Author Topic: Shemale Addiction  (Read 3923 times)

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #50 on: March 30, 2019, 09:03:12 PM »
Thanks man

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #51 on: March 30, 2019, 09:18:12 PM »
Day 38:

Just got off work and I was fucking angry
Almost everyone pissed me off today all I could do was scream as loud as I can in my car and try not to murder someone
Fuck this

I haven't been angry in a long fucking time
And I think porn was numbing all this shit
I think I'll just be more and more angry from now on
I used to be angry all the time before

I can't help it I just wanna kill somebody
Even when I scream or destroy shit it helps a little but it always come back
It builds up till I can't take it anymore and I fucking loose it

Last summer I'd be in my basement weight training and listening to really loud death metal
while screaming for like 45 mins to get all the anger out
I'd do that once a week and I was not feeling angry the rest of the week
I'm probably gunna have to so something like that pretty soon

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #52 on: March 31, 2019, 05:08:41 PM »
Yeah, intense physical exercise is the way to go imo. Weight lifting is good, running can be good too. This morning after meditating I was really riled up, I went for a run and lifted after. Felt soo much better after.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #53 on: March 31, 2019, 09:10:41 PM »
Day 39:

Shitty morning but the day ended up being alright
I'm not working tomorrow so that's good

Yesterday I saw a Death Race movie and there was alot of nudity but I didn't get hard
I'm still on a flatline, I wonder how long its gunna last
I'm not really thinking about sex at all since I stopped PMO
But I really wanna get my libido back

I miss being attracted to women and horny for them
And at the same time I don't cause I'm not thinking about sex all the time
I hated being sexually frustrated every time I saw a sexy girl
It was hurting me real fucking deep like nothing else tbh






Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #54 on: April 01, 2019, 12:29:35 AM »
Enjoy the flatline bro! It's almost like free days added to your reboot. You can put your mind on other things, hobbies etc.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #55 on: April 01, 2019, 06:49:02 PM »
Yeah I'm lucky to be on a flatline or else I think I'd have relapse this morning...
I was on a youtube live chat yesterday I was talking to this hot girl and she said something that turned me on
This morning I was in bed and started thinking about her and fantasizing and stuff and I tried to jack off but didn't feel much
Its so easy to jack off when you're already in bed I'll need to watch out for that

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #56 on: April 01, 2019, 07:05:53 PM »
Day 40:

Not sure what the definition of a flatline is anymore
Don't really care but I think I'm still in it
I don't know if I'll jack off when I get off the flatline I want to so bad but don't know if I should
What's 99.9% sure is I won't watch porn ever again, that's the main goal



I did a nice chest workout today it felt good
I'm starting to gain some real good gains

Changed my oil and realized my steering rack is fucked
Ordered a new one today it should be here tomorrow morning
I need to fix it tomorrow cause I work the day after...
I think its gunna be a pain in the ass and I'll fuck things up but Ima try anyway



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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #57 on: April 02, 2019, 11:44:27 PM »
Day 41:

Busy day, didn't have time to think about anything but fixing my car
Its day like these I need to keep my mind off sexual thoughts

I thought about if I was still attracted to trannies but I'm not sure
The idea of sucking off a dude who's now a girl is kinda creepy
I actually would like a relationship soon and I don't think a tranny will do
I miss the way I looked at women when I was still very attracted to them

Its not just about sex too, I want to see women differently from sex objects
I'm still very isolated and disconnected.. I gotta come back to reality or howeverthefuck normal people live

 

Pete McVries

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #58 on: April 03, 2019, 04:14:07 AM »
41 days in, that's huge. Keep going your path and your tastes will return back to vanilla more and more. What I have noticed is that If I was to relapse, I would still go back to my P fetish but when I think about being intimate with women, my fetish isn't involved at all which is a good sign, I think.
nine months clean and counting...

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #59 on: April 04, 2019, 05:18:52 PM »
Congrats bro keep it up! I'd steer clear of the youtube chat stuff and probably of the jacking off for awhile too.... Your brain is healing and the fetish is fading which is awesome! So, why not keep things moving that way as quick as possible?   

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #60 on: April 04, 2019, 09:28:14 PM »
Yeah I wanna keep things moving as quick as possible but also make this a way of life that's sustainable long term

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #61 on: April 04, 2019, 09:40:53 PM »
Day 43:

Pretty shitty morning but the day turned out alright
I was awake in my bed and my dick was hard 80% of the time for 1 hour
That a pretty long morning wood
I wasn't horny or anything though

I think this flatline is coming to an end
I'm gunna set 3 rules Ima try to follow for when I start getting horny again:

-No porn
-Jacking off will be allowed after 90 days no PMO
-I will jack off only when I can't take it anymore, and without fantasies

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #62 on: April 05, 2019, 01:32:34 PM »
Great man! Morning wood like that is a huge huge sign of progress. Yeah no PMO ever ever ever though.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #63 on: April 07, 2019, 11:59:50 AM »
Day 46:

Yesterday I got back on the flatline

This morning I was really horny and fantasized about shemales
I'm not really proud of that, I thought I was over this fetish already

I went for a walk and saw a cute girl running across the street and we made eye contact
I know its not much but that made me feel really good
I made eye contact with another girl not long after and she also smiled
Man there not alot of things I love more than looking at beautiful girls running on a sunny day

I really got high hopes for the near future and things are gunna be good
I will jerk off without porn at day 90 if I feel like it
This is so whenever I'm horny I hold myself and have a thing to look forward to cause I don't think I'm gunna make it PMO free otherwise

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #64 on: April 08, 2019, 02:01:24 PM »
Well, you are progressing for sure! Enjoying smiling at the girl and being attracted to her is awesome. It looks like a transition to me some of the old bs fantasies but also you are becoming attracted to real girls! Keep doing what you are doing, as that is progress for sure. And yeah, watch out for fantasy, aim to cut it out as much as possible. For me it became a problem and it avoiding it will MASSIVELY help in getting rid of the fetish.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #65 on: April 08, 2019, 09:24:54 PM »
I don't think about sex at all during the the day its just that when I wake up and I don't get out of bed right away and I'm horny I start fantasizing. I try to stop myself from fantasizing but I can't. Not sure if this is bad for the reboot if we're talking about my physical capability to bust nuts and not only about avoiding fetishes but it can't be good.

This will change pretty soon when I get a new job cause I will have to wake up earlier
I just hope I don't relapse until then
I almost relapsed this morning
I think I could have busted in less than 20 seconds

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #66 on: April 08, 2019, 10:57:27 PM »
Stay strong bro!

I have the EXACT same problem. If I stay in bed in am it often leads to fantasy. It's simple you gotta get THE FUCK OUTTA BED. Like as if the bed were lava. Do that shit asap, as the fantasy is real bad you want to cut it out cause it'll give you super strong urges.

I hack I have used recently that works for me is.... I get instantly out of bed, but I go to the couch and rest more lol. For whatever reason it's just not the same. I can go on the couch and the urges aren't there but I can still rest a bit or take the time to get going if I wake up feeling like shit.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #67 on: April 11, 2019, 10:04:48 PM »
Day 50:

Had my first wet dream last night
I thought it was gunna feel good after not having busted all that time but I didn't feel anything
It just felt like i pissed myself
This makes me not even want to jerk off even more so that's a good thing

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #68 on: April 11, 2019, 11:44:27 PM »
Great man! Thats an awesome indicator of healing happening and awesome that is lowers your cravings. Keep it up! 50 days is quite the accomplishment, keep going. Your brain is getting healthier and healthier

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #69 on: April 14, 2019, 04:57:57 AM »
Hey I read your original post and I can relate to your despair. I hope you are OK. Wishing you all the best with your goals.

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #70 on: April 14, 2019, 09:32:48 PM »
Thanks, I'm in a much better place now

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #71 on: April 14, 2019, 09:57:29 PM »
Day 53:

Had urges this morning
I went on craigslist during the day to see if there was trannies posting ads but what I saw left me pretty disgusted
I wasn't even horny when I was looking that up, I think I'm doing it out of curiosity
The urge to watch porn and the urge to jerk off are two different things it seems
I wanted to look up shemale porn to see if I was still attracted to it but I didn't

Transsexuals irl are not like in porn and I'm starting to acknowledge that
If I don't watch porn ever again I shouldn't think about them anymore
But I have watched them everyday for years so that will take awhile

You'd think at day 50+ I'd be smooth sailing but I'm not
I'm not even that horny yet and I need to control myself not to jerk off

I need to remember why I'm rebooting at my most vulnerable times cause otherwise I'll jack off
I will write a post about my reasons for doing the reboot soon so I can check it when I'm about to relapse




Other than that I've had a shitty day at work
Tomorrow will be better

mym8marty

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #72 on: April 14, 2019, 11:14:33 PM »
Hey! Just read through this thread from the beginning, just want to say CONGRATS you've made it a huge way from where you started out, even just a couple months ago.

I think one way we will try to trick ourselves into relapsing is by telling ourselves things aren't for PMO, but that we're just curious, or we're just wondering, or it's not actually relapsing if we're looking at something without the intention of MO. It's a TRAP, if you find yourself just using the curiosity as an excuse, remind yourself what that road leads to, and step away/do something else off of your phone/computer. That's really helped me, at least. Hope it helps you. Good luck!

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #73 on: April 15, 2019, 07:58:17 PM »
Keep going man. Remember, the urge to check if you are still "into" your porn induced fetish is just some tricky addiction rationalization stuff so good thing you avoided it!

 For me it's helpful to categorize looking up classfied ads as looking at P. In a way it can be worse, cause now it's moving into the real world. Remember, you want this addiction and fetish GONE right? You didn't have this fetish before porn and were disgusted by it the first time you saw it right? It's like a shitty parasite, let it starve totally and be gone.

Keep moving forward and get this shit out of your life! ON the other side is relationships with real women, feeling a hell of a lot better about your self, inspiring others including on this forum.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2019, 08:01:20 PM by Quitforeverthenwin »

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Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #74 on: April 15, 2019, 09:09:20 PM »
Thanks for reading Marty

and Quit, when I checked out ads everything I saw on there was really nasty and made me pretty disgusted and they all looked like men, so it actually made me not want to look up shemale porn