Reboot Nation Forum > Partners of Rebooters and Addicts

Ex-partner of sex addict trying to move on

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May:
Hi all,

I've never posted here before but wondering if anyone was a former partner of a sex addict and could offer some advice from their experience of moving on. A year post-discovery our relationship broke down, so it's not like it ending was a huge shock in itself, but it's still been stressful for me with having to move house, and pushing back deadlines etc.

I knew the end of the relationship wouldn't mean I'd be fine right away, any break up takes time to get over, and I don't know if it's made worse because I'm really stressed with work at the moment, but I find myself still experiencing the symptoms of 'trauma' I'd been working hard in therapy to combat over the last year. Things like vivid dreams about my ex-partner's addictive behaviours, being triggered because I got honked by some men in a van and it sent my mind into this internal dialogue spiral about objectification of women, porn, sex workers etc. For the time-being I still live a few streets from my ex while he relocates, and earlier I saw a woman walk up his street who I decided looked like his ex, someone who he had inappropriate contact with during our relationship. I even changed direction to watch where she was going for a minute... mad behaviour.

I'm just so upset with myself that I'm still experiencing this anxiety in such a bad way. Maybe I'm just still so stressed with everything that it's getting the better of me. I stopped seeing my therapist because I couldn't afford it, it felt like the right thing to do, and I thought maybe I would try therapy again in the future if I felt I needed to, once I'd given myself some time and space, but two weeks later I'm already thinking I need it!

Has anyone else been through the break up and has any advice for helping move forward? I'm just doing everything I can... eat well, sleep well, exercise etc.

Thank you x

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