Author Topic: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"  (Read 12544 times)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #450 on: August 11, 2019, 08:27:10 PM »
4) The follow up of MO feels lonely.

You know, I had a very similar thought a few months ago when the MO urge was strong. It just seemed really sad to me to be alone with an erection, so I gave up on the idea of MO and haven't really looked back. I just sort of saw it for what it was, something that had nothing to do with building the kind of relationship I eventually want to have.

Press forward!

rob24

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #451 on: August 11, 2019, 10:06:13 PM »
4) The follow up of MO feels lonely.

You know, I had a very similar thought a few months ago when the MO urge was strong. It just seemed really sad to me to be alone with an erection, so I gave up on the idea of MO and haven't really looked back. I just sort of saw it for what it was, something that had nothing to do with building the kind of relationship I eventually want to have.

Press forward!

I've been getting this urge a lot lately too. What strategies helped? I suppose self-awareness/visualizing long-term goals and then considering your present situation might help, but are there any other strategies that worked? I'm trying to get rid of cues that lead me to MO. Maybe a "no touching my dick at all" pledge would be the most helpful change?



Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #452 on: August 12, 2019, 04:25:29 AM »
You know, I had a very similar thought a few months ago when the MO urge was strong. It just seemed really sad to me to be alone with an erection, so I gave up on the idea of MO and haven't really looked back. I just sort of saw it for what it was, something that had nothing to do with building the kind of relationship I eventually want to have.

Yeah, this is one of the realizations for me too. It makes me feel lonely to engage in a sexual practice all alone. And the chaser effect is annoying, I had to ignore it because it made me feel like another MO would've been great (maybe even a little bit of P), so I don't like it, I will refrain from MO too. I wanted to see how it went but I'm not a fan of it.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #453 on: August 12, 2019, 04:30:05 AM »
I've been getting this urge a lot lately too. What strategies helped? I suppose self-awareness/visualizing long-term goals and then considering your present situation might help, but are there any other strategies that worked? I'm trying to get rid of cues that lead me to MO. Maybe a "no touching my dick at all" pledge would be the most helpful change?

Yesterday I had hard urges and I became fascinating with the idea of having a hard on without watching or thinking about P, as I never do this. After that, I started a MO session that didn't involve any P. Afterward, I thought about it and I'm not a fan of it. The chaser effect is a killer, it's a big push toward binge MO or even looking at P. So it's a little bit of playing with fire too, I guess. I want to go full hard mode, excluding O too (because there is no potential sex on the horizon for a long time).

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #454 on: August 12, 2019, 04:31:41 AM »
I'm impressed you didn't look at P after all that temptation.  You kept posting, talking about it, and trying to deal with it.  Congratulations on getting past such powerful cravings.  Keep going.

Thanks, man. I surprise myself everyday too. It's been 3 weeks of surprise.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #455 on: August 12, 2019, 04:33:54 AM »
Day 22

I haven't had any urges today.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2019, 11:09:45 AM by Lero »

pichaelthompson

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #456 on: August 12, 2019, 02:22:41 PM »
Incredible. You have been through so much shit recently, your brain has changed for the better. Know that there is always this light within you, even in the darkest of times

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #457 on: August 12, 2019, 02:27:12 PM »
Incredible. You have been through so much shit recently, your brain has changed for the better. Know that there is always this light within you, even in the darkest of times

That MO session (without P) from yesterday seems to have emptied me. Yesterday the urges were killing me and today I feel completely asexual. Still 22 days without any P and I'm not going back.

pichaelthompson

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #458 on: August 12, 2019, 02:30:30 PM »
The most important thing is that you have learned from it and are moving on. I wish back when I was experimenting with just MO I could've known better, as eventually I turned back to P. I'm very impressed with your ability to see the desire of P trying to sneak in and shutting it out, even after MO.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #459 on: August 12, 2019, 02:32:13 PM »
The most important thing is that you have learned from it and are moving on. I wish back when I was experimenting with just MO I could've known better, as eventually I turned back to P. I'm very impressed with your ability to see the desire of P trying to sneak in and shutting it out, even after MO.

To tell you the truh, I'm impressed myself. I don't know where it came from but all of a sudden it just started working. But maybe there was nothing "magical" about it, maybe it was just the process coming to the end, adding the last piece that I needed.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #460 on: August 12, 2019, 02:47:55 PM »
A relapse starts earlier in your mind. "Waking up" in the middle of an edging session to "something light" or straight out porn is a consequence of following the craving and searching for porn material. You have to see it coming right from the beginning and say "No" to everything that feeds the addiction. When you have strong urges, it's easy to fall into the trap. "The urges are killing me!" you think and then you look for some porn material to "lower the urges a little bit because something light for 5 minutes won't kill me". This is the wrong step that makes you go rolling all the way down to the bottom. How do you deal with urges? Definitely not by watching porn or looking at porn substitutes. Urges are like a fire that will stay in one place if gas is not thrown on it. It will eventually extinguish itself. This is what I've been doing and it will fail me only if I wanted to, only if I let it. It has no tricks up in its sleeve anymore for me. I know every little thing that the addiction does. I would look at porn material only if I made the decision to. The autopilot doesn't exist anymore. The "trance" is also past. You have complete control on yourself, not your addiction. Urges start but you have the last word whether to feed them or not. Peace. Stay strong. The recovery process doesn't have to be complicated, it's actually the basics that do everything. 

Pete McVries

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #461 on: August 12, 2019, 05:46:12 PM »
Just some food for thought: Why is there no potential sex on the horizon for a long time and what is a long time for you?

Also, congrats on 22 porn free days!
nine months clean and counting...

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #462 on: August 13, 2019, 05:05:19 AM »
Just some food for thought: Why is there no potential sex on the horizon for a long time and what is a long time for you?

Also, congrats on 22 porn free days!

Thanks, man.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #463 on: August 13, 2019, 05:32:52 AM »
Day 23

I have no urges.

Theyoungfool

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #464 on: August 13, 2019, 09:46:01 AM »
You can quit through willpower, I have never relapse since I quit and it's been 200+ days. It's all about your mindset and goals. Visualise MO as being hard and horny alone and ask yourself if that's your end goal. P stopped being fascinating when I visualised it as me MO to two people having sex and it felt creepy as hell.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2019, 09:49:07 AM by Theyoungfool »
If you try, you aim to fail. Do my friend, Do.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #465 on: August 13, 2019, 12:05:35 PM »
Visualise MO as being hard and horny alone and ask yourself if that's your end goal. P stopped being fascinating when I visualised it as me MO to two people having sex and it felt creepy as hell.

I agree with this.

Arthur2

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #466 on: August 13, 2019, 01:19:18 PM »


Quote
A relapse starts earlier in your mind. "Waking up" in the middle of an edging session to "something light" or straight out porn is a consequence of following the craving and searching for porn material. You have to see it coming right from the beginning and say "No" to everything that feeds the addiction. When you have strong urges, it's easy to fall into the trap. "The urges are killing me!" you think and then you look for some porn material to "lower the urges a little bit because something light for 5 minutes won't kill me". This is the wrong step that makes you go rolling all the way down to the bottom. How do you deal with urges? Definitely not by watching porn or looking at porn substitutes. Urges are like a fire that will stay in one place if gas is not thrown on it. It will eventually extinguish itself. This is what I've been doing and it will fail me only if I wanted to, only if I let it. It has no tricks up in its sleeve anymore for me. I know every little thing that the addiction does. I would look at porn material only if I made the decision to. The autopilot doesn't exist anymore. The "trance" is also past. You have complete control on yourself, not your addiction. Urges start but you have the last word whether to feed them or not. Peace. Stay strong. The recovery process doesn't have to be complicated, it's actually the basics that do everything. 

Exactly wat happened to me today ! And has happened to me many times in the past to make me relapse.

I havn't orgasm but i have edged like crazy today at day 11.

I need to let this fire extinguish of itself.





achilles heel

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #467 on: August 13, 2019, 01:45:53 PM »
The chaser effect is a killer, it's a big push toward binge MO or even looking at P.

That's what I meant when I said that complete hard mode is easier. I didn't believe this for years, but actually when making it through incredible cravings without doing anything, the next days are easier - cravings come and go anyway. It's great that you did withstand any urges to watch porn, just keep it that way now and you will make it even further! It's really awesome to watch your progress!

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #468 on: August 13, 2019, 01:55:55 PM »
That's what I meant when I said that complete hard mode is easier. I didn't believe this for years, but actually when making it through incredible cravings without doing anything, the next days are easier - cravings come and go anyway. It's great that you did withstand any urges to watch porn, just keep it that way now and you will make it even further! It's really awesome to watch your progress!

Huge thanks, bro. I appreciate your support.

Yes, I wanted to see if I could masturbate without porn for the first time in my life, because I had never done this, really. I saw that it was possible after I got a hard on without even thinking about porn. I wanted to see if I could use it for days when really brutal urges tortured me, but I didn't like it for the chaser effect so I decided to eliminate it. I had everything under control. No porn. I haven't watched porn deliberately (and any substitute) for 23 days. Now I'm sure hard mode is the way to go for me.

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #469 on: August 13, 2019, 02:13:20 PM »
Exactly wat happened to me today ! And has happened to me many times in the past to make me relapse.

I havn't orgasm but i have edged like crazy today at day 11.

I need to let this fire extinguish of itself.

Edging is a relapse in my book. If you start watching porn and edge, you relapse. You wouldn't edge without porn anyway. I can't see myself jerking my dick for hours without porn.

Pete McVries

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #470 on: August 13, 2019, 06:04:11 PM »
Now I'm sure hard mode is the way to go for me.

That makes me happy.

You didn't answer my questions earlier but what I wanted to point out is that you don't know what the future holds in store for you. When I was close to hundred days clean my libido was so strong that it made me contact women and a few weeks later I started having regular sex.

I can say for sure that if I had been masturbating during thaz time, I wouldn't have messaged N. and never would have had sex with her. Let your (natural) libido fuel your fire. For me, it worked perfectly.
nine months clean and counting...

Lero

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Re: The solution is complete starvation for the addicted pathway
« Reply #471 on: August 14, 2019, 04:00:25 AM »
That makes me happy.

You didn't answer my questions earlier but what I wanted to point out is that you don't know what the future holds in store for you. When I was close to hundred days clean my libido was so strong that it made me contact women and a few weeks later I started having regular sex.

I can say for sure that if I had been masturbating during thaz time, I wouldn't have messaged N. and never would have had sex with her. Let your (natural) libido fuel your fire. For me, it worked perfectly.

That's right, my man.

Lero You are one of the strongest people i know. Keep being you  :)

Lero

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Lero You are one of the strongest people i know. Keep being you  :)

Many thanks, man! I appreciate it.

Lero

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Re: I am not going back to P
« Reply #474 on: August 14, 2019, 09:04:40 AM »
Day 24

I had sleeping problems but I was not tired throughout the day. I had some sporadic minor urges that didn't bother me. P flashbacks tried again to remind me what I was missing. I aim for one month, which is next Wednesday and coincides with three months on this forum.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2019, 09:07:09 AM by Lero »