Author Topic: 4 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)  (Read 103565 times)

olafthewise

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #75 on: December 30, 2015, 08:48:12 PM »
It is a common and patented response for people to say that God is the author of evil, an evil or the evil or the devil, etc. This statement goes way back into the first centuries of scriptural debate.
So,
It is a worn out statement to call God the instigator of any evil.
Here is a better response;

I am evil. Born into it from the beginning. Angels do not get to be redeemed, only humans do. Angels are very keen to this and are curious to see a new believer because of the work Christ did on them to save them from a condemnation of hell for sin. (1 Peter 1). So Angels ponder our redeemed condition. When we sin, it is simply work that Christ still needs to do on our sanctification (power of God working on us, over time, as believers) I have a choice, serve God and be the best ridiculous example of a Christian that I can be, OR a bad example. Those in secret sin get caught. I simply chose to do something before I did get caught.
Do I avoid porn to get a reward, no. Would I get a reward for avoiding a sin of porn? Definitely not!! If, therefore, I am a born sinner, redeemed by God while a sinner, how is it me that stops my sin? If God did not intervene, I would still be looking for that perfect porn pic right now. So, what do I get for being good? Nothing. For redemption sake, I get to accompany my Lord in heaven. My extra efforts and duties earn extra rewards in heaven. If I am a good pastor, serving the Lord with diligence and concern for others, I earn all the more. If I ruin all my legacy as a pastor by having sex with the church secretary, my reward is ruined. If I have sex with my church secretary while being a fake unsaved Christian, I get no rewards, only punishment.
what is my point here? There is a God in heaven. if you are so inclined as either a Christian or an atheist to stop porn, you can, it is possible. Remember though, the enemy wants Christians to waste time on porn. So therefore, brothers, take extreme measures to avoid the addiction.   

rebooting555

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #76 on: January 05, 2016, 03:21:00 PM »
great article man it really helped me these last few days I just came off of a 74 day streak and had relapsed and for the last 25 days iv been trying to get passed it but keep falling off after 2-4 days only pmoing once but im back on it again thanks to this article I just hope I didn't jerk it all away which I highly doubt since 74 days is a great streak
mmmmmmmkjtyjghjyujktyjyujkrthjutyjytjtrujtyjfty

olafthewise

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #77 on: January 14, 2016, 03:01:57 PM »
just keep going. The presence of temptation will never go away. just get back on that horse and go as long as possible without porn. If you screw up, get back on the horse and keep going....repeat as necessary. Find other addictions that are healthy, like fitness, fixing stuff, Graduate school, The movie Lord of the Rings, etc.
 

rainman

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #78 on: February 10, 2016, 06:40:04 AM »
thanks mate. amazing and empowering - I've been reading this over and over in my darker moments.

olafthewise

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #79 on: February 25, 2016, 03:09:04 PM »
It is time again to add some wisdom here.
The science of addiction has great articles on this site to encourage us and to use the mechanics of science as a tool. In my case it is a God given tool, for others, its just science.
As I finish up my psych grad degree in the midst of years of unemployment, one thing is clear; does the thing you do (PMO, or drugs, etc), cause distress? I assume it does. One should avoid distress and when porn is uncontrollable, we must reduce that exposure as much as possible. I myself see a few explicit pictures and drawings on a certain picture site I frequent, that also has architecture, nature and comics as well. I produce little distress by seeing those pics and yet some here would not endure such temptation. I say this in light of my past when viewing porn for the sake of just viewing it (no masturbation) took hours from my day. That alone is distressful. I longed to regain control of my time. I wrongly assumed that replacing porn with Bible reading was a solution. I then realized that the human brain in me needed excitement in baseline stuff. Allow me to demonstrate; the house was mine to manage while my wife was away. I needed non porn related things to do, so I developed interesting projects that included this web page, LinkedIn and some others, wash needed to be done, fitness, kitchen cleaning, messy garage, paperwork for my special needs kid and in cases where the weather was good I simply got outside. Remember when you are alone, it is not good, my adult with autism helped by just being around. These simple projects were never done and provided enough simple brain stimulation to keep me out of trouble.
Remember, thinking about staying out of trouble (porn) is a conscious habit where you want to avoid porn and are thinking about avoiding porn, but really, you eventually get a proper dose of brain stimulation and eventually are not thinking about porn at all.
Therefore, when I get on LinkedIn, my mentality is not to find stimulating pictures of nudity but to look at profiles, business and read articles that make me a better person professionally. This practice removes the exercise of avoiding porn while avoiding porn altogether. If I deviate and then look at a few explicit pictures, I must do so quickly lest I forget where I came from. The goal in that case is to go back to the article I was on such as an article of business or other subject. Avoid the feelings of guilt that accompanies a lapse in judgement or relapse as we call it.
Examples of my own struggles can be given on request as questions, but telling a long list of guilt-ridden failures will not help anyone here.
As Christians we must realize that this is a war. Porn is one of many battles and other people battle their own problems of sin and sanctification. If we keep this in mind, the clever temptations given by our enemy can be fought and won with little cost. Prayer is assumed here, since the Lord wants you to speak to Him and to lay out your weaknesses plain and simple.
   

notgivinup

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #80 on: February 26, 2016, 04:06:50 PM »
Supersonic....love your #1 reason why you are here: Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior. He gave you a new heart.

I am convinced that this is the only way any of us will be free....is experiencing transformation....getting a new heart.

This is what is doing it for me.

Thanks again....this is really cool.

NGU

olafthewise

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #81 on: March 20, 2016, 03:06:54 AM »
Uh, Mr notgivinup,

Your salvation is for one purpose and that is to remove your lack of membership in heaven. It is not some magical emblem to use like the ring in "Lord Of The Rings." Your salvation is also untouchable, meaning that the devil cannot remove it or take it from you and the Lord has guaranteed this membership as a promise.
However........the Lord Jesus promised us trouble. Right???? trouble is not heavy rain or a small cut on your arm. It is not someone calling you an improper word or you sitting in traffic jams. trouble means you will sin, your sin will carry you to unknown waters where responsibility and moral conduct seem stupid. Then you sin...a lot. The smoke clears and you quote scripture to protect yourself. Get real!!! Your salvation is set. Get some information about your brain on porn and then you can fight a real battle between good and evil as you consume the truth from scripture that flows within you!
 

Trader22

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Re: 2 and a half YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ!
« Reply #82 on: March 21, 2016, 11:45:07 AM »
Supersonic, You are 100% Correct on everything you've posted.  Congrats on 2-1/2 and all the Praise and Glory to God.

« Last Edit: March 21, 2016, 12:29:13 PM by Trader22 »

Introspect

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #83 on: June 05, 2016, 10:40:56 AM »
Supersonic,

Congratulations on acheiving and sustaining recovery for more than three years! Your story is truly inspiring for an arousal addict like me.

Thank you so much for your advice. I think these tips are absolutely brilliant. Yes, it is absolutely essential to have the reasons for not acting on triggers firmly memorized beforehand, and to know exactly what you will do when the triggers hit. Because they will come and they have the force to knock you out of your mind. So prepare for it every day. I am not religious like you are, but I certainly see the support and strength that you find in your faith. That is a very good thing :) I wish you the very best for your continued sobriety and recovery.

bedw3320

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #84 on: June 10, 2016, 11:26:03 AM »
Thank you very much for these guidelines, I feel like they should be seen by everyone who's trying to quit. I've had long streaks before, and this post hits the issue bullseye.

Stay strong my friends!

Will
« Last Edit: July 27, 2017, 06:58:26 AM by bedw3320 »


olafthewise

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #85 on: June 16, 2016, 02:29:27 AM »
I would like to remind people here about battle; the enemy is cunning and patient. He will wait 10 years for you to screw up. His ways are clever; never consider yourself smarter than the devil, but use strategy as smartly as you can in order to avoid YOUR weaknesses. Example; trying to attend church more often will not take away sin. Associating with experienced Christian men will give you more strategy.

Selena michale

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #86 on: September 19, 2016, 05:07:30 AM »
Very effective tips. I booked them and i'll follow these steps every single day. Thank u so much for sharing such an amazing tips. I cant wait to reach 3 years of soberty

olafthewise

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #87 on: October 28, 2016, 01:29:08 PM »
heh, heh...MZ, s-o-b-r-i-e-t-y!

Its not about the time. Once you pass a certain point, time does not matter, you are then on a roll that is difficult to stop. But still stoppable. Mark my words.
also, after 3 years things heal, you get other interests, girls seem interesting at all ages for human reasons not physical, you can pray without guilt, your time increases even though the day still has 24 hours.

Stowe2010

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #88 on: November 10, 2016, 01:56:54 AM »
I love the 5, well 6 really, tips you give us. There is no such thing as once and you need to nip temptation in the bud. We all need to do whatever It takes to not use.  Going to meditate on all those point starting tomorrow, thanks for the post and congrats on all your success! Stay strong my friends!
« Last Edit: November 10, 2016, 02:01:39 AM by Stowe2010 »

olafthewise

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #89 on: November 30, 2016, 03:44:28 PM »
I already told of the relapses and explicit pic viewing I do from time to time. My wisdom written here has not changed. I filled out a lengthy background form for a job the other day and guess what? I felt the need for porn right after. You see, I learned over time that whenever we finish a task of immense pressure, our brain settles. The brain stimulation goes down and we need excitement. Porn can do that so in order to avoid it, we acknowledge it and take measures to do other non computer tasks or chores until the need for brain stimulation need ends. As I said before, our wives can help. They are not a solution to porn but they can help us rid ourselves of the temptation by having sex with us, being sexy or...you know, intimate times with her.
My own story is surrounded by long term unemployment that will not end. The toil on us as a couple has produced a disrespect in her towards me that could fuel porn justification. I have avoided such thoughts so far, but I feel as though the enemy is close by. I must remain diligent to the task of avoidance of porn especially when angry with her. If anyone could pray for me, do so now, the Lord seems to be distant to my prayers. I took 3 county exams for jobs in 3 different fields recently. I am #11 on one, #31 on another. Most other private jobs where I send my resume ignore me though I've done much to remedy the process over the years. This is my sad story and as a man it whittles away at my core leaving my wife with a wimp, thus our scorched relationship. (30 years)
Carry on friends. The holidays are here.

gazz

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #90 on: November 30, 2016, 06:15:52 PM »
much sympathy @olafthewise
I know what it's like to be out of work for a long time, and how we can allow that to be the measure us. Know you have worth, hold your head high, don't let your partner talk down to you. In fact, I find not having a job the hardest job of all, cos you have to hold it together, always remind yourself of your worth, and look for a job - bloody hard work! Things do change, and every day is a miracle. And your being awesome for staying away from the addiction, be strong!

balanced

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #91 on: December 03, 2016, 12:43:09 PM »
Supersonic,
Thanks for sharing...I'm at 1122 days PMO/MO free, and well into my new life, and I agree with all of your points.

I wish your point #2 was better understood and adhered to by many on this forum, lapsing is a killer and a no-lapse policy is essential to making this change to our behavior.

I also appreciate the details in #3, most of which resonated with me when I think back on the reasons for my success.

Thanks again for sharing. I have not shared a success story of my own, but I enjoy seeing much of it in yours!

ezra banks

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #92 on: December 27, 2016, 12:47:05 AM »
Hi,supersonic .Your journals makes me strong.I am a christian and understand how it feels to sin.Im on my 7th day of rebooting(i have just broken my personal record the last 6 months) since i joined this site.I am so determined, i know i am already out cause the last two days i had the worst chaser effects but i refused completely

Supersonic

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Re: 3 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #93 on: December 29, 2016, 06:17:40 PM »
Hi guys,
thanks for encouraging one another.

Know that a lot of guys have overcome this addiction.

1) - If you can, journal on a site such as this one

One thing which helped me immensely back when I started, 
was journaling on a site similar to this one.
I gained a couple of buddies, and I was accountable to the people on that site.

It also gave me a good insight into my progress,
because I was able to read back my posts from weeks,and months ago..
I paid special attention to BIG URGES, BIG TEMPTATIONS,
If you will DENY a BIG TEMPTATION, and then journal about it,
YOU WILL SKYROCKET YOUR SUCCESS!!! - Because you will analyse what happens within you,
you will shine a light into the dark territory where the enemy attacks.

-------------------------

2) - KEY to go from "2-month success", to FOREVER SUCCESS:

This is a crazy journey,
once you get started,
and are well on your way,
there will be moments when you will think,
now I am free,
its been 3 weeks, or 2 months,
and now I don't even feel an urge
for this slimy evil things anymore..
That is a great sign,
BUT,
that is a small victory,
in a big war,
stay on guard!
ALL THAT MATTERS IS,
how you will react just 1 time ,
perhaps 3 weeks from now.
Perhaps 3 months from now! - yes it may take a long time
Devil will prepare a perfect attack,
many days, weeks, or months later,
and your body will want to do it,
with EXTREME desire,
BUT, you have to say NO!
That will be the big challenge.

It's like a big finals game. Regular season doesn't matter anymore, you have to get that CHAMPIONSHIP! :)
So, it will come down to a 1 or a few moments. Just like in the NBA Playoffs or something.
Maybe a finals game 7 in semi-finals , and a game 7 in the finals. This are the moments that matter.
You can win your own MVP and Title.
Don'l let the devil get the rewards instead.
He will drop you as low as he can.

For me, it happened approx. 3 months after I stopped, a huge temptation,
and then, one big one was approx 1 year after! - yes, even after 1 year it can happen , - THOSE WERE MY GAME 7s. And I won.
I overcame A HUGE URGE, A HUGE TEMPTATION to FALL BACK INTO THE EVIL TRAP
Secret: It wasn't me, I wouldn't stand a chance without God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
But even with the Gospel, it is still on us to do what is right. Gospel gives us direction, and help from above.
Without the Gospel I wouldn't have the right perspective, and thus probably I wouldn't have the right motivation to succeed.
That is why if you can, read the Bible , and pray as much as it is possible, every minute counts.
But even the non-Christians may benefit greatly from this tips here, because it is the principles for success.


Also, when you are aware of how things work, and you are prepared for it,
you will have fewer BIG temptations. I think that is why I had so few..
I was COMPLETELY RESOLUTE to NEVER NEVER FALL.
So, then those moments with BIG temptations are a lot less frequent,
because you are prepared, and simple "attacks" don't work.

So, in the meantime , don't get too comfortable and satisfied with your beginning success,
Stay RESOLUTE , stay ON GUARD,
BE PREPARED!

When that time comes, be happy that it did, and SAY NO with confidence :)

The urge will disappear when you deny it, and yes it may be a couple of times,
 but if you fall for it, it will keep reappearing!

And remember,
IT IS THE WISEST DECISION TO STAY CLEAN
to BE PURE,
and,
to treat this evil as if you are allergic to it,
as one who is seriously allergic to some food
which may lead him to die,
he will NEVER even consider that food,
and it will not be difficult for that person not to eat it.
Easy decision.

(PS: strong sexual desire is healthy! , but you can choose NOT to LUST , you can have that victory in Jesus! TRULY!)

I want to help Christians and non-Christians also,
but for Christians, as you know, I want to encourage you,
Jesus is called the Savior not because he saves from hell,
but because he saves from Sin!
And him whom He frees, is free indeed!
In Him, you have the Salvation, in Him is LIFE and
don't worry about how you feel, just BELIEVE and
DO WHAT IS RIGHT and
you will be blessed and you will come closer to Him.
And FULLNESS OF JOY = BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD.
(Psalms 16:11),
God bless
« Last Edit: December 29, 2016, 06:35:19 PM by Supersonic »

byhisgraceillmakeit

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Re: 4 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #94 on: December 16, 2018, 11:37:25 PM »
Dude, God bless you for writing this post! I remembered reading when I first joined here back in 2016 and I cried at how beautiful and sincere your words were. I recently came back here because I fell into temptation recently and I knew I needed to read this (as well as do some other things to get back on track). I never watched porn again since end of 2015 and I’m very proud of that! But I dabbled back into masturbation here and there (not like anything crazy like when I was extremely addicted but more then what I would’ve liked) and I’m gonna get back on track ASAP. So thanks so much for your inspiring words, I now realize why over the last few months I’d been struggling with masturbation after going so long not even considering as an option. And the answer is because I started to get a little too cocky, like “I’ve beaten this thing”, but now I better understand that I have to fight every single day. Never forgetting that even in times where I’m not feeling tempted, that this is just my reality. So I will carry my burdens to the cross and come back stronger than ever! God as my witness. Reading this has really ignited a fire in me to get back on track just like it did when I first read this couple years back. I just have to put back into practice the things that made me successful in the first place

olafthewise

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Re: 4 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
« Reply #95 on: March 25, 2019, 05:28:55 AM »
Please continue to read my posts here and back up what you see from scripture.
I am still porn free. Temptation is everywhere, I recommend that the weakest of you all avoid pinterest and tumblr. I deleted the link on my phone and any accidental riske' pics are avoided. Remember, a serious man will look to the enemy's strategy and consider his methods before walking into (web surfing into) a trap that causes relapse.

My only update is that my wife's vaginal pain during intercourse is alleviated by a hormonal cream applied at night on stomach and wrist (really). Last year 2017, she added some other supplements along with the creme.... and...well...she attacked me...it was great!
still some disrespect issues but we're working things out.
I have a $14/hr job...…its what I settled with. I'm gonna try computers again for a job...wish me luck.