Author Topic: The slow crave for more  (Read 151 times)

thepornproblem

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The slow crave for more
« on: June 22, 2020, 12:51:17 PM »
Hello, I am a new user on here and am hopeful to some find answers as well as hope for what I am struggling with. I am 21, and have had issues with porn for over a decade. I have taken drastic steps recently to help combat the addiction (internet filtering, deleted apps, counseling, etc) but still seem to see my addiction morphing into something that has more risk attached to it. Since I have no real chance to access internet porn anymore, my urges have been drawn to social media sites and talking to anonymous users sexually when I get any access possible. I create fake accounts and pursue sexual conversations with strangers to fill the void. This scares me because first, that isn't real intimacy at all, and second I know that it is not rational to believe that some of the users are even real. I wanted to throw this thread out there to start the conversation revolving around this type of manifestation within the addiction. For many guys their issues seem to stem with only porn, but mine is different in the fact that I long for sexual affirmation. I know first hand the shame that comes with this, and want to find hope from others. Does anyone else struggle with this? And if so, what steps can be taken to find healing? Thanks.

squid

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Re: The slow crave for more
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2020, 02:27:20 PM »
In my experience you have to move towards something in order to move away from something else.  If you want to move anyway from p and spend all you energy on that but are not moving towards other healthy goals then you are going to get stuck.  Ask the question, what do you want?  How do you get it?  What obstacles are in the way?  How can you connect with other people to help each other?

Stay free my friend,

-squid

Sanders

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Re: The slow crave for more
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2020, 05:18:21 AM »
Hey,

Welcome here, great you've taken the step to come to here. What squid said is right, it's a lot easier to make positive changes and try to work on becoming something or someone than to constantly think of not going back to porn. Having goals and ambitions in mind in this struggle makes it a lot easier! Instead of thinking "I have to do everything NOT to engage in my previous behaviour!" try to think more like "What can I do to lead the life that I really want?".

Do you have goals, ambitions or dreams in your life? Reminding yourself of these will help your progress a lot. For me it was to become porn free, to save my marriage from the brink of divorce, and to be a person I wanted to become for a long time in my life. I keep reminding myself of those things, and I'm trying to work to achieve that. When you're focussing on those, it's easier to see porn or other troubling sexual behaviour as a bump in the road that you no longer need to go back to. In the end, most people here want a partner, to settle down, and a good sex life. They won't just appear, you need to work hard to get those things, and more importantly: to maintain them once you have them.

You can do it man! Hope you can find the energy to get rid of your unwanted behaviours :)