Author Topic: Shemale Addiction  (Read 3934 times)

malando

  • Global Moderator
  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1053
  • Personal Text
    Something deep should be here, but it isn't...
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #125 on: September 02, 2019, 11:39:23 PM »

Have you ever had a read through your posts? I'd be surprised if you are proud of what you've posted here. I'd say you are more affected by porn than you even know. Your attitude to women is deplorable. And please leave that 16 year old girl alone. She doesn't deserve to have you in her life.

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #126 on: September 03, 2019, 09:05:31 PM »
That 16 yr old girl is a total bitch anyway
I never read back what I post once and sorry if porn is affecting me, thats why I'm here!
I just come here to let everything inside my mind out so those thoughts cant fuck with me

Your life must suck to have to insult people on the internet to feel better about yourself
read back what you posted and tell me, are you proud of what you've posted here? L0l
All I can see is anger, negativity and saltyness
you must not have jerked off in a very long time

your attitude towards people in general sucks so I can't believe that women it would be better

You need some serious help, if you're gunna spread negativity just leave man, I've got enough of that already


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #127 on: September 03, 2019, 10:04:22 PM »
I just want to stay raw and let people have a look at exactly what goes through my mind
i posted a warning at the very begginning of the thread to let people know that

what you said kinda hurt and was very cold, negative, and unproffessional for a moderator
Ive got more views than some people with more replies so some people must relate or enjoy what I write so I dont see why I shouldnt be free to post

no one has to read what I write
most other posters really piss me off and I just dont read them
you also piss me off  but I kept my calm as you can see

try to be more kind even if youre pissed at me
dont spread negativity on me even if I have on you somehow

i truly want to get better and I use this website as a tool to let off steam and what goes on in my mind
not write a novel!

I realized I was a little cold with that girl now that I look back and I do feel bad about it

but I'm having trouble realizing that
I'm dumb when it comes to that kinda stuff
Im used to numb my emotions
I really thought I loved her...

anyway
I'm not a bad man, I'm just in a bad shape mentally

if you wanna beat down a sick man instead of lending him a hand, be my guest and ban me
but if you would just tell me calmly what you think is wrong with me I'd prefer that

I was gunna send this to you as a private message but I'll just post it on the thread

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #128 on: September 03, 2019, 10:17:11 PM »
 If you click ''help'', thats whats written word for word:

"Posting - The whole point of a forum, posting allows users to express themselves."

do I need to say more? can't I express myself please?
If I need to use certain words to express myself, I'll use them
Dont like it? just leave!
do I go to justin bieber videos to say how much I hate him?
No!
Why?
cause I don't need to
all i gotta do is not watch them!

if you wanna act though and ban me just to prove you have the power to do so... you can
Id rather you dont but hey
its gunna say alot more about you than it says about me

I've spent too much time on this
I'm done

If I get banned, thanks everyone for reading
I wish you good luck on your reboot
and I will join a forum that allows me to post whatever the
FUCK I want

nps1337

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 3
    • View Profile
    • vegus168
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #129 on: September 04, 2019, 02:13:33 AM »
Thanks alot for you're Information sir

วิเคราะห์บอล
« Last Edit: September 04, 2019, 02:18:36 AM by nps1337 »
เวกัส168 เว็บพนันออนไลน์ คาสิโน & บาคาร่าออนไลน์ ที่ดีที่สุดในไทย !

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #130 on: September 04, 2019, 08:01:35 PM »
No prob man

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #131 on: September 04, 2019, 08:11:23 PM »
It was hard to focus at school today
I was doing maths and kept thinking about girls
I can't not think about girls or sex when I'm doing something boring like that

I took a nap and I got the urge to jack off and did it
I don't feel good or bad about it, it just happened
I didn't fantasize or anything and just focused on the feeling so I don't think its that bad for me

porn is the biggest issue and if I have to jerk off once in awhile to help me stay away then so be it
If I can cum easily like that then I wont have pied

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #132 on: September 04, 2019, 08:23:42 PM »
Do you know the biggest reason I start watching porn again even though I stopped?
Its cause I always forget why I'm doing this
I mean I don't have always a clear reason so its easy to go on a dickjackathon when you don't remember why you stopped in the first place

heres my personal reasons:
1. I want to be more sensitive to real women emotionaly and sexualy
2. I want my future girlfriend to feel that I'm really attracted to her and I feel she doesn't deserve someone who watches porn
3. I don't wanna have pied
4. porn kinda makes me depressed and have a low self esteem and makes other things in life less enjoyable
5. I feel a little bit ashamed after watching porn

If you're rebooting, I strongly suggest having a list of your personal reasons to stop watching porn

Ill try to remember those if I'm close to relapsing again

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #133 on: September 04, 2019, 09:58:47 PM »

I just ate alot of food and I'm feeling really good
I need to eat more

also I just took a walk and made eye contact with a girl
I know its nothing but it means alot to me
she turned her head 90 degrees to look at me a looked really cute and I smiled at her

Later during that walk I had some thoughs that I think I should have focused on before and are big part of my problem with meeting women

Since I was a boy I was only around other boys and I had a pretty violent childhood, I never got along with my brothers we fought with each other everyday
I still don't talk to my little brother to this day since a few years
anyway.. I'm not gunna write a fucking novel about how hard I've had it cause I've had a good childhood and had it. better thsn most, enough with that self pity bs, I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I've grown to ignore and suppress my emotions till I couldn't feel pain
Till I coudn't feel anything then I only felt depression, sadness, anger and isolation
I became really cold and I still am cold to this day at some. extent

Its hard to tell people's feelings when you can't even feel your own
I few times I've had girl that were in love with me and I couldn't see it, I didn't feel shit
I didn't even give fuck about them cause I was numb

I'm working on trying to feel things but not sure how
I've learned how to cry again about 3 years ago but it was really hard even when I was alone

I used to listen to death metal only also and I think it affected me in some ways
Now I listen to latino music and songs about love cause thats what I wanna spread
not hate

Who thaught the need to meet women would lead me that deep into self reflection
maybe that was one the lessons I needed to learn

anyway, I'm gunna stop boring you and go to sleep now
I just needed to write these thoughts while they were still fresh in my mind

thats enough posts for today


« Last Edit: September 04, 2019, 10:01:20 PM by username is not available »

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #134 on: September 05, 2019, 09:41:59 PM »
pretty good day
had some thought about shemales once or twice during the day
I'm never gunna be able to make myself not like shemales I think
you cant undoo a fetish

I'm thinking of how to become more sensitive to my emotions again
I've learned how to hate and look mean and though and be emitionless and cold and look at people in a very angry way to scare them off

Now its time to learn to love and be sensitive
like a women...
which is way harder
cause Im not a women

being vulnerable and sensitive as a man who is used to be manly is so hard
I've had to destroy my ego and unlearned my ways to be, act and even walk

I'm not talking about becoming a women but trying to learn how to feel how women feel when I need to feel it

I want to be as approachable as one can be
I used to want to look mean and want people to  be scared of me
I listenned to death metal only and wore only black shirt eith death metal  band logos on them

I don't wear those anymore

I think the music you listen to really matches the vibe you put out
it kinda brainwashes you into the mindset

ask yourself, does the music you listen to match what you need to be in your life at this moment?

I personally listen to latino music that talk about love and shit and are kinda soft cause thats an aspect im lacking
I want people (mainly girls) to get a loving vibe when they talk to me

if this topic interest you you can go watch a vid by eliott hulse on youtube called listen to this music
its pretty interesting



username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #135 on: September 06, 2019, 03:14:40 PM »
searched for shemale escorts yesterday
only found one thats passable and she's.. (ok he!! whatever)
is far away
looked for girls escort too and found one but didnt contact her

I relapsed on shemale porn because of that
I dont feel good about it


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #136 on: September 13, 2019, 03:13:13 PM »
*Trigger warning*
Don't read this post if you're prone to relapses

I haven't felt the need to post in awhile
thats because my mind has been clear since last saturday

I fucked a tranny that day
It was stressfull to be honest
I didn't know what to expect
I remember the moment when I knocked on the door..
and waited... very stressfull

she opened the door (yes SHE okay)
that wasnt a man dressed in girls clothes
It was a really beautiful and feminine transgender
I was happy

she had a girly voice and really soft skin and cute little breasts and for a moment I thought the might not be a transgender after all
I would never have known if it wasnt for the cock in her panties

she sucked my cock and I busted in less than a minute
I was way too horny that day
But it kinda took a moment for me to get hard cause of the stress

I tried to get hard again but couldnt so we talked for a few minutes

I sucked her cock after that but she couldnt get hard cause of the hormones

I managed to get hard and fucked her in the ass after that
but didnt feel much

I then dressed up, looked at her amazing body one last time and we kissed eachother on the cheeks and then I left

I thought from what I've read that some people felt like commiting suicide after having fucked a tranny but it felt amazing to me

feels weird to have sucked dick but hey
if you're afraid to suck a little dick, who the fag?
L0l







username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #137 on: September 14, 2019, 12:03:02 PM »
It feels weird to like trannies
what do you tell your friends
oh I like dicks in my mouth but I'm not gay
right...

but its true
I'm not gay
I don't like men
I didnt even watch porn where there was a man in the video

But its hard for people to understand
even I thought I was gay at some point and googled are you gay if you like trannies
now I have a simple definition of whats gay
Its simple, if you see an attractive man, do you want to fuck him?
If no, you're not gay


I realized a week of reflection that a huge part of the addiction for me was curiosity
now that I've been with a tranny I'm less curious about them and I'm not as prone to relapse (I think)
or I could be wrong and I'm just in a flatline right now which is most likely the case

Its been 1 week since I fucked a shemale (feels weird writing this) and I havent jacked off since
I' m gunna start the counter back on from now just for fun
this is day 7

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #138 on: September 15, 2019, 09:54:36 AM »
Day 8:
Sick and feeling shitty
left ear been hurting for 11 and a half months now
sucks

I'm still on the flatline and that's exactly what I need right now
when I'm gunna be on a small streak its gunna be harder for me to start watching it again

I feel depression creeping up as winter is coming
I hope I don't get as depressed as last year to the point of wanting to kill myself
If I do I'll power through that but its not fun

maybe I need to be able to live with myself before I find someone
If I need someone to be happy thats not good
and if I need porn to make me happy thats worse

This doesnt mean I wont try to find a girl
but I'm gunna try to live a good life alone




username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #139 on: September 17, 2019, 03:02:49 PM »
Day 1:

feeling alright
relapsed yesterday
felt like shit about it this morning

I watch asmr videos to help me sleep
but I ended up on a pretty sexual asmr video
I thought it was ok cause its on youtube but I consider it porn since I jerked off to it pretty easily

It was a girl with a shirt with a huge hole in the back..
so she was laying on her bed and I could see her whole back and ass without panties and feet in the air...
I knew I shouldnt have watched it but now I wanna watch it again and I must not..

I know I should just stop watching asmr alltogether cause its the same thing as porn
its like I would say to myself I'll just start watching vanilla porn again and nothing too hardcore
Yeah.. ive tried that and it did not work at all

It sucks cause I actually enjoy asmr to sleep even if its not sexual
just seeing and hearing a girl speak softly and getting feminine vibes is pleasant and calming


Lero

  • Guest
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #140 on: September 17, 2019, 04:16:24 PM »
Day 1:

feeling alright
relapsed yesterday
felt like shit about it this morning

I watch asmr videos to help me sleep
but I ended up on a pretty sexual asmr video
I thought it was ok cause its on youtube but I consider it porn since I jerked off to it pretty easily

It was a girl with a shirt with a huge hole in the back..
so she was laying on her bed and I could see her whole back and ass without panties and feet in the air...
I knew I shouldnt have watched it but now I wanna watch it again and I must not..

I know I should just stop watching asmr alltogether cause its the same thing as porn
its like I would say to myself I'll just start watching vanilla porn again and nothing too hardcore
Yeah.. ive tried that and it did not work at all

It sucks cause I actually enjoy asmr to sleep even if its not sexual
just seeing and hearing a girl speak softly and getting feminine vibes is pleasant and calming

Anything that stimulates the addicted brain (and we should know how this feels like aka identify when this happens) is to be avoided. If jerking off to a picture triggers the same feelings like P, it's clear.

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #141 on: September 18, 2019, 09:46:36 PM »
Day 2:

yeah I should stop watching it
I only watch one the same video to help me sleep now, that it not arousing to me (at the moment..)

but its playing with fire and I should probably stop cause I lack self control these days

I see asmr vids on the front page of youtube on my phone now and saw a vid of a girl on her bed barefeet and it would have made me relapse if I was horny
I need to clear this somehow


...



Not a bad day
I was sad and depressed this morning but it got better
saw a few beautiful girls and they made me feel like shit
Its really hard for me to be social for some reason
I have some darkness sucking the life outta me
I can see it in my eyes when I look in the mirror
I look like a serial killer who hasnt slept for days

I don't talk to people
I only talk here which is not really talking but still better than nothing
I can get some shit out my head atleast
some shit you just dont talk to people about
who wants to hear about depression? its depressing

I need a place where I'm forced to socialise or I'll go down the path of depression
I'm already on the path going downhill about 30 miles an hour up in this BITCH I need something to change that


yesterday I looked up shemale hookers..
I didnt even want to fuck
I was bored and curious and wanted some excitement
I need to stop doing that
its just as bad as looking up porn

no more...

*looks it up*




username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #142 on: September 19, 2019, 09:37:40 AM »
Day 3:

don't remember the last time I felt this good
has to do with a couple things
1 I had allergies and bought an air purifier
2 had bloating for days and stopped eating beans everyday
3 smoked a good cigar and I'm on that nicotine high

lesson: stop eating beans and start smoking cigars

porn wise I think I'll be more horny the better I feel ehich is both good and bad
Ill want to watch it more but Ill have more energy to fight the addiction
I'll just go back to jacking off without porn using only the feeling and a finger in my ass... hey thats not gay ok don' t judge, at least I have the balls to admit it... to a bunch of strangers on the internet
alright I have nothing to hide anymore
we're all gunna die who gives a fuck

enjoy life while it lasts
a life WITHOUT PORN

porn kills love

good luck everyone rebooting
I hope you have one good day every once in awhile
and I hope things will be better from now on
I have regained hope and I'm sure everything will work out in the end for all of us
its better to think the universe is on our side than to think otherwise


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #143 on: September 20, 2019, 10:00:36 AM »
Day 0:

things were looking so great yesterday
well they're not
It was just one of those moment you feel great then everything goes back to the way it was

I was feeling curious yesterday and wanted to see if there was trans escort in the area yesterday
long story short I ended up relapsing
then full blown relapsed twice on shemale porn this morning

fuck.

Sometimes I wish I would follow my own advice
I'm really good at giving advice to people you know
but I never follow my own fucking advice

I saw a post titles '' my last attempt at quitting porn''
well for me theres no last attempt
I'm gunna try till I succeed
I ain' t no quitter..
wrong choice of words there

I just shave my beard and hair
Took a shower cleaned the jizz off myself
Its time to start brand new again
gunna clean my room, go to the gym and find other stuff to do

I'm gunna write myself a note of why I want to quit porn
wait I already did, im gunna try to find it in the posts
and I'm gunna read it everytime I have cravings
might not work but its better than nothing

I don't wanna have a relationship with a tranny man..
Imagine telling my friends my girlfriend has a cock
telling my parents my girlfriend was born a man
seeing pictures of the tranny as a boy
how disgusting

I wanna have a long term relationship with a real girl
a women who I can have kids with someday
someone I'm proud to introduce to people
thats what I need

what scares me is I'm always gunna have cravings towards shemales and when I'm gunna have a wife I dont wanna cheat so maybe I should have one last experience with one while I have the chance? maybe its gunna be a bad one hopefully and I wont ever think of fucking one again

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #144 on: September 20, 2019, 02:35:06 PM »
Its hard for me to appreciate what I got
Got plenty of good things yet I often focus on the negative side
It has its positives and negatives points

like if youd never focus on the negative side you wouldnt evolve
and I'm grateful for that

even though I lived in a negative mindset for the last few years it forced me to improove myself in many ways

you don't evolve in your confort zone cause you don't need to
it takes something to push you

porn in a way made me a better man cause quitting made me focus on all the aspects of my life that were wrong

I'm not out of the trench yet but I stopped drinking and smoking weed alltogether and its been more than a year and I'm not going back to it anytime soon

I started smoking cigars by choice and I don't regret my descision even though people say its bad for you
Its good for my mind right now and makes me feel great

its not a high that brings me down but put me in a higher state, it brings me energy while relaxing me at the same time

I just smoked one right now and I'm in a much better place
I think this is actually good for me
Its not an addiction that I want to stop
I understand why people have the deepest conversations when smoking cigars now, it just opens up your mind on another level, I just smoked one right now and thats why I am pouring letter out of my ass like its water not that I would do that on a daily basis

I wish I could have deep conversations about stuff I talk in here with people in real life
sucks that most people just like talking about superficial stuff that doesnt matter really
I mean its fun but I'd rather talk about stuff that makes tou think

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #145 on: September 21, 2019, 02:42:10 PM »
Day 1:

I feel shitty and depressed
day 1
fuck

I've been doing this for so long now I'm starting over
I've deleted both my dating apps
cause they can be used as porn kinda
and I have stopped watching asmr
I deleted my youtube history so I'm good trigger wise

Its time I take this shit more seriously
the first time I rebooted I made it to 75 days before jerking off
the second time about 45
now its just pathetic

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #146 on: September 23, 2019, 01:59:56 PM »
Day 3:

Feeling alright
only at day 3 but I plan on doing a good streak right now
I'm gunna find a way to fill up my time

im gunna try to not jerk off at all for as long as I can
when I jerk off its gunna be without porn and once a week max like I was doing before
that worked really good for awhile before that asmr shit came along for the ride

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #147 on: September 25, 2019, 10:35:13 PM »
Day 5:

Been feeling bloated and sick inside
which is good for the reboot because I'm not horny

I feel I'm in for a pretty good streak

I don't feel like posting these days
I feel when I post its that I'm thinking about sex
and when Im thinking about sex its cause I want it
not posting often means im actually doing good reboot wise I think


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 141
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #148 on: September 26, 2019, 02:25:17 PM »
Day 6:

No urges so far
I don't feel attracted to 90% of women right now
but sometimes like today I sense my animal instinct going through my body when I see some type of women

this is the calm before then storm
Im enjoying those free days of rest before the real challenge begins, Its gunna make me feel more comitted to the streak

So the date I started is semptember 19, 2019
I'll try not to jerk off till 2020
No porn at least
Fuck thats harsh
100+ days attempt lets go

Chuck Shurley

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #149 on: September 26, 2019, 02:30:24 PM »

So the date I started is semptember 19, 2019
I'll try not to jerk off till 2020
No porn at least
Fuck thats harsh
100+ days attempt lets go

Hey, that's what I'm attempting to do too. Hit the magical 90 day mark come Christmas, and go into 2020 PMO Free.

Let's do this, or as the Spanish say, Vamos (let's go!)

Day 24 COMPLETED