Author Topic: The damage of what I have done. But am I fully to blame.  (Read 379 times)

Redfire03

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The damage of what I have done. But am I fully to blame.
« on: May 29, 2019, 10:09:47 PM »
Hello everyone I am over a hear into hardmode I dont keep exact track but I am over 400 days hardmode... none the less that is not my reason for posting.  1 year ago the issue ended up being in my belief a culprit for my marriage to end. After a year of drama and delays I seen what my wife had become. I blame myself partially for it. But i have confined into our close friends and open up about the issue and was assure it was not just me. However I know I still played a part. I regret everything with porn... but seeing the woman I love today in our deposition tell me she cheated on me and had a relationship with someone and kept it a secret and then followed by telling she had recently slept with my daughters t ball coach. I am here to tell everyone just stop. This shit is destroying family's and at the end of it all my ex admitted that she had starting viewing porn. Please for the love of your sanity push this out of your life as I have. Because seeing the woman I love go down this road hurts to the core.

aquarius25

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Re: The damage of what I have done. But am I fully to blame.
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2019, 03:29:35 PM »
I am so very sorry for all of the destruction that you and your family are experiencing. It really breaks my heart to hear about families being broken. I am praying for you and your kiddos. I am glad to hear how you have managed to continue to progress in recovery and I really appreciate all of your insight on this forum. I am so very sorry for your hurt. I really hate porn.

Redfire03

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Re: The damage of what I have done. But am I fully to blame.
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2019, 03:54:59 PM »
I wish there was more insight on this 8 years ago when it started for me. It's been a ruff day today knowing about the coach hurt me more than knowing she cheated on me. I have held back all day and wondered how to handle it. I wanted to reach out to her and tell her to stop. But I can not speak to her directly, it's very sad and unfortunate. Just wish things were different and I hate that I let her down. But I think we both just let each other down. I try to stay very active on here for this reason.

GingerSnap

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Re: The damage of what I have done. But am I fully to blame.
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2019, 02:47:58 PM »
You think you viewing porn caused your wife to cheat? If you do then your wrong.  Either shes using it as an excuse to cheat or you are.  It is a mans instinct to blame himself when a woman cheats. I'm sure there were countless red flags that you ignored when you started dating your wife.  You watching porn probably changed the way she saw you and also effected the way you carried yourself.  Dont be so hard on yourself.  Dont blame porn for her cheating.  She made a conscious decision to fuck the T ball coach. 

It's your chance to build a better life for yourself.  Not only are you in the process of rebooting your penis but it's a reset for your entire life.  Dont hate the game. Be better at it.  There is a book called The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.  Its helped countless men including myself to help understand intersexual dynamics.  Hang in there.  Porn messes with our brains more often than not it effects the way we vet women