Author Topic: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"  (Read 28456 times)

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #850 on: September 23, 2019, 01:25:18 PM »
Lero be calm . have Patience. If you relapsed take a deep breath . you just one step away from success. I am also relapsed like this in last month. But i found an relapse prevention method. My method is to focus only on reboot in any case. How the urge strong i am focusing only on reboot. Because i need recovery . so you also don't be frustrated just focus on your recovery.

Thanks, man. Thanks for taking your time to pay attention to me. I appreciate this.

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #851 on: September 23, 2019, 05:44:41 PM »
Day 0 for me a-freakin-gain.

I am more disgusted with P than i ever was.

My hatred for it is increasing with every relapse.

Yes you put it right : we need not depress.

I am not depressed tonight.

I am ENRAGED.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #852 on: September 23, 2019, 08:51:48 PM »
Even with a relapse in the recent past, you are different man than you were when you started here. Don't forget that. It has been awesome to see you learn and grow.

I know that anger and frustration can be motivating, and I know that they are a natural reaction to disappointing yourself with a relapse. But always be careful that you don't turn yourself into your enemy. Be gentle, kind, and understanding with yourself. You didn't relapse because you want to sabotage yourself. You didn't relapse because porn is just too strong. You didn't relapse because you clicked on the wrong website.

When it really comes down to it, you relapsed because there is some unmet need, and porn fills the gap. Maybe, instead of (understandably) raging against porn for getting you again, spend some time reflecting on where in your life you can take better care of yourself. What hurts? What does porn let you escape for a while? For me, recognizing that porn is the wrong kind of medicine for my emotional pain has made a big difference. As I have worked on taking better care of myself, porn just hasn't felt as necessary. I'm finding better ways to cope with the pain when it comes up.

Stay strong! Stay the course! And treat yourself right!

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #853 on: September 23, 2019, 09:01:03 PM »
Thank you, blue heron fan.

Sound words.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #854 on: September 23, 2019, 09:48:05 PM »
Day 0 for me a-freakin-gain.

I am more disgusted with P than i ever was.

My hatred for it is increasing with every relapse.

Yes you put it right : we need not depress.

I am not depressed tonight.

I am ENRAGED.

I feel you, man. I'm in the same boat. I hate how P has become my remedy while knowing that it doesn't heal anything. Some guy said hundreds of years ago something like: "There are worse remedies than the disease". Boom! This is P. P promises a lot and delivers problems. It adds another problem to our problems already. Getting depressed about it won't help us. Because we know why: We self-medicate our problems with P so P will take advantages of our depression. Feeling down is alright for a while, I guess. Even the strongest people have moments of feeling down but feeling down is not depression. Feeling down is not misery. Feeling down means tomorrow we start again. Misery means that we could go on a week of relapses to "self-medicate". Fucking self-medication. If I hate something is self-medication.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #855 on: September 23, 2019, 09:49:52 PM »
Even with a relapse in the recent past, you are different man than you were when you started here. Don't forget that. It has been awesome to see you learn and grow.

I know that anger and frustration can be motivating, and I know that they are a natural reaction to disappointing yourself with a relapse. But always be careful that you don't turn yourself into your enemy. Be gentle, kind, and understanding with yourself. You didn't relapse because you want to sabotage yourself. You didn't relapse because porn is just too strong. You didn't relapse because you clicked on the wrong website.

When it really comes down to it, you relapsed because there is some unmet need, and porn fills the gap. Maybe, instead of (understandably) raging against porn for getting you again, spend some time reflecting on where in your life you can take better care of yourself. What hurts? What does porn let you escape for a while? For me, recognizing that porn is the wrong kind of medicine for my emotional pain has made a big difference. As I have worked on taking better care of myself, porn just hasn't felt as necessary. I'm finding better ways to cope with the pain when it comes up.

Stay strong! Stay the course! And treat yourself right!

Yes, that's right.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #856 on: September 24, 2019, 06:06:15 AM »
Day 0

Maybe I have a problem with partying, drinking and hanging out with the wrong entourage. Like a fucking movie. Hard drinking sessions deplete my dopamine and the next morning I feel low and crave dopamine like it's the fucking antidote.


Free-man

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #857 on: September 24, 2019, 06:28:00 AM »
You need to install porn blockers as I said to Arthur2 and also you need to hate alcohol too and forbid it to yourself. It seems that it's the trigger that lead you to porn.

1. Don't drink anymore since now. Throw all the alcohol to the trash.
2. Install porn blockers in your computers and mobile phone. Write a difficult password in a paper and burn it later to not comeback to unblock them.
3. Be ready to Hard mode
4. Cravings will come (for alcohol firstly, and later for porn = both caused by anxiety) be ready, go out, cook, read, exercise…

It's time to change your destructive behaviours : partying, alcohol and porn.

We're here to support you man.

Do or die

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #858 on: September 24, 2019, 06:52:47 AM »
Day 0

Maybe I have a problem with partying, drinking and hanging out with the wrong entourage. Like a fucking movie. Hard drinking sessions deplete my dopamine and the next morning I feel low and crave dopamine like it's the fucking antidote.
Thats good you are on path again. i am agree what are you saying, i don't drink but as i know all addiction is affects similarly to the brain.
so as you started reboot , try to decrease your drinking frequency till full reboot.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #859 on: September 24, 2019, 09:18:53 AM »
I can't fuck around nomo.

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #860 on: September 24, 2019, 06:50:08 PM »
Quote
I can't fuck around nomo

Yep. Life is serious stuff. Life is to be taken seriously.
Life is all you have. It is not a game. Nobody can afford to fool around, when you actually realize how valuable life is.

Nobody can afford to fool around. You no more than anybody.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #861 on: September 25, 2019, 05:32:32 AM »
Day 1

Fucking day 1, man! How many times will I allow myself to write "day 1" here? I need to invest some urgency in this. No. 1 priority.

Free-man

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #862 on: September 25, 2019, 06:11:22 AM »
That's right!

Today begins your new life man!

To be ready, please read this, it will help you:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/action-or-not-have-you-actually-prepared-for-it.3549/
http://www.covenanteyes.com/2014/02/28/hypofrontality/

Take your time and be prepared for the reboot, make a plan and start from there.
I mean that you have to be ready for the battle, mentally.
Make a plan:

- throw away out the alcohol
- Install porn blockers in your computer and mobile phone and delete porn and hot pics to avoid triggers and relapses
- No facebook, tinder, twitter, pinterest, tumblr…social networks in general. They are bad partners…
- Make a plan when the urges and cravings appears: Exercise, go out for a walk, go to buy food or shopping, cooking new recipes, healthy recipes, go to expositions, to   the library (choose an interesting book to read)…

All my help and support
Cheers!

achilles heel

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #863 on: September 25, 2019, 03:48:38 PM »
Day 0

Maybe I have a problem with partying, drinking and hanging out with the wrong entourage. Like a fucking movie. Hard drinking sessions deplete my dopamine and the next morning I feel low and crave dopamine like it's the fucking antidote.

I can relate a lot to this. First and second week without drinking are easy, but when time advances it feels hard to justify not drinking at least one beer with the friends because, well "You always did, what's wrong?". And after drinking the first, well, why not drink a second one? Then comes the third and control is lost already. Staying home or avoiding the "entourage" feels bad too.

The only thing that works for me is leaving the cell phone far away and make it impossible for me in the night/morning after to have it near me.

Day 1

Fucking day 1, man! How many times will I allow myself to write "day 1" here? I need to invest some urgency in this. No. 1 priority.

I wrote it yesterday and it sucks, but the important thing is to get up once more than falling down. We've got the unbreakable will to change things, beside setbacks and steps in the wrong direction. This whole journey makes us stronger, helps us growing as a person. You're not alone in this and there is hope, just get back on track!

Arthur2

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #864 on: September 25, 2019, 04:32:06 PM »
My best friend back then told me "Arthur (cause my real name is Arthur, not Arthur2), there is something i really appreciate while hanging out with you, is that we can have fun without drinking."

Think about that. I was the only one of his friend who was not drinking. And we had a lot of sober fun. He ended up quiting alcohol altogether. I think he is still abstinent to this day.

(I am not braging here, if i dont drink, it is more an "accident" than a conscious effort on my part. It just happens to be that i dont drink)

WHAT A SHAME THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OF HIS FRIENDS NOT DRINKING !

All the others : were they really his friends ?

And he had a problem with alcohol.

And i am not judging people who drink. But his "friends" were not helping him by drinking with him.
And i am not judging them either.

I am just mad at alcohol. That' s it.

I think it is do or die who has a "friend" that sent him porn on his phone. Wah ! What a good friend you got here !

I hope we can all quit every kind of addiction that is poisoning us.

Do or die

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #865 on: September 25, 2019, 11:13:21 PM »
as you mentioned about my friend arthur2 am trying to reboot my friend also. and that friend is also knows about harms of porn addiction.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #866 on: September 26, 2019, 07:11:34 AM »
Day 2

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #867 on: September 26, 2019, 07:14:37 AM »
I can relate a lot to this. First and second week without drinking are easy, but when time advances it feels hard to justify not drinking at least one beer with the friends because, well "You always did, what's wrong?". And after drinking the first, well, why not drink a second one? Then comes the third and control is lost already. Staying home or avoiding the "entourage" feels bad too.

The only thing that works for me is leaving the cell phone far away and make it impossible for me in the night/morning after to have it near me.

I know. That's what I'm trying to say. But really, I cannot drink anymore. It makes me relapse.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #868 on: September 26, 2019, 07:29:06 AM »
Arthur, it's good to know that your name is not Arthur2  :D I didn't know that before you told me.

Now seriously, I know what you're talking about. Friends who are only friends with you because you drink with them might not really be friends. I had this feeling that I probably had a bad entourage. Friends should still be friends even if you tell them one day: "You know, I don't want to drink anymore for personal reasons." Those friends would probably tell me that I should become a monk.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #869 on: September 26, 2019, 07:49:23 AM »
I wrote it yesterday and it sucks, but the important thing is to get up once more than falling down. We've got the unbreakable will to change things, beside setbacks and steps in the wrong direction. This whole journey makes us stronger, helps us growing as a person. You're not alone in this and there is hope, just get back on track!

It's annoying to write day 1 again and again. The thing is, this fucking brain has a good way of making me "forget" about the misery. I know how the fuck I feel after a relapse but then I "forget" about it. It's just a distant memory. 

Do or die

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #870 on: September 26, 2019, 08:58:15 AM »
You can do it lero. As you suggested me to keep small goals you also start like that.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #871 on: September 26, 2019, 09:46:40 AM »
You can do it lero. As you suggested me to keep small goals you also start like that.

Thanks. You too.

Lero

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #872 on: September 26, 2019, 02:00:01 PM »
You know, I've been thinking today. This will be easier if I just accept the suffering. You see, I rebel against the suffering all the time. I hate suffering, I hate discomfort. This is probably because I always had the self-medication (PMO) ready when discomfort came up. I liked to be numb and feel no emotions. But I realized that it was a matter of: "This is what you need to go through in order for what you want to happen. Do you want to be porn-free? Then suffering needs to happen. No suffering means no porn-free." I hated to think about this. I fucking hated to think that I couldn't be porn-free without suffering. I rejected the suffering, I went against it and the result was that I was still a slave to porn. I could not get rid of porn because I could not accept the fact that I needed to suffer. The moments when I let go and briefly accept the suffering are the moments when I feel that recovery is possible. Then my rejection for the suffering comes back and I feel trapped. I need to work this out. I'm supposed to change my job next month (as long as those motherfuckers won't take too long). I've been waiting for this job for three years. I passed an exam and then they just took too fucking long. I had to work other shit jobs until now. But this new job is what I want and I need some energy, confidence and mood to do well there, I can't be fucking invested in P and do well at the same time. It doesn't work with me. Therefore, I need to get momentum. I need to get at least 2 weeks of hard mode to function better.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #873 on: September 26, 2019, 05:43:02 PM »
You know, I've been thinking today. This will be easier if I just accept the suffering. You see, I rebel against the suffering all the time. I hate suffering, I hate discomfort. This is probably because I always had the self-medication (PMO) ready when discomfort came up. I liked to be numb and feel no emotions. But I realized that it was a matter of: "This is what you need to go through in order for what you want to happen. Do you want to be porn-free? Then suffering needs to happen. No suffering means no porn-free." I hated to think about this. I fucking hated to think that I couldn't be porn-free without suffering. I rejected the suffering, I went against it and the result was that I was still a slave to porn. I could not get rid of porn because I could not accept the fact that I needed to suffer. The moments when I let go and briefly accept the suffering are the moments when I feel that recovery is possible. Then my rejection for the suffering comes back and I feel trapped. I need to work this out. I'm supposed to change my job next month (as long as those motherfuckers won't take too long). I've been waiting for this job for three years. I passed an exam and then they just took too fucking long. I had to work other shit jobs until now. But this new job is what I want and I need some energy, confidence and mood to do well there, I can't be fucking invested in P and do well at the same time. It doesn't work with me. Therefore, I need to get momentum. I need to get at least 2 weeks of hard mode to function better.

A lot of wise thinking here. Learning a new attitude towards suffering and developing new strategies for living with it will go a long way in helping your recovery. That doesn't mean giving up in the face of suffering, but instead accepting it and pressing on to better things rather than just trying to escape from it all.

Keep going and keep up the deep thinking!

Do or die

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Re: "Hard Mode" is the best "Mod"
« Reply #874 on: September 26, 2019, 11:03:24 PM »
This is the very good thing happen here that we get a perfect way of rebooting by relapses. We know our last way is little bit worst. So lero your right a accepting attitude towards suffering is very good for our journey. Keep going lerom
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.