Author Topic: Uk65tantra  (Read 3467 times)

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #50 on: April 18, 2019, 03:25:15 PM »
Day 38: No PM
No time today for anything intimate. No urges or difficult situations including time at the sports centre.
Must get back to tai chi practice. Miss the energising and relaxing effects.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #51 on: April 19, 2019, 05:54:39 PM »
Day 39: No PM
Low mood and  libido again. This recurrent experience is mentioned in AYBOP.  Will be patient.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #52 on: April 20, 2019, 01:38:54 PM »
Day 40: No PM
Weird and disturbing dreams last night. May be due to rewiring. Must remain focussed. Great day otherwise.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2019, 03:25:18 PM by cranm329 »

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #53 on: April 21, 2019, 05:13:01 PM »
Day 41: No PM
Good day. Enjoyed sport this morning. No urges or temptations. This afternoon, I could have misused my tablet. I did not and will not, ever again.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #54 on: April 22, 2019, 02:28:49 PM »
Day 42: No PM
Six weeks. No temptations or urges. Potential trigger on social media. No interest or reaction.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2019, 03:27:55 PM by cranm329 »

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #55 on: April 23, 2019, 02:24:53 PM »
Day 43: No PM
Good day. Wife took router connector to her meeting this morning while I stayed at home. I had my 4G mobile/cellphone but had no temptation to misuse it. Another step in the right direction towards building trust.

workinprogressUK

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #56 on: April 24, 2019, 03:33:22 AM »
Sounds like good progress. Congrats.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #57 on: April 24, 2019, 02:10:23 PM »
Day 44: No PM
Good night and morning. No temptations or urges. Thought for the day: Used to feel that there would be a vacuum in my life without P fixes. Have to try and fill the empty space? Most of the universe is nothing.  No need to fill it; not that that would that be possible.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2019, 04:52:12 PM by cranm329 »

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #58 on: April 25, 2019, 03:31:10 PM »
Day 45: No PM
Half way to the 90 day target. No problems. Had to reassure wife that I was not looking at other people in sports hall. I didn't do it though had a minor trigger. Focused on my friends' activities. As soon as a temptation appears get into the present and be mindful.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #59 on: April 26, 2019, 05:20:16 PM »
Day 46: No PM
Problem free day. Glad to read on here that it gets easier with time. Still have to be ultra vigilant and stay mindful of the present.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #60 on: April 27, 2019, 03:11:46 PM »
Day 47: No PM
Focussed on DIY today. Keep active mentally and physically.
Thanks to all the guys on here who have given helpful advice.

BigMog

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #61 on: April 27, 2019, 03:14:54 PM »
Nice work cranm. Keep strong, keep busy!

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #62 on: April 28, 2019, 02:34:42 PM »
Day 48: No PM
Thanks BigMog. Busy Sunday. Best way to avoid temptations. Have to be really careful. Watched 2001: A Space Odyssey last night. Even a harmless movie contains scenes which, previously, were provocative. The programming goes so deep and, I guess, will take years to rectify. Must ever again reinforce those neural pathways.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #63 on: April 30, 2019, 09:34:55 PM »
Days 49:and 50: No PM
A lot on at present. No inclination to act out. Bad memories still there. Stress, tiredness and boredom are risk factors.

workinprogressUK

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #64 on: May 01, 2019, 08:17:26 AM »
Long may those bad memories stay fresh in your mind!

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #65 on: May 01, 2019, 08:38:14 PM »
Day 51: No PM
Thanks for the support WiPUK. Life is so much better and simpler without the P. So much effort for no real gain...in fact loss. Understand more now what the Divine phrase " The wages of sin is death" really mean. PMO is self abuse; far from the Divine masterplan. All it brings is shame and loss. It is 'sin' against the body which is a precious possession of every man (& woman).I have damaged my eyes, brain and genital system by indulging in years of self harming. Gladly, l am on the road to recovery and living in the unique honour given to each of us.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #66 on: May 03, 2019, 06:34:10 AM »
Day 53: No P.
Been busy. Sport good yesterday without distractions. Woke up hot in night and M. for a few minutes. No P. or fantasy involved so not a relapse. Danger though because the M. habit started with difficulty sleeping a long time ago. Extra vigilance required.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #67 on: May 04, 2019, 07:09:17 PM »
Day 55: No PM
Felt upset this morning after wife asked whether I still had unwanted feelings. She needed reassurance that she is #1 in my life. She is. My messed up brain keeps trying to convince me that I'm still addicted. Technically, according to the experts, I am and will be for ever. Not good enough!. I refuse to accept that idea and the wrong neural pathways that have conditioned my thinking.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #68 on: May 06, 2019, 08:11:38 PM »
8 weeks: No PM
Feeling the benefits of PMO abstinence. Increased energy and libido. Starting to feel 30 years younger and even getting heterosexual urges but these are overshadowed by marital love. Must not get derailed by lust.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2019, 08:21:34 PM by cranm329 »

jixu

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #69 on: May 07, 2019, 04:45:50 AM »

Great job on the steady road to 8 weeks already.  Like what you said about marital love.  Keep vigilant!

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #70 on: May 10, 2019, 09:09:16 PM »
Day 60: No PM
The combination of marital openness, tantric-style sex, mindfulness, tai chi, focussed exercise and honouring myself and others* has helped get me this far. The urges and temptations are definitely less severe than first 30 days. Bring on the next 30.
*Includes porn exhibitors by not watching them.

Cstan98

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #71 on: May 10, 2019, 09:39:45 PM »
Keep pushing Jedi!!!

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #72 on: May 13, 2019, 10:55:12 AM »
Day 63: No PM
Keeping busy. Any remnants of PIED seem to have gone. Discoverd that watermelon juice seems to enhance E. Must be citrulline induced nitric oxide generation. Almost same feeling as taking V. which I tried briefly last year. May be all mind over body; whatever, it is good to feel physically 'normal' again and certainly boosts my self-esteem. Beware of over-confidence.

lyon03

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #73 on: May 13, 2019, 02:30:18 PM »
Congrats on 2+ months porn-free! I'm rooting for you brother.

cranm329

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Re: Uk65tantra
« Reply #74 on: May 13, 2019, 08:25:33 PM »
Thanks/Merçi lyon03