Author Topic: Flatline right now  (Read 1919 times)

Lero

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2019, 12:04:25 PM »
Anxiety sucks. I also suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety and panic. Mild OCD too. I don't know if porn created them or if I had them and porn made them worse, or if they have nothing to do with porn. I guess I need to quit porn first and then see what's going on.

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #51 on: August 16, 2019, 09:26:43 AM »
CB

I just saw your post now. Sorry about that. I would have replied sooner had I known.

Yea, sometimes I get wrapped up on which is the chicken and which is the egg for me (did addiction create the disorders, or did they create my addiction). This might sound strange, but just getting caught up in thoughts about this can cause me some pretty intense anxiety. But I think I am getting better about this and other obsessive thoughts. If I abstain from this addiction long enough, I will provide myself with real life data that will give me a good idea about which is the chicken and which is the egg. I just have to learn to live more in the moment so that I don't get overwhelmed by it and blow my chance to experiment and learn more about myself.

Day 55! Which means by now you've passed the two month mark right? That's incredible. The furthest I ever made it was two months. You have a great mindset right now I think. What I remember at that time was things got noticeably better, but because of that I let my guard down. When something hit me at two months (I had a painful and scary physical attack in the middle of the night), I was pushed way out of my comfort zone. I was unprepared and reacted without thinking about the consequences. But it seems like you have this base covered, which means that you are 2/3s there to the coveted 90 days. Keep at it!

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #52 on: August 20, 2019, 10:36:53 AM »
No worries, I’m myself a little on and off right now with writing on here.

I’m at day 62 right now. Urges are still coming and going, irritable and stressed and worried at times. But way easier to not relapse as than during the first few weeks. Taking day by day, trying to live a little more healthy. Not as much junk food and going out running is doing good for me.

Yeah I know about the anxiety stuff too, had some type of light nausea last night when we went to bed. My mind wanted to just pmo, to make the anxiety go away and the nausea feeling. I’m so good at getting stuck in those type of anxiety circuits. Fearing I’ll have light nausea again this night of course. I hope you guys are doing well!

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #53 on: August 21, 2019, 09:36:29 AM »
CB

Sorry to hear about last night. Wish you didn't have to go through that. But you successfully made it through and gave your brain another day to recover and heal.

Good luck with the next day.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #54 on: August 30, 2019, 08:59:30 AM »
I haven’t been in here in a while writing, just reading others post for some encouragement. I’m on day 72 right now, had some really vivid dreams couple days ago and my urges got really bad. But I managed to keep them at bay. I went on to some sites to look at stuff the other day.. not a good idea, it’s like my brain goes in to this compulsive mode straight away, finding myself having impulses to write down those adresses on google to go in for a peek.. I need to get better hold of myself and keep away from just looking at pictures..
Definitely need to work on that.. Otherwise I’m doing well. It’s getting better, but I’m just in the beginning phase of trying to get this addiction under control and quit. This is a good start, just being aware that I don’t have to hide anything feels great!

RayReboot

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #55 on: August 30, 2019, 12:34:56 PM »
Hello new on here,

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #56 on: September 02, 2019, 09:02:05 AM »
Hello! Welcome RayReboot!

I’m on day 75, I went in to a site to have a look.. It’s so stupid. It’s like throwing fuel on a fire.. I’m 15 days away from 90 days. And I haven’t felt the urges as often and strong as before. I know how a relapse feels like and it’s not just worth it.. It will last for seconds and then I’ll feel shameful and bad about myself. I’m always trying to think about the consequences now to keep myself in check. Good thing is I haven’t felt really anxious today. Have a good day guys!

Lero

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #57 on: September 02, 2019, 09:10:03 AM »
Hello! Welcome RayReboot!

I’m on day 75, I went in to a site to have a look.. It’s so stupid. It’s like throwing fuel on a fire.. I’m 15 days away from 90 days. And I haven’t felt the urges as often and strong as before. I know how a relapse feels like and it’s not just worth it.. It will last for seconds and then I’ll feel shameful and bad about myself. I’m always trying to think about the consequences now to keep myself in check. Good thing is I haven’t felt really anxious today. Have a good day guys!

Great, man. Stay away from looking at anything because the shit gets out of control. Every little "insignificant thing" that we think we could handle it easily, has the potential to sabotages us. I know because this is what just happened to me.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #58 on: September 02, 2019, 10:15:42 AM »
Quote
Great, man. Stay away from looking at anything because the shit gets out of control. Every little "insignificant thing" that we think we could handle it easily, has the potential to sabotages us. I know because this is what just happened to me.

Thanks man! You’re totally right! Sorry to hear about your relapse, but you will get there, the only as long as you keep going forward, you’ll get there!
I need to get much better at controling my behavior with how I use the internet.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #59 on: September 12, 2019, 10:12:46 AM »
Day 85

The other day I found some bad sotes to look at, and it all went downhill.. I went on a sexchat site and started chatting ”just for fun” while hungover after a night out. I started writing to someone and after almost 5mins I clicked down the window. I didn’t touch myself and I’m happy about that. But I have been feeling such shame and anxiety and remorse. Just awful.. the last days have been tough, but I’ve managed not to pmo. I can’t keeping looking back.. I just need to take both feet out of the grave If I’m going to make it.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #60 on: September 17, 2019, 09:27:51 AM »
It’s day 90!

Keeping going, I’ve got a long way to go, this is just a stepping stone to sobriety. Since I still get urges and I still get impulses to go look at pictures. Need to cut away these behaviors and it will get easier. But I’m no where near ”healed” I’ll never be healed, I can just stay sober and that is my choice. Can’t believe I got this far from thinking every day to myself.. ”this is the last time i pmo:ed”. For years I did that to myself, the repetitive circle of guilt and shame. I’ll keep continuing to improve myself.

The Unhappy Fapper

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #61 on: September 17, 2019, 12:31:14 PM »
It’s day 90!

Keeping going, I’ve got a long way to go, this is just a stepping stone to sobriety. Since I still get urges and I still get impulses to go look at pictures. Need to cut away these behaviors and it will get easier. But I’m no where near ”healed” I’ll never be healed, I can just stay sober and that is my choice. Can’t believe I got this far from thinking every day to myself.. ”this is the last time i pmo:ed”. For years I did that to myself, the repetitive circle of guilt and shame. I’ll keep continuing to improve myself.

Damn man, congrats on the milestone CB! Glad you have made it so far. I hope you keep your resolve though man because you're an inspiration to the rest of us!

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #62 on: September 18, 2019, 12:15:47 PM »
Thanks man! Trying my best, as I wrote a couple days ago about my ”venture” online in a chat, I’m so disapointed in myself about that. I got to let go entirely from going online and looking at pictures of girls on instagram or facebook.. It’s part of the behavior. Day 92 now.

Atlantis100

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #63 on: September 18, 2019, 05:17:00 PM »
Hi there; I’m on my 5th day of no pmo after a two week binge; I’m wondering if I’m in a flatline period? I have no sexual desire whatsoever; can’t get erection, low energy& motivation, fatigue  usually after 5 days I would be extra horny; is this normal? How long does it last ? I would appreciate anyone’s experience on this subject.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #64 on: September 19, 2019, 04:50:55 AM »
Hi Atlantis100, you could be getting a flatline on day 2 or after a mont or two, it is different for everybody. But it sounds like you’ve got a flatline right now. If you look back in this post you can see I had a flatline for a month before it eventually cleared up. Don’t go and try to pmo just to try if your dick still works, I did that in fear of it being dead. It will take time and we have to be in no rush with this addiction. Trying to stop an addiction takes years.

Day 93 for me right now, had some urges to look at pics yesterday but avoided it.

Lero

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #65 on: September 19, 2019, 06:10:36 AM »
Wow, man! You made it! 90 fucking days, man! This is another success.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #66 on: September 19, 2019, 08:30:33 AM »
Thank you Lero! :)

Jones

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #67 on: September 20, 2019, 08:31:37 PM »
Hi Atlantis100, you could be getting a flatline on day 2 or after a mont or two, it is different for everybody. But it sounds like you’ve got a flatline right now. If you look back in this post you can see I had a flatline for a month before it eventually cleared up. Don’t go and try to pmo just to try if your dick still works, I did that in fear of it being dead. It will take time and we have to be in no rush with this addiction. Trying to stop an addiction takes years.

Day 93 for me right now, had some urges to look at pics yesterday but avoided it.
When you where in the flatline did your dick shrink as in flaccid size? It seems im in a terrible and weird af flatline...i can have sex still but i have zero "sex drive" i just get erections (ive only done it once) and no morning wood but i get nocturnal wood,i sometimes still get massive mood swings its been 317+ days and still no sign of life sexually... Im wondering if ive broken my dick or something. I literally stay up all day and late nights trying to figure out the whole thing.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #68 on: September 21, 2019, 02:02:12 AM »
Hi Jones!

Yes my dick has actually also shrunk, but I guess it is doing what it supposed to do, if your not using it as often it doesn’t have to be ”ready”. I was pmo:ing like 3-10 times a day sometimes and it is just too much.. So I think the thing about it shrinking is just because it doesn’t have to be used that much anymore. We shouldn’t have to worry about that, because that is another thing about porn is the size in guys dicks, and what they’re expected to be in porn damaged society. I too have less sex drive than before, sometimes I wonder why, but it is a long process to let go of a addiction that’s been with me so long. Don’t freak out about your erections and about having sex, it will take time. We have to be patient and not stress things I think, it will eventually clear up as we get used to our sober life and not compare it with how we used to be while using pmo.
Me and my gf haven’t had sex in over a month, but I honestly think it is quite good for me in my rewiring process. Because I get morning woods now, and when we kiss sometimes more intimatly I start to get an erection straight away. And last time we had sex my erection lasted for ever, and it’s never been that way before.

Day 94

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #69 on: September 21, 2019, 04:03:24 PM »
I know days aren't everything, but 94 days is no small feat by any means. Congratulations CB! Your name must stand for Confident Boss because you're showing this addiction what's what.

Have you noticed any consistent changes in your ADHD or OCD? I would love to hear about them if you have.

Wishing the best for you and your partner.

Take care

Lero

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #70 on: September 21, 2019, 05:11:05 PM »
I know days aren't everything, but 94 days is no small feat by any means. Congratulations CB! Your name must stand for Confident Boss because you're showing this addiction what's what.

Have you noticed any consistent changes in your ADHD or OCD? I would love to hear about them if you have.

Wishing the best for you and your partner.

Take care

Damn, man, day 94 this is wow! You know, I've been wondering too if porn made my social anxiety and my OCD get worse, or if it created them. But I guess I will have to quit porn first and then see. It will take some time.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #71 on: September 22, 2019, 07:20:10 AM »
Haha Thanks guys! It feels good to be without the shame, but it is like I have this fear of some day I’m in the mess again. And I still miss it, I think I’m still in the grievance stage of it all. My OCD has been coming at me full force with all types of doubts, intrusive thoughts like. ”Do you really love your gf?” or ”What if I’m really gay because of the loss in libido?” and so on. So it has found a way of feed itself on this. As with my ADHD it is pretty much the same, but I need to get out and workout to keep my worry in check. I noticed since I stopped this my fear of social situations with people I don’t know that much has flared up, like going out for dinners is really distressing at points. I know all of these things are connected to OCD/ADHD/Anxiety in general. But it is better now than it was a year ago. But I still need to work on myself when it comes to the anxiety, and the addiction has really been a part to calming myself and self medicate myself.

Jones

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #72 on: September 22, 2019, 09:42:01 AM »
Hi Jones!

Yes my dick has actually also shrunk, but I guess it is doing what it supposed to do, if your not using it as often it doesn’t have to be ”ready”. I was pmo:ing like 3-10 times a day sometimes and it is just too much.. So I think the thing about it shrinking is just because it doesn’t have to be used that much anymore. We shouldn’t have to worry about that, because that is another thing about porn is the size in guys dicks, and what they’re expected to be in porn damaged society. I too have less sex drive than before, sometimes I wonder why, but it is a long process to let go of a addiction that’s been with me so long. Don’t freak out about your erections and about having sex, it will take time. We have to be patient and not stress things I think, it will eventually clear up as we get used to our sober life and not compare it with how we used to be while using pmo.
Me and my gf haven’t had sex in over a month, but I honestly think it is quite good for me in my rewiring process. Because I get morning woods now, and when we kiss sometimes more intimatly I start to get an erection straight away. And last time we had sex my erection lasted for ever, and it’s never been that way before.

Day 94
I feel fucked up man idk whats wrong with me. Ive never had a girlfriend in my life btw so i definitely need rewiring... Most likely thats what taking place now but if i can manage to get a girl that would be nice. Ive only had sex once n i was super nervous but after that i feel more confident still not approach ed any one yet but soon. My mood swing is bad but yesterday i felt like a God so much energetic and talkative plus increase confidence but at the end of the day i want my damn dick back i cant be happy without this its like i have no purpose i don't even know what it feels like to be loved or needed am such a screwed kid. Its hard man cuz im really impatient...if i want something i need it now im waiting too long now it frustrating and these damn girls are always flirting with me n i cant do shit about that this makes me feel like 0

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #73 on: September 25, 2019, 03:31:30 PM »
Day 98 right now, I’ve had stronger cravings today and have been feeling anxious. Think it’s because I haven’t worked out in over 2 weeks since I’ve been sick.

Jones: Don’t worry too much about the girl part, you’ll get there. Spend time on stuff that makes you feel good and the rest will follow. Don’t worry about the flatline, it has to happen, because our brains are so used to the dopamine overload. It takes time, a lot of time. I’m having days too when I feel like all I want is to pmo, but I know the consequences are not worth it anymore, I’m focusing on things that make me feel good. My dick is also smaller than before.. but it works more than well to have sex with my gf, better than before. So don’t worry about, I know it can be hard but it will get better.

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #74 on: September 25, 2019, 10:58:29 PM »
CB

As always, you're an inspiration. I hope you get well soon.