Your flaws will not prevent someone from loving you because everyone on this planet has flaws. Take heart in the knowledge that you are facing your demons and that takes more courage than most people can muster.
But I can proudly report that I haven't been back on the chat sites! I have been very tempted, but every time I think of it I just put my laptop under my bed and pull out a book. I'm still angry at myself for going back, but I'm not surprised and I know why I did. I just need to keep reminding myself that I am valuable for more than my body. Porn definitely doesn't help me remember that.
In the future, I would not tell someone that you are or are not going to be physical (this would appear strange to me if someone told me this); just let nature take its course.
Haha that's not quite how it went. We both agreed that we had moved too fast, and I suggested that we take things slow for a while. Personally, I don't think that's weird.
It repulses me on every level to see women being dishonoured like that, and to watch men act like cruel animals. I cannot wait to be done with porn for good. This addiction makes me think of how meth addicts will claw their own skin off looking for bugs that aren't there. Then they'll sober up and want to get high and do it all again. I feel like I'm clawing out chunks of my brain with this shit, but then I want to do it all again as soon as I'm triggered. Fuck pornography.Seriously, even as I write this, I'm tempted.