Author Topic: Relapse loop!  (Read 267 times)

atif

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Relapse loop!
« on: February 10, 2019, 08:51:30 AM »
I have been watching porn since 12 I was in high school back then ..it has been regular during that period I hardly had any concept or idea about addictions and the same habit continued during my college days also. As a child, I was pretty above average in academics but it had gone to average and even below that ... I had poor grades and loss of concentration but hardly I noticed that the main reason behind that was porn too as I used to procrastinate play games and watch porn...it affected my relationships also I was more craving for fantasies that I used to watch in porn than real intimacy ... I even tried to bring unrealistic fantasies in my relationship which eventually hurt our relationship and it ended ...and at that point, I realized that I have to get through this bad habit that was killing me, so eventually, I started nofap in 2017 November during that time I got a part-time same time I completely abstained from porn and sexual material, I noticed changes both physically and psychologically , I was getting my confidence back and my concentration improved ..but it was in last year October I slipped I watched porn one day which began a relapse cycle ..after watching for a couple of hours I used to feel guilty again ...all those emotions felt coming back .. I was again getting in depression..after relapsing I used to go on streak of abstinence for week than I would start again... I tried my best to control but someway around others, I will see myself falling again into this trap ..... I really want to quit ...

klarson27

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Re: Relapse loop!
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2019, 05:45:07 PM »
"I noticed changes both physically and psychologically , I was getting my confidence back and my concentration improved"

What changes did you notice? 

Were they not good enough for you to get them again by quitting?

WoundedSparrow

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Re: Relapse loop!
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2019, 01:34:21 PM »
The toughest part about quitting porn is the deep relapses we find ourselves falling into. I'm coming out of one myself and it's been several months since my last clean streak. When you relapse, it becomes very easy to relapse again, and conversely, very hard not to. After you succumb the first time, your goal should be overcoming the heightened urge to continue relapsing. It's hard. Sometimes even a mild urge will be enough. My last week has been a disaster. But it all comes down to willpower. You know exactly what is required of you to end your addiction. It's simple. But this simple task is made difficult by your brain screaming for more dopamine. Embrace all the negative feelings you get as a result of abstaining. If you feel like complete garbage, that means it's working. Remember: There is absolutely no reason to look at porn. You only want to get off to it because you're an addict. And you're only an addict because you get off to it. And once you get off to it, the negative effects you feel increase as you spiral further down the rabbit hole. Your brain will lie to you and play tricks on you to get you back to porn. It will make you question your sanity. It will make you feel bad in ways you've never dreamed of. It will put terrible thoughts, feelings, and urges into your mind. Ignore all of these. Pain means you're getting better. Embrace pain. Embrace discomfort. Finally, avoid your triggers. Your brain gets off to sexual imagery, and unfortunately, it's everywhere in today's society. Like Perseus with Medusa, you must turn away as soon as you see something stimulating. Don't allow sexual urges to develop. Clear your mind of these thoughts the moment you quit looking. Pretty girls you see in public, sexy Instagram photos, scenes in movies and TV shows, video games, etc. It may seem extreme, but extreme problems require extreme solutions. And porn addiction is an extreme problem. Porn has taken much from you as it has me. We need to get our lives back. The alternative is to follow our addiction deeper into the abyss every day until we're both dead. Don't let that happen.

atif

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Re: Relapse loop!
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 12:10:24 AM »
"I noticed changes both physically and psychologically , I was getting my confidence back and my concentration improved"

What changes did you notice? 

Were they not good enough for you to get them again by quitting?
well I felt energetic and full of compassion towards people ....pornography had made a dead soul kind of thing lacking emotions ...but that all seemed to get fade away with time and my focus improved ...little I procrastinated and my spiritual side came into play.. I started praying ....you start looking in people eyes well that's what attracts others towards you ....you are  surrounded by positivity and you embrace and show gratitude even towards minute things that you have in life ...........i have started my journey again ..its just this CYCLE that i need to break free i know i can do it i have done in past ..