Author Topic: Exodus  (Read 3189 times)

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #100 on: May 12, 2019, 01:35:58 PM »
56 days clean now. I feel pretty good today, no temptation to look at porn. I am just relaxing today, watching "Dexter" on Netflix. I know now that it is possible to be cured from an addiction to porn. I prayed a lot about it, became desperate enough to the point where I reallly wanted to quit and found this site. My heart has been changed, I care more about people now and want to do what I can to help others.

Rex

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #101 on: May 13, 2019, 09:37:46 AM »
56 days clean now. I feel pretty good today, no temptation to look at porn. I am just relaxing today, watching "Dexter" on Netflix. I know now that it is possible to be cured from an addiction to porn. I prayed a lot about it, became desperate enough to the point where I reallly wanted to quit and found this site. My heart has been changed, I care more about people now and want to do what I can to help others.

MosesY,

You are doing great, keep up the great work!  As you progress it's going to get easier!

From my experience, a word of caution about the cable TV programs like Dexter, Sopranos, etc., they have nudity and very strong sexual themes in some of the episodes.  It's easy when watching these to rationalize that you'll cover your eyes during those parts or not pay attention however this stuff does enter into the subconscious and can lead to a fall to PMO.  In the past when I would be on a reboot these programs and movies would sow the seeds for a fall for me.  When I finally went clean for good last fall, I stopped watching these type of shows and movies and have been more careful with what I watch on TV and the Cable TV networks, it's kept me out of trouble and clean.

Keep up the great work!
Rex
________________________________

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #102 on: May 13, 2019, 10:45:28 PM »
Rex, I totally understand what you are talking about and feel the same way. I am thinking about cancelling my Netflix account and going with PureFlix.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #103 on: May 14, 2019, 04:15:36 AM »
57 days clean now, almost 60 days. I have no desire to look at porn now. I think if I continue realizing what it does to me and how much better I am without it then I will never again struggle with it. Part of that is to continue checking in here and posting in my journal, a frequent reminder of where I was and how far I have come. I am struggling with some psychosis right now, it seems to be more prevalent with the DeltaFosB wearing off and I am going to see my doctor today to see if I can't change my medication.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #104 on: May 18, 2019, 04:02:56 PM »
62 days clean now. I canceled my Netflix account and signed up for Pure Flix. Plenty of good stuff on there to watch. I had a very good day today, found a nice lantern. I have no urge to look at porn. I have a lantern to work on next weekend now that will keep me busy over the 3 day weekend, no time to snoop around the internet.

cranm329

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #105 on: May 18, 2019, 07:48:43 PM »
Well done. Enjoy doing the lantern. I have a kerosene Coleman and love it. Beautiful light.

workinprogressUK

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #106 on: May 22, 2019, 09:33:25 AM »
Congrats, MosesY! You had to fight so hard in the early days, but things seem to be coming together for you now.
I guess the "just a little peak" thing is a common form of cognitive distortion that our automatic/chimp brain pitches in, as a way of getting its easy fix again.... justification (you've earned it by doing so well) and minimisation (it's not actually going to do any harm). Well done for recognising that for what it is!

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #107 on: May 30, 2019, 04:58:55 AM »
My journal was locked with no explanation so I am beginning another one. I am free from porn for 70 days now, getting close to my 90 day goal. I am noticing changes in my body now, I am more sensitive to women. Socially I am doing better also, I called and talked to a couple friends today and I sat and smoked a cigar out in the garage with my roommate. I am working on rebuilding a lantern this weekend and plan on using some of my Coleman stoves and oven tomorrow to cook a steak. Overall a great weekend and feeling great.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #108 on: May 30, 2019, 05:00:33 AM »
72 days free from porn. I had a great weekend. I found my birth certificate, I had been looking for it a while, it was in an envelope with a different label. Thrilled to have found that. I am only 18 days away from my 90 day goal, a little over 2 weeks yet. WHen I reach that goal I am going to have a major celebration.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #109 on: May 30, 2019, 05:01:22 AM »
I am close to 73 days free from porn now. I was reading some about the link between porn and mental health. Watching porn reduces the mount of pleasure I have in other areas of life thus causing things such as depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. Really amazing how much it affects me. Suicide is so frequent that it is the tenth leading cause of death in the US. Every year almost 45,000 people choose to end there life. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in people under the age of 34. I wonder how much suicide would be eliminated if we eliminated porn?

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #110 on: May 30, 2019, 05:05:28 AM »
My journal was unlocked for some reason so I am continuing with the original journal.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #111 on: May 31, 2019, 01:41:58 AM »
74 days clean now, 71 with no alcohol. I have no urge to look at porn this morning, none. I am picking up two lanterns after work today and will work on them this weekend. One of them doesn't need anything it is ike new but the other will need a complete tear down probably.

Here is a before & after of a lantern I refurbished last weekend.




workinprogressUK

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #112 on: May 31, 2019, 06:45:11 AM »
Congrats on continuing to make great progress. Lantern looks good! So important to have interests in the real world to keep ourselves present and focused. Have a great weekend!

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #113 on: June 01, 2019, 03:09:10 AM »
75 days clean now, only 15 to go. No urge to look at porn this morning. Today I am working on a couple lanterns and making a few more videos for my channel. I have some videos on the famous site but my first videos are very amateur. I am slowly getting better. Yesterday I put an app on my phone to edit video, maybe these will be better.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #114 on: June 02, 2019, 03:18:09 AM »
76 days clean now, 2 weeks to go. I am making a few videos today with my Coleman appliances.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #115 on: June 07, 2019, 02:39:56 AM »
I am 81 days porn free now. This weekend I have to work Saturday morning, plan on working on a lantern in the afternoon and writing a letter to a pen pal.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #116 on: June 09, 2019, 03:11:08 AM »
83 days clean now. I have a strong urge to look at porn this morning but I will resist. I am writing a letter to a pen pal. Later on today I will light some of my lanterns, smoke a cigar, and drink nonalcoholic beer.

BigMog

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #117 on: June 09, 2019, 03:31:12 AM »
Well done Moses. Stay strong and enjoy the good, wholesome things in life. A letter, lanterns, cigars and beer seem good to me.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #118 on: June 11, 2019, 01:19:08 AM »
I am 85 days free from porn now. Sunday will be 90 days. Hard to believe, that went very fast. I used to get drunk every night and look at chat rooms and isolating myself. I could not have done it without God's help. Some things that also helped are my journal here and the counter on my phone. I plan on celebrating Sunday. I feel very good about myself right now.

cranm329

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #119 on: June 11, 2019, 07:47:18 AM »
Well done, Moses. Great achievement.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #120 on: June 12, 2019, 02:13:54 AM »
Thanks for the encouragement. I am 86 days clean now.

newday

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #121 on: June 13, 2019, 09:21:33 AM »
Hi MosesY,

I just read your posts....really glad you are here.
One day at a time....sometimes one moment at a time...this can be overcome. You can do this.
For me, part of the biggest help I have gotten has been just getting outside my own head and my own thoughts, and connecting with other people in a meaningful way. So, I wanted to let you know that it's good to see you here fighting back against the addiction.

NGU

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #122 on: June 14, 2019, 12:28:22 AM »
I appreciate the encouragement. Sunday I wil celebrate 90 days freedom from porn and 86 days freedom from alcohol. An old girlfriend messaged me today and sent me a friend request saying she forgives me. I hope to be able to talk things over with her and gradually over a period of time possibly get back together. The timing is really amazing; 90 days freedom from porn and contact with an old girlfriend on the same weekend.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #123 on: June 15, 2019, 05:05:05 AM »
Today is day 89. I went from visiting a porn site every day to almost 90 days freedom from porn. It would not have been possible without God changing my heart and I give Him the glory for that. Today I am doing laundry and grocery shopping then the rest of the day is for relaxing. I have an old Coleman iron I plan on messing around with today and I have the lantern that was my dad's lantern I plan on lighting today and tomorrow in honor of my father.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #124 on: June 16, 2019, 02:46:06 AM »
Today is 90 days freedom from porn. Could not have done this without God's work in my heart, the book "Your Brain on Porn", and the help I received on this site.