Author Topic: A new beginning  (Read 4244 times)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #150 on: July 12, 2019, 05:45:48 PM »
Awesome stuff! Time flies when you're living life.

I think you're right about how this forum helps you vent and process so that you can go out and live life. That's a great way to think about. Keep it going!

achilles heel

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #151 on: July 13, 2019, 05:56:22 AM »
Congrats on 18 days!  :)

I'm grateful for the opportunity to go out, evolve, and create memorable life experiences....someday without the cloud of PMO hanging over me so aggressively. Yes this journey can feel like a burden, but I refuse to let it prevent me from doing all the things I want to do in life.

Yes! It's important to already build the new life to make the PMO cloud disappear even faster. Every moment can be memorable and while our porn experiences might not be deleted or overwritten, we can push them further away by building new, beautiful memories.

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #152 on: July 15, 2019, 12:49:35 PM »
Had a good weekend, a cousin is visiting so I'm out doing fun things most of the day, not getting much work done.....it's all good though, I'll do as much as I can while he's here and get back to my usual routine later on. Hoping for a good week, hopefully less stressful than the last one lol

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #153 on: July 15, 2019, 07:42:26 PM »
Yes, for sure! Enjoy your time with your cousin!

Re: A new beginning
« Reply #154 on: July 16, 2019, 07:52:56 AM »
You are a lovely person and you matter to me, I hope your day is filled with smiles and laughter with your cousin  ;D

Non-Dual Adventurer

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #155 on: July 17, 2019, 11:10:41 AM »
Have fun bud!

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #156 on: July 17, 2019, 11:21:27 AM »
Thanks everyone! It's been good so far, getting to know my cousin and found out he has ADHD...I've been trying to support him (without pushing him to do anything) by showing him my meditation, and explaining how working out/reading can help my brain be able to learn things on a deeper level. I've got to see the struggle he deals with it on a daily basis, and honestly it inspires me to go out and do everything I set out to do. If he can go to school and function like a normal person with a constant mental illness and never complain, there should be absolutely no reason for me to complain as a healthy person without any mental illness. I have everything I could ask for in this life to continue to push forward and reach my goals, and at the very least I should be grateful and appreciate that every day.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #157 on: July 17, 2019, 06:17:30 PM »
Good stuff!

Everyone has something they have to deal with. It's awesome that you had a good time with your cousin and that you're coming away inspired!

Go get 'em!

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #158 on: July 21, 2019, 12:52:40 PM »
Today I turn 23. Feeling like I'm getting deeper and deeper into the "adult world" while still feeling like a kid alot of the time. This year, I really want to find the best way to combine both sides; really plan and attack my future goals, but do it in a way that is special to me. Growing up doesn't mean you have to lose that part of you that makes you just appreciate life, the world around you, friends and family. Man I sound like a broken record sometimes lol, but that will always be what's most important. My future is determined by how I respond to the environment around me, and sometimes all there is to do is connect with it and get out of your own head. I hope everyone has a great day today :)

squid

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #159 on: July 21, 2019, 05:13:57 PM »
Today I turn 23. Feeling like I'm getting deeper and deeper into the "adult world" while still feeling like a kid alot of the time. This year, I really want to find the best way to combine both sides; really plan and attack my future goals, but do it in a way that is special to me. Growing up doesn't mean you have to lose that part of you that makes you just appreciate life, the world around you, friends and family. Man I sound like a broken record sometimes lol, but that will always be what's most important. My future is determined by how I respond to the environment around me, and sometimes all there is to do is connect with it and get out of your own head. I hope everyone has a great day today :)

Happy Birthday!  You are smart and articulate and I, for one, put my money on you making your goal happen this year.  What is the goal?

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #160 on: July 21, 2019, 11:41:38 PM »
Today I turn 23. Feeling like I'm getting deeper and deeper into the "adult world" while still feeling like a kid alot of the time. This year, I really want to find the best way to combine both sides; really plan and attack my future goals, but do it in a way that is special to me. Growing up doesn't mean you have to lose that part of you that makes you just appreciate life, the world around you, friends and family. Man I sound like a broken record sometimes lol, but that will always be what's most important. My future is determined by how I respond to the environment around me, and sometimes all there is to do is connect with it and get out of your own head. I hope everyone has a great day today :)

Happy birthday! Glad you decided to spend some of it with us!

This is a crazy, transitional time of life. I'm a little further into my 20s, but I still feel it all the time. What an awesome thing to be working on this addiction when our lives are still super flexible and we don't have to be fighting against really set routines.

You're a great support here (made a huge difference for me), and I hope this new year of life is a great one for you!

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #161 on: July 25, 2019, 01:48:15 PM »
Thanks Squid! I have a few goals...obviously beginning with no PMO (my goal is to go an entire year), go on more dates without any expectations, find some time to travel, develop the mindset of a stoic (there's alot behind this lol), either get a full scholarship to a Performance Diploma program for my music/win an orchestra job (or both!), and lose 20 lbs of fat while gaining 10 lbs of muscle. These goals are attainable, but they will take time, and a consistent belief in myself.

Thanks Blueheron! Yeah this is a crazy time, and yeah I should definitely be grateful to not be stuck in an undesirable routine every day....of course sometimes its hard to accomplish everything you want to accomplish but atleast we're doing it with the knowledge that it is preparing us for the future, while teaching us how to enjoy life in a healthy, sustainable way!

So I had a moment of weakness where I kind of got stuck looking at instagram images and other suggestive, non-nude images. I have decided to change course and start to count the days a little bit more actively, so that I have small little checkpoint goals that will encourage me to reach my next small goal. This way I could potentially see the process in the long term while also feeling like I am making tangible progress in the short term, which always has given me a boost in the past. To make it a little fun, I kind of made a story for myself as a professional fighter; I put certain days and dates in my private notes to map out a steady progression in my fighting career; once I get to 120 days, I get the championship belt, once I hit 220, I am the champ champ....this probably sounds stupid to most people lol but I think if I take it a little less seriously and make it seem more like a challenging game, I won't tend to overthink things and question myself all the time. So today is day 1 for me, starting this new progression as a fighter working his way up in the ranks, eventually going for that first belt ;)
« Last Edit: July 25, 2019, 03:58:54 PM by pichaelthompson »

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #162 on: July 26, 2019, 04:01:18 PM »
Day 2: Feeling good, although a bit tired. Planning to do as much work as I can, meditate, run, then eat a healthy dinner. Potentially will be hanging out with some people tn, although not too worried if it doesn't happen.

I've been adopting alot of stoicism techniques, such as journaling (in private as well as on here), viewing myself in the thrid person, thinking about what the ideal version of myself would do in a tough situation, meditating, and reviewing the day and congratulating myself on the things I did well and noting the things I could improve upon. Doing this things I feel will give me alot of confidence down the road, and hopefully I can get into that positive feedback loop of fixing problems -> more confidence, energy and less stress -> fixing more problems.

Lero

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #163 on: July 26, 2019, 04:35:06 PM »
Sounds good, man.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #164 on: July 27, 2019, 06:01:46 PM »
Good deal, man!

I'm sorry to hear about the slip, but I think it's awesome that you recognize it for what it was. You're not overlooking it just because it was non-nude images, and you're taking corrective action. That's awesome!

I do think counting days is a great thing, too. I don't think it really works if it is the goal, like if you're only thinking about reaching a certain number. But it is really helpful, as you say, when it works like a little checkpoint to stay on track. If you are counting days and really thinking about each day as the one that counts, you can live more deliberately and take care of yourself more proactively.

Keep it up!

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #165 on: July 28, 2019, 11:06:26 AM »
Thanks guys! Yeah that's true that I should definitely not think of reaching a number as a certain goal. I guess one of my big goals/checkpoints is to get to a point where I don't feel the needs to count the days at all while still being completely confident in myself to be on top of no PM. For me, I think once I reach 365 days I can let go of counting completely and just live my life, while posting here semi-frequently. Obviously it's a long ways away but I feel really good about this plan and right now feel motivated to stick to it!

I have learned alot by just going through my day and congratulating myself on the things I am doing will and the things I can improve upon. Sometimes all you want is to be a better person than you were yesterday, even if it is such a small change that you don't feel anything, or maybe even feel worse than before. Feelings don't dictate improvement, actions do. And sometimes imporvement just means doin g the same good habits that you did yesterday, making them 1% more solidified in your brain than they used to be. We are all fighters, and it is important to keep building strength in our minds, because the competition only gets tougher the farther we go.

Re: A new beginning
« Reply #166 on: July 28, 2019, 11:19:22 AM »
There is no need of me passing by here , just by what you wrote i cann tell that you are smart, strong and brave  :)
Wishing you all the best my dear friend  :)

achilles heel

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #167 on: July 28, 2019, 11:33:23 AM »
Thanks guys! Yeah that's true that I should definitely not think of reaching a number as a certain goal. I guess one of my big goals/checkpoints is to get to a point where I don't feel the needs to count the days at all while still being completely confident in myself to be on top of no PM. For me, I think once I reach 365 days I can let go of counting completely and just live my life, while posting here semi-frequently. Obviously it's a long ways away but I feel really good about this plan and right now feel motivated to stick to it!

I have learned alot by just going through my day and congratulating myself on the things I am doing will and the things I can improve upon. Sometimes all you want is to be a better person than you were yesterday, even if it is such a small change that you don't feel anything, or maybe even feel worse than before. Feelings don't dictate improvement, actions do. And sometimes imporvement just means doin g the same good habits that you did yesterday, making them 1% more solidified in your brain than they used to be. We are all fighters, and it is important to keep building strength in our minds, because the competition only gets tougher the farther we go.

Looks like you are focusing on positive aspects, this will help a lot to hopefully reach those 365 days. All the best for you!  :)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #168 on: July 28, 2019, 06:51:46 PM »
Sometimes all you want is to be a better person than you were yesterday, even if it is such a small change that you don't feel anything, or maybe even feel worse than before. Feelings don't dictate improvement, actions do. And sometimes imporvement just means doin g the same good habits that you did yesterday, making them 1% more solidified in your brain than they used to be. We are all fighters, and it is important to keep building strength in our minds, because the competition only gets tougher the farther we go.

I love this thought! I like saying that all progress is progress, something really obvious but worth remembering. 1% improvement doesn't seem like much for one day, but 1% improvement over a week or a month or a few years adds up to something huge. It has been really helpful for me to set my sights a little lower for each day while at the same time committing to more consistency over time.

We don't have to fix it all today. But we do have to make progress today. Thanks for the reminder, and keep it up!

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #169 on: July 30, 2019, 09:13:26 PM »
Thanks guys! Another good day today, got alot of sleep and had a nice surge of energy, helping my friend move out and do some other things while also getting some work done with a good workout. I was stressed the last couple of days, but when I had my cheat meal last night I felt alot better...maybe I should diet a little bit less so that there won't be such dramatic highs and lows. Other than that, I'm feeling mentally strong but won't take anything for granted. On to day 6!

squid

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #170 on: July 30, 2019, 09:26:33 PM »
Thanks guys! Another good day today, got alot of sleep and had a nice surge of energy, helping my friend move out and do some other things while also getting some work done with a good workout. I was stressed the last couple of days, but when I had my cheat meal last night I felt alot better...maybe I should diet a little bit less so that there won't be such dramatic highs and lows. Other than that, I'm feeling mentally strong but won't take anything for granted. On to day 6!

Nice dude!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #171 on: July 31, 2019, 06:32:30 PM »
Thanks guys! Another good day today, got alot of sleep and had a nice surge of energy, helping my friend move out and do some other things while also getting some work done with a good workout. I was stressed the last couple of days, but when I had my cheat meal last night I felt alot better...maybe I should diet a little bit less so that there won't be such dramatic highs and lows. Other than that, I'm feeling mentally strong but won't take anything for granted. On to day 6!

Sounds great! Glad you're doing well.

I recently became a big supporter of the cheat meal. I've been really careful about my diet lately (I have plenty weight to lose) but I got stuck and wasn't losing weight. Then I started "cheating" on the weekends, and I busted through that plateau. There's definitely something to taking a more caring approach to any self-improvement project.

(Plus keeping yourself well-fed and not hangry is probably a good defense against relapses anyway!) Have a great day 6!

Re: A new beginning
« Reply #172 on: August 01, 2019, 09:02:20 AM »
 You are more than capable to have a great day 6 it
You are braver than you believe stronger than you seem and smarter than you think and loved more than you know.

pichaelthompson

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #173 on: August 01, 2019, 04:36:10 PM »
I really appreciate yall's support :) without getting too carried away with this, getting such great comments on my forum gives me that extra boost of positive energy that makes my day just a little bit more enjoyable!

Yeah I think I'm gunna do 2 cheat meals a week, 1 in the middle and one on the weekend...as long as my workouts and diet outside are going well like they have been. Sometimes you just need that small relief to get you through the end of the week and finish strong.

Day 6, 7: Another great couple of days (so far), spent most of the day organizing and game-planning for the next 3 weeks before school starts again, I want to go in with a huge amount of positive momentum and motivation. A bit overwhelming seeing everything I want to accomplish in 3 weeks, but I know it is definitely doable if I just take it one day at a time. Also gotta remind myself to not put too much pressure on myself and it's okay to fall a bit short for now, as long as I keep going with positive intentions. I'll always choose that extra sleep over work if it means I am feeling better later on, because when I feel better, I do better.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: A new beginning
« Reply #174 on: August 01, 2019, 06:24:51 PM »
Oh no, don't even remind me that school is starting up again soon, lol!

For real, though, it's awesome that you're getting your game plan squared away. I should take some time to do the same thing in the next couple weeks and make sure that I'm all set up for another school year.

Definitely nothing to be gained with too much pressure. Rest can be just as important (or more important) than being productive. That's not a lesson I've mastered quite yet, but it's something we can probably all work on.

Keep going and keep being awesome!