Author Topic: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"  (Read 13937 times)

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #775 on: September 13, 2019, 02:20:29 PM »
You choose to relapse, not the addiction. The addiction tries to make you do it but you have the last move. A relapse starts in your mind before you search for P material.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #776 on: September 13, 2019, 05:58:21 PM »
You choose to relapse, not the addiction. The addiction tries to make you do it but you have the last move. A relapse starts in your mind before you search for P material.

Really true. On some level, the problem with addiction is that it messes up our self-control. But at the same time, we're the only one responsible for our own recovery. Things have started to change for me as I have quit feeling helpless and really started taking my own ability to fight this seriously. The choice is ours, no matter how far we've gone.

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #777 on: September 13, 2019, 11:38:40 PM »
You are doing great lero. I am started from today. Please tell me how you fight the urges at night.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #778 on: September 14, 2019, 04:21:28 AM »
You are doing great lero. I am started from today. Please tell me how you fight the urges at night.

You don't have to search for P when you have urges, you know.

Arthur2

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #779 on: September 14, 2019, 04:33:22 AM »
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You are doing great lero. I am started from today. Please tell me how you fight the urges at night

Read benefits report on YBOP. Reading lists of benefits keeps my mind out of the urge.

Or you just have to go through the urge. Breathe deeply. Lay on your back and let it come and go.

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #780 on: September 14, 2019, 04:56:29 AM »
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You are doing great lero. I am started from today. Please tell me how you fight the urges at night

Read benefits report on YBOP. Reading lists of benefits keeps my mind out of the urge.

Or you just have to go through the urge. Breathe deeply. Lay on your back and let it come and go.

Urges are pain. This is the withdrawal and, unfortunately, we will have days that could get quite brutal. Now, sometimes those urges could catch you be surprise and attack you. It could be at 1 AM. You are supposed to sleep cause you wake up at 6 AM but you have a round of crazy urges. What do you do? I'm afraid that you will have to endure it and wait for them to lower their intensity. The addiction tells you that you must search for P material and PMO to relieve the urges but you have to stop to think for a minute a realize that actually you don't have to search for P, you don't have to grab your dick and jerk it, you don't have to do anything. This is the basics of the basics: No matter what happens you stay away from edging/peeking/grabbing your dick. I know, the urges make you feel like you're going crazy. Something like: "Fuck, man! I can't take this anymore! It's killing me! I want to PMO for relief!" I don't know, maybe doing some push up helps? Going to the bathroom to wash your face? Take a cold shower? I've never tried those things late at night but I've had plenty of urges. I didn't do anything and I waited for them to go away and let me sleep. Sometimes I couldn't sleep all night (not because of urges but because I felt like I was plugged into a socket, too much energy, my mind kept talking... Plus bouts of urges of course. But urges shouldn't last for hours on end. They should last minutes and lower their intensity. They re-appear, of course. 

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #781 on: September 14, 2019, 05:20:56 AM »
Day 9 (Deny P)

Day "Nine" is Day "Nein" for P.

« Last Edit: September 14, 2019, 05:22:28 AM by Lero »

Pete McVries

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #782 on: September 14, 2019, 06:38:15 AM »
Der Mann, der den Berg abtrug, war derselbe, der anfing, kleine Steine wegzutragen. Auf geht's! :)
ten months clean and counting...

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #783 on: September 14, 2019, 10:10:27 AM »
Der Mann, der den Berg abtrug, war derselbe, der anfing, kleine Steine wegzutragen. Auf geht's! :)

Damn, man, are you German?

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #784 on: September 14, 2019, 10:27:40 AM »
Thanks lero. Now i have an basic idea to fight my urges at night. From today i will try this things you told. You are at day nine bro. You doing so good.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #785 on: September 14, 2019, 04:14:44 PM »
Thanks lero. Now i have an basic idea to fight my urges at night. From today i will try this things you told. You are at day nine bro. You doing so good.

Good. Find what works for you to deal with urges late at night.

Lero

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Re: Alive but not living because of P
« Reply #786 on: September 15, 2019, 08:04:04 AM »
Day 10

I reached the checkpoint. Now the next one is 2 weeks.

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #787 on: September 15, 2019, 09:59:29 AM »
Good job, man.

Next milestone : 2 weeks.
It is not very far.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #788 on: September 15, 2019, 10:06:51 AM »
Good job, man.

Next milestone : 2 weeks.
It is not very far.

Yes, it's not very far. That's how I like to set my milestones. I've realized that setting a milestone that it's far away (like 30 days, 90 days etc.) was scary and seemed hard to do, but focusing on smaller milestones seemed less hard (a psychological thing, you know what I mean? Mind tricks with myself). Therefore, my milestones are not very far from each other. The next one is 14 days (2 weeks) which is after only 4 days. This last milestone was 10 days which came after 1 week (7 days) which was only 3 days after. I trick myself into believing that I have only a few days to go until the next goal, not tens of days. And it's working. This works for me. Everybody should find what works for them.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #789 on: September 15, 2019, 05:42:55 PM »
Good job, man.

Next milestone : 2 weeks.
It is not very far.

Yes, it's not very far. That's how I like to set my milestones. I've realized that setting a milestone that it's far away (like 30 days, 90 days etc.) was scary and seemed hard to do, but focusing on smaller milestones seemed less hard (a psychological thing, you know what I mean? Mind tricks with myself). Therefore, my milestones are not very far from each other. The next one is 14 days (2 weeks) which is after only 4 days. This last milestone was 10 days which came after 1 week (7 days) which was only 3 days after. I trick myself into believing that I have only a few days to go until the next goal, not tens of days. And it's working. This works for me. Everybody should find what works for them.

That's exactly right! The same strategy has really helped me a lot too. When I first joined here, I thought I was going to go 100 days just like that. I couldn't. I could add up some smaller milestones to get to 100, though. There definitely is something about going through smaller milestones that helps psychologically, and I'm glad it's working for you.

Congrats on 10 days! You can definitely do 4 more!

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #790 on: September 16, 2019, 08:06:33 AM »
Day 1

I relapsed. I made a mistake.

Free-man

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #791 on: September 16, 2019, 09:38:23 AM »
Sorry, what happened Lero?
No matter, get up and start again when you're ready!

achilles heel

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #792 on: September 16, 2019, 11:38:39 AM »
Day 1

I relapsed. I made a mistake.

What happened?

Whatever the mistake may have been: Don't make the same mistake I made and repeat the relapse over and over again. Get up right now and get back on track. Mistakes happen and they are not a complete setback unless you allow them to turn into days of binge.

A single relapse is no reason to panic, just make an emergency plan to avoid further damage. We're here to support you! :)

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #793 on: September 16, 2019, 01:39:20 PM »
Just start again. Its just a part of your recovery. Write down your relapse reason. Learn from it.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #794 on: September 16, 2019, 06:20:26 PM »
Yes, please write down your reason for relapse.
It will be helpful for us also.

Get back on track.

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #795 on: September 16, 2019, 09:16:24 PM »
I can't say much more than everyone else already has. Relapses are part of the learning process.

Making a mistake and slipping up is different from willfully deciding to PMO.

Tomorrow is a new day

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #796 on: September 16, 2019, 10:28:10 PM »
I also relapsed today. My one friend sent me videos of porn. And i fapped to that clips. I warned my friend about this. So for me today is day 0.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #797 on: September 17, 2019, 07:35:09 AM »
Day 2

Starting all over again is annoying. However, I've realized one thing after the last relapse: If I don't binge, I am not as fucked up. I PMOed only once and today I am alright mentally.

First checkpoint is 5 days (because it's in the middle between 1 and 10).
« Last Edit: September 17, 2019, 07:37:20 AM by Lero »

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #798 on: September 17, 2019, 09:33:49 AM »
Lero today i realized that we live with porn only or with our normal happy life. we not live with both. this is impossible. so when you close to relapse just think you need to choose one of two Life OR PMO.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #799 on: September 17, 2019, 06:21:53 PM »
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Starting all over again is annoying. However, I've realized one thing after the last relapse: If I don't binge, I am not as fucked up. I PMOed only once and today I am alright mentally.

Yes, absolutly. And congratulations for not binging.

That is why having a spreadsheet is not necessarily a bad idea. Because you didn t binge, you dont go back to rock bottom 0.

Of course you go back at day 0 but the benefits of your last streak are still here.

However, what i found out is that after a PMO the cravings for that particular scene are gonna be very strong for a few days or even weeks after, ofi dont binge.
Because my brain wanted to "exhaust" that scene to the max, and me not allowing it is unbearable for the brain.