Author Topic: 23yo, just discovered i have PIED.  (Read 113 times)

JJR228

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23yo, just discovered i have PIED.
« on: June 18, 2019, 12:59:04 PM »
I'm a 23yo male, and have only within the last few days realised and accepted that i have PIED. I've been aware of noFap, as well as porn being bad for the brain for around 3 years now, but have never really done any research on it. Anyway, here's my story;



The first time i masturbated was at the age of 12, whilst viewing porn for the first time too, a recipe for disaster when i look back on it. From then on i would watch it continuously throughout my life, and 9 times out of 10 when i masturbate it would be to porn. I never allowed myself to get addicted , as i never developed fetishes or craved harder material. It wasn't a daily thing, but 10 years of use is a long time.



My first sexual experience was at the age of 20, i had been drinking heavily that night and my memory of it is relatively vague, but i can still vision large parts of it now. She made the move and went down on me, i was probably 70% erect, then the time came for me to take control and i lost my hard-on completely whilst entering. I finished her off with my fingers and carried on with my life, i didn't see it as a failure at the time as she was left satisfied and i had finally got to share some sort of sexual experience with a girl. About a week later the same happened again, a girl i'd met that night after drinking, but this time nothing happened at all, no movement at all. I was full of confidence from the week before so knew it couldn't be anxiety and blamed it on the alcohol, which was pretty valid tbh as i had consumed a lot that night. In the next 2/3 years from then to now i have had 3 more experiences with girls, again when drinking. We would be kissing then begin touching each other, but i wouldn't feel a thing down there. To save myself from embarrassment i would say 'We're too drunk, let's not do this' then would fall asleep, in a quick attempt to avoid them discovering i wasn't hard.



I've been living in a bit of a rut since i was around 19, not depressed my any means, but a slight sense of numbness and never really able to enjoy the little things. A general lack of motivation. I told myself that I would eventually get my shit together and start talking to girls more often, as well as interacting much more socially with people in general, but this lifestyle change never really happened. A few months ago i got some serious motivation back for the gym again and have changed my physique drastically, and feel better than ever. It has kick started me to solve all the problems in my life, and is going well so far. But many questions have lingered in my head recently, will this ed happen again? Will it be fine providing i'm sober next time? Do i even want to try or just save myself the embarrassment?



These questions have led me to research noFap and the effects of porn on the brain a lot deeper, and i can now accept that i do in fact have PIED. I think back to the last few years, morning wood is not the same as it was when i was 18/19 or younger, erections without porn are still present but aren't rock solid like they are with porn. The brain fog which is described fits perfectly with what I've felt since the age of 18/19. I've subconsciously created negativity around sex, which is probably why I've tried to avoid it these last few years. Porn has fucked my brain, it's conditioned my body to only feel truly arouse when seeing porn on a computer screen..



Since the age of 20 i only masturbate once or twice a week, with the occasional binge if i'm at home alone , so i guess that's why i never really imagined it could be related to porn. I am currently on day 9 of noFap hardmode, and have no urge to relapse, and don't think that i will. I suspect this is due to the fact i never craved the need for more stimulating porn over the years. The damage is still there, and with 10 years of use from a young age i know the recovery will be more than just doing a 90day reboot. My new found love for sports and living a healthy lifestyle which i had when i was younger will keep me going i'm sure. I have not told anyone about this yet and am not sure if i'm ready to yet, but would appreciate some feedback from the community who have similar stories or want to give me any tips for the months ahead.



I'm fairly new to this but still feel like i can give a couple of useful tips.

- Just because you're not addicted to porn in the way that drug users are addicted, the same effects can still happen with prolonged use.

- Find something to keep you busy during reboot (especially in first few weeks), as this keeps your mind from thinking of the idea of relapsing. Exercise is arguably the best thing for this.

Mrblueberry

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Re: 23yo, just discovered i have PIED.
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2019, 12:23:08 PM »
Yo man, first of all, massive respect to put your story on the forum. It is not easy to recognize an addiction but it is necessary to overcome one. Together we can do this man, i will read your personal story everyday from now one.

I have been busy cancelling porn out for 1 full year, i can't do so but atleast i have minimized my use of porn from around 5 times a weak to 1 time a week. Thereby i have managed to slowly overcome some of my twisted porn categories but its not vanished enterily.

Some tips are:
Don't feel ashamed of your porn use because it is a very bad emotion to deal with. Realize that this can happen to anyone.
Embrace the flatline, it is a natural healing process. Don't check if your dick still can get hard by using porn.
Don't battle against your natural state, if you dont want real sex with a girl because of a flatline, accept it because you will know it goes away.
Don't compare yourself to people who don't have a erectile dysfunction, you will perceive yourself as less if you do so.