her on her journey.
I am really happy that i told my friend what happened without him today would have been a relapse, to my friend thank you for all you have done for me not only just today but all the problems you have listened to me :)

achilles heel

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2019, 08:09:56 AM »
And it's a two digit number of days clean, congratulations! You will have to deal with difficult situation and it was a big success to not fall back into the porn trap to escape. Keep improving!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2019, 06:28:40 PM »
And it's a two digit number of days clean, congratulations! You will have to deal with difficult situation and it was a big success to not fall back into the porn trap to escape. Keep improving!

I want to second that congratulations! Getting through a triggering moment without going back to porn is a big deal. It teaches your brain that you don't need porn to deal with bad feelings. Every time you do that, you learn even better that you don't need porn to cope.

You're trying and that is good enough! Never stop trying. The only way to fail at this is to give up.

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #22 on: July 07, 2019, 05:00:03 AM »
Day 1
Today was a lesson, I am not sure if it was the fact that i had tried so hard at lunch not look at porn or the fact that when i came home i started cooking new food (my mother makes cooking food much more easier than it is) or that i had flashbacks or a combination of all three.
Previously i would enter a cycle of relapsing and spend hours in front of a computer but this time that did not happen  :)
I am happy that i reached my goal of 9 days and even though i feel like i let myself down, that i am failure and a burden to the one reading this i am still progressing  :)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #23 on: July 07, 2019, 05:48:07 PM »
Whenever you learn and then make a change, you are still on track. Finding weaknesses in our strategy and messing up occasionally is all a part of beating addiction.

It's fair to feel like you let yourself down. That's a feeling that will help you to try harder next time, and it's a sign that you're really trying to take care of yourself and live a better life. Don't waste too much time feeling like a failure though, or even like a burden. We're all here to get better, and we're all doing it at our own pace. You're only a burden if you are getting in the way of other people's progress, and that is definitely not something that you are doing.

Keep on going! Maybe the next time is 10 days!

Re: Hang in there, the best is yet to come
« Reply #24 on: July 11, 2019, 05:56:14 AM »
Blueheronfan you are AWESOME! Thank you  :)  ;D
Day 2
Today was a victory
Had some flash backs but instead of using the computer anymore i decided to go home and take a nap instead
Went around the forum and tried to support as many people as i could, that made me happy today  :)