Author Topic: I guess every form of refuge has its price  (Read 12619 times)

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #100 on: March 28, 2020, 12:01:01 PM »
Moving along and doing pretty decent, but I haven't had to change things as much as many people.  My employment and family life-at least for now-is reasonably similar as before, for which I am thankful to my Heavenly Father.  Exercise, eating, and sleeping are in proper balance I guess.  Trying to limit, at least somewhat, my internet time usage.

As noted by Joe Panic, the postings and traffic on the over 40 group has been slow as of late.  With most folks at home more now I would have thought there would have been increased action and communication.  Instead, it is otherwise.  Not sure for the reason for the slow down!

If you are struggling, if you are slipping up, if you are floundering and thrashing around in the dumpster-take heart; you don't have to stay in the mire any longer.  Make a new commitment today-right now, and begin to put in some clean time and start feeling good about yourself again.  If you are doing fine, drop a line of encouragement to the weary brethren and keep up the good work!

Take care!

23 Day Clean


   

joepanic

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #101 on: April 04, 2020, 07:53:55 AM »
Good morning Jixu

     How goes your battle   Things are well on my end

   cheers

     POst often it helps me it helps you

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #102 on: April 04, 2020, 08:50:40 AM »
Hi Joe!  I would wish you a great weekend but I guess all the days seem to have merged together lately and they can kind of seem to be the same! I am doing pretty job wise and no one in the family is going crazy yet.  I am maintaining good exercise and eating (mostly) properly and am reducing needless online time.  Thanks for the encouragement, and keep going on your great streak!

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jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #103 on: April 18, 2020, 01:23:10 PM »
Work stress-my main trigger-is arising again.  Some of it is my own fault as I avoid doing the hard and nasty thing first in the morning and then, due to my procrastination, I get discouraged and do even less the next few hours.  I have been doing good, however, in correctly dealing with the stress.  Also, in the midst of everything I am glad to have employ, but I need to up the focus and intensity.  In a bit I am going to go on a run and try to leave some of the stuff behind for awhile.

Keep moving forward and don't quit!

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GottaReboot

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #104 on: April 21, 2020, 05:16:09 PM »
Great work on the 45 days Jixu. I hope to be there in a few weeks myself so far so good.

Rookie

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #105 on: April 21, 2020, 06:09:43 PM »
Only 13 days behind you. Don't let my streak pass yours....

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #106 on: April 23, 2020, 06:31:39 PM »
Thanks GR and Rookie; the way I see it, we are running together!  Let's stay on course and run the race to completion with honor!

BigMog, if you read this-hello!  Hope you are doing okay.

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BigMog

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #107 on: May 01, 2020, 04:14:02 PM »
Hello Jixu!
I’m still here and OK, thanks for the hello. Glad to see you’ve reached the fifty day mark. I hope things are still going well.
I’m on day 30 myself. I had a good streak at the beginning of the year and then stumbled around for a while before getting back on track. I’m still following the program on the app I have and with generally trying to lead a healthier life in every way and regular mindfulness hope I’m gradually turning things around.
Yes, stress at work, especially if I feel I’m failing or have made a fool of myself can be a trigger. Keeping a balance and a perspective is so important. Usually I find the situation isn’t as bad as I thought or I eventually get over it and then it’s a shame if I’ve ruined a good streak for no good reason.
Anyway, best wishes to you. Keep up the good fight.

joepanic

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #108 on: May 02, 2020, 08:27:49 AM »
Hey Jixu

   nice going on 50 days on April 23rd     Hope your still fighting  that will give you about 60 days or so  by now  Let us know how your making out  If you had to start over  were here with you

  cheers

   Post often it helps me it helps you

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #109 on: May 03, 2020, 07:59:27 AM »
 
Joe, thanks, and I really think you hit on something key when you said, "if you had to start over we are here for you."  That is what the forum should be about, encouraging and advising people to keep going after a slip up.  The only failure is stopping the process.

BigMog, it is always nice to hear from you, and I'm glad you are doing good and trekking forward.  The balance and perspective you mentioned are important indeed; this is just one aspect of our lives.  Hope your work (and mine as well !) can be more manageable this Spring. 

Work has been better, and that is a big help to me.  Been working on being patient with others and trying to overlook minor offenses as I probably have many myself.  Lots of stress out there already, don't need to create anymore.   
   
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Leonidas

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #110 on: May 09, 2020, 05:49:05 PM »

Joe, thanks, and I really think you hit on something key when you said, "if you had to start over we are here for you."  That is what the forum should be about, encouraging and advising people to keep going after a slip up.  The only failure is stopping the process.
I second this.  Long periods of silence may mean that one has either succeeded (and no longer need the forum's support) or it can mean one has given up on the goal of completing recovery.  In all this, it may seem (and not necessarily referring to this board) that there may be one-upmanship games running in the background.  Keeping tallies for the sake of being better than the next man.  Or keeping mum about slips because of the imagined fear of backlash: "Oh dear, how could you.. how dare you relapse! This is an outrage! Where is thy self-control?"  Failing only ever occurs when one gives up on a goal that was both feasible and inherently motivating.  Slips may suck but they are not without value... like cues telling us where to course-correct.

joepanic

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #111 on: May 09, 2020, 07:46:53 PM »
Some interesting points  Leonidas  I keep a running tally of days more for my own referance  and have got to the point of not posting every day  just because I dont always want to repeat myself   If I see someone dissapear the thought sometimes does go to  did they relapse  but I dont consider relapse a failure  I like your  idea of them being cues to learn from to change course

  cheers

    Post often it helps me it helps you

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #112 on: May 10, 2020, 03:07:55 PM »
As for the discussion of others posting or being absent, I guess some of it comes down to the fact that we are each on our own path, at least in some manner.  Hard to know what is going on with someone at any given time.  As for me, I just like to see when someone checks in, even if just once in awhile, and thereby confirming they are still in the battle.  It is like the idea of safety in numbers.  Of course, some may have good reasons for moving on, and there is a time when it may come for anyone of us. 

Doing good, and hoping that some of the vague unknown about the virus will subside a bit.  As many have commented on here, I believe exercise is a huge help to our physical and psychological system!  I had recently been unable to run for a couple of weeks and I have now been able to get it going again-it really helps boost the morale. 

Urges and attacks are really becoming increasingly quite infrequent. 

67 Day Clean   

joepanic

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #113 on: May 10, 2020, 06:52:40 PM »
Nice going Jixu

       It seems there is enough guys these days even when they are not on here everyday(I too do not post every day) that there is always a post to read   The conversation is good  and always spomething to learn from it.  And that my friend is why this place is such a powerfull tool in our building of new lives.

     Yes the virus I think is starting to take its toll a little more.  I know our family is starting to feel the strain.  One huge tak away from it is it has really made me rethink my life to a degree.  I am learning so much more on healthy living as well as  everyday living.  How I use my time and resources.  I think I will come out of this experience a better person   Cant say much for my 2 teenaged daughters though  but hey  they are just teenagers

    Cheers  good luck this week

    Post often it helps me it helps you

mr.slurps

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #114 on: May 10, 2020, 07:22:56 PM »
Hi Jix,  Good work!  keep going

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #115 on: May 14, 2020, 02:46:20 PM »
Been hit with some nasty urges out of the blue maybe 3 out of the last 5 days. Today I almost fell into the p-sub trap, which would have doomed me.  Just goes to show that we always have to be vigilant and not take the smooth ride for granted.  A couple of days ago I totally changed my schedule and just got the heck out of dodge and bolted from the house even though it was in the middle of work! The most alarming thing is that I'm not really dealing with anything overly stressful right now-kind of hard to explain!  At any rate, I made it and will make it today as well. 

Joe, I hear you on the strain of having the young people in the home during this time.  They have been upended and have it tough now!  Keep encouraging them, this thing is going to clear.

Mr S, welcome to the journey and stay with it, even if you hit a few bumps along the way.  it is a battle, pure and simple.

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jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #116 on: May 18, 2020, 01:16:58 PM »
Heading to the back of the line after a slip following a 70 day plus streak.  I strongly considered lying about it and just continuing on and pretend it didn't happen but I'll feel a lot better if I come clean.  I had been fighting urges for 3 or 4 days and finally succumbed after a "harmless" start in the wrong direction. No binge, at least that part didn't occur.  I still feel pretty good overall as the directional thrust is forward and the job, family life, and health are holding up pretty decently.  One of my recent deficiencies was neglecting my devotions (mostly reading and praying the Psalms) so I am going to pay more attention to that aspect. 

1 Day Clean 

Leonidas

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #117 on: May 19, 2020, 08:58:26 AM »
Heading to the back of the line after a slip following a 70 day plus streak.  I strongly considered lying about it and just continuing on and pretend it didn't happen but I'll feel a lot better if I come clean.  I had been fighting urges for 3 or 4 days and finally succumbed after a "harmless" start in the wrong direction. No binge, at least that part didn't occur.  I still feel pretty good overall as the directional thrust is forward and the job, family life, and health are holding up pretty decently.  One of my recent deficiencies was neglecting my devotions (mostly reading and praying the Psalms) so I am going to pay more attention to that aspect. 

1 Day Clean 
Interesting take on figuring out reasons for the slip.  In my case, a dry spell in reading (I used to be quite dedicated until about 3 weeks ago) has landed me in strange currents.  Not necessarily more relapses, but it "feels" that way for some reason.  So if the activity you LIKE engaging in is ceased for whatever reason and causes anxiety, then try to answer why you've been less dedicated.  The answers could be as diverse as say: "I've been feeling lazy" to: "I've been wanting to try out this other thing but not sure how to go about it..."

Now as to how to react to the feeling you've identified: ask whether you need to change it.  We're trained to think that such negative feelings are somehow bad and must be eradicated at once.  Stay with them instead.  Let them simmer for a while, watch them evolve.  Most go away on their own but if they regularly revisit, then it's like someone hammering home a message one cannot ignore.  What is that persistent feeling trying to communicate to me?

Joel

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #118 on: May 19, 2020, 09:31:16 AM »
Ice, thanks for the kind words, and Free, that is a good reminder about triggers.

WIP, I was very encouraged by your comment.  Thanks, and thanks as well for your steadfast support and encouragement to the Forum as a whole.

If any of you have recently stumbled, as I did recently, the only option is to get back on track again.  Stay in the battle, no matter what.

4 Day Clean

Inspiring attitude, Jixu

Cheers!

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #119 on: May 20, 2020, 06:48:02 AM »
Hi Leonidas!  Hope you are able to get back on track with your reading!  Reading is one of the best pleasures in life, that is for sure.  As for me, as to why I let a beneficial activity (devotions) decline, some of it is due to laziness and procrastination I'm sure.  Yet, a major reason is also related to the simple fact that prayer (at least for me) is difficult: you need a reasonably quiet setting (or at least a distraction reduced place) and, more importantly, and even more of a challenge, you need to quiet the heart (soul).  Silence is an enemy of modern man, or, is it, man is an enemy of silence?  Probably both are true I guess.  Anyway, today my reading is around Psalm 46, one of my favorites.

Joel, thanks for reminding me of my reminder!   

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joepanic

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #120 on: May 20, 2020, 08:16:35 PM »
Hey Jixu

    good to see your back on the train  look at where things went wrong  and see if there is anything you can take away  so you can be prepared for next time

    Cheers

    Post often it helps me it helps you

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #121 on: May 27, 2020, 08:55:30 AM »
Had a short slip following my slip. 

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Joel

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #122 on: May 27, 2020, 09:32:20 AM »
Totally been there. Really hard to get back on the train after a streak is broken. But the best time the plant a tree is 20 years ago, the 2nd best time is now; let's build on this streak!

jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #123 on: May 28, 2020, 05:26:30 AM »
Joel-thanks, I like the way you put that!  It is useful for other areas of our lives as well. 

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jixu

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Re: I guess every form of refuge has its price
« Reply #124 on: June 04, 2020, 01:30:48 PM »
Not much to report-I guess that is good!  Some difficulties on keeping focused with all the events going on but reasonably pleased with the efforts so far.   Keep going and best wishes to all.

10 Day Clean