Author Topic: Flatline right now  (Read 1923 times)

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #75 on: September 26, 2019, 10:28:14 AM »
Thanks Newstart04!

Today has been tough, cravings still high. Get dreams of sex again last couple nights. But I know this is just another phase of the addict in my trying to get a grip.

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #76 on: September 27, 2019, 06:00:31 AM »
CB

Do you think they were just the result of your addicted brain lashing out, or do you think they were triggered by some stimulus?

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #77 on: September 27, 2019, 02:52:52 PM »
I think they might be tougher because I have been home sick and not been out as much. And the addicted me makes up things so ”maybe I could just try one more time, and then I could make it without it?”. You see where the thought patterns are going. :)
It is easier to notice these feelings and cravings are coming on stronger when I’m not having my normal routines. I went out fishing with a friend today and I wasn’t even thinking one minute about it. It felt great! Thanks for asking! I haven’t been active very much in others posts lately and I feel guilt because of that, but I’ll spend more time on here because we help each other out no matter hhow many days with or without pmo we are. take care

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #78 on: September 27, 2019, 04:20:42 PM »
CB

Thank you for answering!

I am glad to hear you were able to recognize that your addicted brain is trying to use its rational center to trick you into relapsing again. I've been getting better at counter-rationalizing my brain during moments like these. It's been working so far.

I hope you were able to catch some fish. Did you cook something afterward?

I hope you don't feel guilty. You really should post as much as you feel comfortable. If that's 100 posts a day, then wow! If it's 0, then that's totally understandable, or at least that's how I view it.

Hope you have another great PMO-free day.

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #79 on: October 11, 2019, 05:04:40 PM »
Day 115

If you as I started to doubt that your PIED is not going away, I can assure you that it will! I thought it wouldn’t go away but this shit works. I have always obsessed about my erection during sex and before sex.. Just need to keep staying away from porn and it will come back. It will take time, and I’m sure I have to let it take time to get better.

NewStart04

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #80 on: October 17, 2019, 01:11:01 AM »
CB

Always an inspiration. Keep on blazing the path forward. I'll be following you in the distance, behind the cloud of road dust you're kicking up while accelerating to recovery.

CB = Clearly the Best at inspiring fellow rebooters in their 30s.

Take care

CB

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Re: Flatline right now
« Reply #81 on: October 18, 2019, 06:28:59 AM »
Thanks for the support! Haha Wow that’s nice of you! It’s actually day 121 now! That’s crazy!
I hope you guys are doing good! It’s a rollercoaster.. Some days have been really hard and I have to admit.. I’ve gone as far as looking at porn maybe two or three times last three weeks. But no pmo, I have been able to get myself out of the ”just take a peek” behavior and refocus on other stuff. This is going to be a long process.. I’m expecting a couple of years before I’ll be calling myself sober, or healthy.

It kicks up a lot of mixed emotions for sure.. feelings from when I was younger. And social anxiety have been coming back more because I don’t have something to supress those feelings with now.
I’m starting to see how other things than sex is really important in a relationship. Taking care of each other and touching and giving each other encouraging words. Loving each other is not like a movie where you are levitating from the ground all the time. It’s about chosing to be with someone you love and care about, everything is not perfect. I feel more calm within myself with that. Before it has been about black/white thinking from my part.  I’m so thankful to being aware about myself.

Have a good friday guys