Author Topic: Shemale Addiction  (Read 2633 times)

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #75 on: April 15, 2019, 09:28:45 PM »
Day 54:

Had another wet dream last night and it felt good but hurt a little a the same time
Both this dream and the last I can't remember what the dream was about exactly but I know it was porn
And most likely shemale related

I woke up and cleaned up a bit, my shirt and sheets got hit
I went back to sleep and I was still horny but managed not to jack off
When I woke up I was still horny and decided to empty my ballsack
I didn't fantasize about anything I just busted without thinking

Some of you might think this is a relapse and see this as a failure but not jacking off is not the main goal for me here
Quitting porn forever is
I don't wanna bust all over myself every 4 days..
Wet dreams don't seem to clean my balls properly so I will do the maintenance of my sack once a month maybe more if necessary but will keep it to a minimum



username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #76 on: April 18, 2019, 09:05:15 PM »
Day 57:

Shit fucking day
I'm pissed and I wanna strangle someone
I'd like to strangle my boss with a mirror in front of me so I can watch his face while I choke the life outta him
Fucking cunt
I quit today so I'll never see him again

My little brother and his bitch ass girlfriend too can suck my fucking dick
I'm leaving town on Monday so I'll never see them again too
Good fucking thing
I'm getting the fuck outttttt yeaaaaaaaah booiiii
 








Other than that the reboot is doing pretty good

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #77 on: May 16, 2019, 08:15:17 PM »
Day 85:

I live in Alberta now, I just got internet
I don't like how I left things
Sometimes I just feel like deleting angry posts cause its just bad vibes and no one wants that
I never re-read what I write after I post it

But its part of the journey my friends
The reboot ain't smooth sailing for anyone I think

I think my body is more fucked than I realized and its gunna take awhile to reboot but its okay
I don't think about what I'm doing as a reboot or challenge anymore but a new way of living
I'm doing an experience of jacking once a week without porn and so far I don't know if its good or bad
Once I'm comfortable not jacking of a week then I'm gunna do it every 8 days, then 9 days etc...

It feels good to be back on here I got some things I needed to write about


The change of environment has done some good to me and I recommend moving somewhere to anyone who feels stuck in their life



The girls at my job are all either fat or ugly which kinda sucks but I have low libido anyway so fuck me
I'm feeling kinda depressed these days and don't feel like talking to girl anyway


I will try to keep the vibes of this blog positive or neutral at least and will try to vent my anger somewhere else in the future.

Feel free to let me know how your reboot is doing or what kind of reboot you're doing
Thanks for reading

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #78 on: May 17, 2019, 06:48:30 PM »
Day 86:

The success rate of nofap is very low
Stopping jerking off and porn at the same time when like me you've been doing it for more than 15 years is almost impossible
Its like quitting smoking and going on a diet at the same time
Very fucking harddd

That's why I'm trying a new approach right now

I haven't had an urge to watch porn since I stopped cause now I know its bad
I used to believe it was bad and stop believing and came back to porn but now I KNOW

For most people 90 days will not cut it
You will just go back to your old habits and it will all be for nothing
I think for me its going to take at least a couple of years to get back to normal cause I've watched so much fucked up shit



Right now I don't got much motivation to stopping jacking off though
I know it would be best but I don't see the point
I'm depressed and fucked up and don't feel like talking to girls at all
Not to anyone actually

I thought moving was gunna make me feel better but I was wrong
I don't know what can fix my mind anymore, seems like I've tried everything
Now I'm just somewhere nicer but still got a shitty jobs with some cunt ass bosses
Maybe in time I'll feel better, probably not though

If not I'll just move places till I find something I like doing or a girl I like
I just don't wanna die a fucking virgin it would be sad



username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #79 on: May 19, 2019, 09:14:29 PM »
Day 88:

Got fired from my job yesterday
The job gave me a place to stay so I'm gunna be homeless in 2 days
People there were fucking asshole I'm glad to get the fuck out tbh
Gunna head towards the west in search of a new job, and south to the states if I don't find one

This should keep me busy and away from jacking off for a bit so that's a good thing

LeanAndBop

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 111
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #80 on: May 20, 2019, 07:57:06 AM »
Sorry to hear you are in a tough situation. Best of luck. Hope you are alright.

Quitforeverthenwin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 399
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #81 on: May 26, 2019, 05:30:36 PM »
Well, best of luck to you man. Life is not always easy, but at least you are trying and going for it! Abraham Lincoln went through many nervous breakdowns and total failures in life and then we all know what he became. Perhaps you can overcome this stuff and make something great of yourself in the future too!

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #82 on: June 16, 2019, 04:33:54 PM »
Day 115?:

Found a painting job in Vancouver
Been living in my car for a month now and I'm used to it
I'm jacking off less than once a week now so I'm making progress

I find that pretty much all the women in Vancouver are ugly so when I see a girl that's barely attractive I find her really attractive
I think being around ugly women is good for the reboot

I got like 4000 bucks to spend on car repairs so I might need a better paying job soon
I wanna stack enough money to go to south to the states when its start to get cold

Other than that I'm gunna start to get serious about trying to date women and see how it goes
I'm so clueless when it comes to women its a shame
I mean I wanna put in the work but when I talk to women it just sounds so unnatural and fake I don't know how to fix that
If you guys got any tips on dating and shit, feel free to share

Quitforever thanks and yes I believe every challenge makes you stronger and I'm trying to be the stronger motherfucker I can!



LeanAndBop

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 111
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #83 on: June 18, 2019, 11:55:54 AM »
Hey mate
Glad things are looking up
Yeah surely if you talk to more women go on dates it will help you to improve in this area. I'm pretty hopeless too, but all we can do is try to learn and be brave... I think.
All the best

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #84 on: July 03, 2019, 10:16:15 PM »
Day 133:

Job got boring, I'm sexually frustrated alot and can't think about anything else than women
I just want a small girl I can hold and give affection to
Its not even just about sex

Sometimes I see cute 10-12 yrs old girl and I just wanna hold and kiss them
But I try not to look at those girls too long so people don't think I am a pedo

I'm getting so bored of the job I can't work anymore so I'm quitting
I'm getting more sad and depressed as the time goes by and I need to get back on the road and head south.
 I don't know if I feel lonely cause I don't know what its supposed to feel like tbh

I've downloaded 6 dating apps and they're all set up but I don't got much hope of finding someone on there right now
I'll probably start using them when I'm back home cause its a waste of time and data and I'm travelling to much to find anything else than a quick fuck

I'm kinda tired and bored of my situation
but I'm sure travelling will make it less shitty


Other than that I'm jacking off not that much still but creating profiles. on swiping bitches on tinder made jack off 2 days in a row

Still haven't looked at porn but I've been on craigslist looking for sexy ads one day and saw a lesbian ad with a picture of her hairy pussy and got really horny

A good thing right now is I think I'm pretty much rebooted
My attraction to women is high
I get boners alot when I go to the beach

Alright alright alright,
I think I've said enough
I'll update the situation every 2 weeks or so
Hope you guys are doing well in your reboot and in your life
Don't kill yourself, and keep porn off your mind 

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #85 on: July 09, 2019, 06:59:18 PM »
Day 139:

I can't believe its been only 6 days since my last post
I quit my job and now I'm in kelowna and jobless
I made accounts on like 8 different dating sites and on adulfriend finder
I've been jacking off everyday since a few days ago

Browsing those website is like porn and Im so horny all the time
Ive messaged some trannies and i wanna fuck them

I dont give a fuck theyre dudes anymore
I just wanna fuckkk
I need sex and im bored and lonely

Ive not actually watched porn but used those site as porn
my counter is now at 0
I'm about to get a tranny escort if I dont meet anyone really soon


Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #86 on: July 11, 2019, 06:14:21 AM »
You are talented and strong and capable, but that doesn't mean you can't get hurt or tired. Take care of yourself and your needs   :)
Stay gold my friend

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #87 on: July 16, 2019, 10:30:00 PM »
Day 1:

I said if I watched porn I would reset the counter
I googled a picture of a shemale and jerked off
I needed so little for me to jerk of so thats a good sign
I'm not even mad I dont give a shit tbh

Too many people are too obsessed with the numbers
but this is about much more than that

Had a pretty shitty week this week
heres some stuff that happened:

locked my keys in my own car
got caught in a ditch at 1 am
got a 742$ speeding ticket
spent 7 hours at the border and got banned from the states
Officially relapsed

Whats funny and not funny is that the officers at the border watched all of the videos of me jerking off that I sent to some trannies I met on grindr...
and theres one where I say I may try to find work in the states so now its in the official interview, written filmed. and everything and I was kinda ashamed about that...

Anyway now I'm 3000 bucks in debt so I gotta make money.
Also I'm gunna try really hard to find a girl

I'm not sure if I wanna fuck a tranny but I may get a tranny escort to make sure im not missing on anything in life and its betted to try it while I dont have a girlfriend

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #88 on: July 16, 2019, 10:31:11 PM »
Also thank you thank you for the kind words

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #89 on: July 18, 2019, 08:45:09 PM »
Day 0:

Not sure what to do about that shemale stuff but trying to find real girls instead, I got about 6 dating apps that don't seem to work, feels like a waste of time

I jerked off today and looked for shemale escort and found one in my area but shes not that hot and cost 300 bucks
I feel bad cause I forced myself to jerk off and didnt even enjoy it

I was so angry today it felt like I was possesed by demons man
I thought that was my sexual frustration and jerking off would make me feel better but it didnt do dick

I'll try to find a job where I can meet women
I don't care if the job sucks I want a cute girls my arms I can give some love to

I watched nudes of tranny on the escort site and now my counter is back at 0 again not that I give a fuck anymore

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #90 on: July 20, 2019, 02:00:36 PM »
Day 1:

Slept all the afternoon yesterday
Feeling depressed and having some kind of brain fog
I have no energy to do anything
It might be caused by all the fast food I ate when I was
on the road
I might do a fast if it doesnt go away

I have a feeling the depression is gunna hit me hard now that
I'm not on the road again

I try to not look up porn but I feel like shit anyway so whats the point
I hope I find a girl soon and that I feel better but
I shouldnt need that to be happy you know

Im just rambling at this point
I never read back what I write
This us just a place where I can empty my thoughts

I need some shit to occupy my mind quick and get out of my head or I feel Im gunna go crazy and suicidal and depressed again and maybe relapse for good and go on a 1 year shemale porn binge.

Im not even gunna bother putting the no porn days anymore
Ill just try not to look up shit too often

lemme know if youre having a shitty reboot
bye


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #91 on: July 20, 2019, 03:23:16 PM »
relapsed

Do or die

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 807
  • Personal Text
    Be rebooted and help others to do it.
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #92 on: July 24, 2019, 01:03:10 AM »
I also relapsed and started again.
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #93 on: July 28, 2019, 01:13:09 AM »
Flatline

havent jacked off or thought about porn for 8 days

I partied with some friends
There was a cute girl there that I played with in the pool and
I got a boner at some point
but I don't think shes into me

She wasnt that hot but I liked her kinda
or maybe its just my dick who wants her

anyway I still had fun

she was climbing on my shoulders in the pool and I could feel her soft thighs on my neck
I enjoyed that



sometimes my mind shift into the darkness..
and it gets really bad, its the depression taking over and
I think that I may never get a girlfriend
and I say to myself thats its not true but thats not what
I truly believe

I have a problem that I dont know how to fix
what if I dont ever fuck and die a virgin?

I feel like such a bitch though.. complaining about that when some people have much bigger issues
but I truly feel  bad inside
my mind fucks with me

help






username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #94 on: July 29, 2019, 09:50:36 PM »
I've jerked off this morning
I was thinking about real girls only so I dont consider it bad

I've spent alot of time with friends and people this week
and im feeling better

I still hate the fact that I have no gf but I am grateful to have such good friends

My job sucks but sometime I have fun
I think Im gunna get another shitty job just so I can meet girls
Theres a 16 yr old girl thats kinda alright looking but I dont know how I feel about her
All I know is when I get close to her I feel something inside of me

My boss told me not to try to fuck her cause I got the last girl
fired caused I made things awkward and tried to kiss her but fuck him lol

I need to make pussy my buisness
Invest time and money in it like it was a hobby



I need to focus on the positive
the devil is there whenever I let my guard down or Im tired

that motherfucker is tryna take over



Do or die

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 807
  • Personal Text
    Be rebooted and help others to do it.
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #95 on: July 30, 2019, 12:45:10 AM »
you can do it. just dont loss your will power
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #96 on: August 02, 2019, 12:46:00 PM »
Its been 6 months since I started the reboot now
I jerked off this morning and its been 3 days since I last jerked off and it was pretty hard to do

I hope Ill be able to cum if i ever fuck a girl

Ive kinda given up on dating sites again
I dont have the personality to use that stuff and my photo looks like shit
Its kinda degrading for me to have to look a pictures of girls with my phone to fuck them

it just feels wrong

but i might try using them once i get desperate again



username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #97 on: August 04, 2019, 12:25:45 PM »
I dont believe in god but I believe things happen fot a reason

maybe Im not supposed to have sex yet cause im not ready
im still in a flatline and Im not sure if having sex would be good for the reboot or not

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #98 on: August 06, 2019, 02:56:12 PM »
jerked off
kinda forced myself to cum so I could sleep
I dont feel good about it


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 83
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #99 on: August 08, 2019, 09:04:10 PM »
Feeling kinda down
dont know if its my shitty job or what
I want to fuck a girl at my job
shes like a 5 and 16 yrs old but im horny

she teased me but dont think she wants me
anyway shes not my type but I want her to suck me off
or to eat her pussy
ill probably ask her if she wanna fuck tomorrow but idk
she has a boyfriend anyway but she never sees him

im getting a new job as a telephonist next week
I realllly hope theres some cute girls ill work with that are gunna like me
Its not even about if im gunna like the work anymore
I want to fuck

Also today I got hard when I said to the girl at work I bet you cant fit my cock in your mouth and she said she could
dont know how we got to talk about that but dont matter
I count this as progress
Im in a better shape than I thought (my dick)