Author Topic: 26, mild-heavy use since age 13  (Read 121 times)

Alister92

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26, mild-heavy use since age 13
« on: May 18, 2019, 01:45:44 AM »
My PMO experience began at 13, and straight /solo stuff was enough for a year or 2. Then lesbian stuff and real girls had my attention, which was cool cos I could talk about that with all my mates
P use went down from 17-19 as I had a gf, we broke up, it was messy and porn use got crazy after that, bdsm, gay trans, and it started like that.
At 21 I met the love of my life and we got together and it was great, however..
At 2years in, I got the itch and started watching porn again, infrequently and pretty vanilla,
Then depressive episodes got me down and I withdrew into porn, and use became heavy and highly fetishised again, and I became so ashamed of it that I internalised everything and didn't talk to my partner.
Every time I would get depressed after that I would turn to porn, now my dirty secret, I wasn't able talk to my friends about like I used to as they had grown up(I maybe wrong).
Until a month ago, I lost my job and my partner began to support me financially.
So I was at home alone a lot and PMOing multiple times, hours a day, mostly gay/trans as that was all that worked anymore, so I though I'd act on my porn-related fantasies, and I've never regretted anything more in my life.
I met up with a trans(very fem guy) and tried to let them blow me one day. I didn't last more than 5mins before I gtfo, it was so wrong.
And I tried to clean myself up, no fap, exercise etc but knowing what I'd done I couldn't keep it down so I told my gf what happened.
That was yesterday andim a mess