Author Topic: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions  (Read 151 times)

Fapless_in_Seattle

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Whoa boy, this is going to be a long hard ride.

I always assumed MO was a harmless way to relieve stress and anxiety. Especially since I have greatly reduced my alcohol consumption, and quit smoking (week 13!). But what this new sobriety has shown me, is that PMO is not harmless. And I have not MO'd without P in....longer than I can remember.

Anyhow, I am getting over a cold now, and still under the weather (when it rains, it pours), so I am looking for suggestions for healthy alternatives to PMO that don't require exercise for the next week or two.

Once I am feeling better, I hope to start regular outdoor exercise like hiking. Hmmm, maybe a little cycling, but mostly hiking until the weather warms up enough to get the kayak out on the water.

It's really great that this site exists. Addiction sucks. WE WILL BEAT IT (not literally).

cranm329

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2019, 07:33:51 PM »
Hi Fapless
Glad you're posting here. Sounds strange but you could try qigong for health. Minimal exercise, can be done in or youtdoors, helps breathing (after the cold) and general health, focuses the mind (off PMO) and is free,if you search for it on YouTube (suggest ThinkVitality by Jeffrey Chand) Hope you feel better soon and resist the urge. All the best.

Fapless_in_Seattle

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2019, 08:37:56 PM »
Thanks, Cran. Will check out qigong soon.

GearedForward

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2019, 11:54:23 PM »
What about gaming? Or reading some historical fiction, learning a new indoors hobby or boardgame. Play chess? Documentaries?

NeverFapDeluxe

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2019, 04:32:23 PM »
What kind of healthy coping mechanisms are you doing to help you overcome PMO?

Fapless_in_Seattle

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2019, 04:53:12 PM »
Thanks, Geared. I am also trying to get away from screen time, so I think I am going to get some crossword puzzle books, to whittle away my down time, when PMO can be tempting.

What healthy alternatives am I doing? My lifestyle is fairly healthy, eating-wise, social-wise, and career-wise. Not quite enough outdoor time, but I am finally getting over this cold, and the weather is brightening up/ I am just going cold turkey right now. A bit too much time online, Facebook, this site, and audiophile sites (a hobby of mine). It's  only Day 3 for me.

NeverFapDeluxe

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2019, 05:39:51 PM »
What I personally find interesting is what we think is healthy vs what is actually healthy.

Like, up until recently I was working out three times a week, eating well etc. and I thought I was doing all the right things, but it wasn't until I started meditating that I was finally able to kick the habit. It made me realise how powerful mental health is in terms of trumping everything else, as well as how we can be doing a lot, but if it isn't the right things then we can still find ourselves struggling and getting nowhere.

Definitely, I would suggest actively finding a way to work on your mental health, whether it be perspective exercises or simply meditating.

Fapless_in_Seattle

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2019, 06:07:41 PM »
I agree that the "meditation state" is important, and I would define that as spending some substantial time each day, without words going through one's head.

I am lucky, in that I earn my living as a classical musician, and my time spent playing music, is my meditation state time. For hours a day, my brain and body are highly active (alpha brain waves), and yet I am free of the traps of language.

But I take your point. Mental health is very important. How did you glean that my mental health may not be optimal, from the little I wrote thus far?

NeverFapDeluxe

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Re: New member, Day 2 - "Hi!": suggestions for healthy diversions
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2019, 08:31:46 PM »
I suppose because you don't seem to mention anything in the way of actual mental health strategies, such as relaxing and meditating.

Ultimately, overcoming porn addiction doesn't really have to do with exercising or anything external to us (although definitely, those things help tremendously). At the end of the day, it really is a battle of the mind and when you have your mind in check, everything else will tend to fall in place. At least that's what I learnt from adopting meditation.

But yeah, meditation is definitely a very specific practice. Certainly, while something like music may be relaxing, I wouldn't quite say it's the same as actual meditation, which intends to build the skill of refraining from reaction, whereas music is more about controlling reaction. Definitely, similar concepts, although radically different in practice.