Author Topic: Not gonna go it alone  (Read 12083 times)

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #150 on: April 05, 2019, 10:04:07 PM »
Awesome guys let's do it! It's great to see others do it and motivating. Seeing you guys getting to 30 and talk about it has me motivated too, looking forward to getting there as well!

Pichael- So true, there is something odd about the day before. I used to get streaks of 29 over and over, some bizarre mental process at work. I never was aware of it but maybe subconsciously I had thoughts like you mentioned. Who knows.

Bluehero- Great bro, as before keep it up! The key is we just all gotta stay diligent and remember all the great benefits we'll have by getting rid of this nasty habit! Sure, it'll take work and diligence, but if you can do the first 30 days you can do the next! If anything the brain pathways of PMO should be weakened and the prefrontal cortex stronger! There definitely is a nice confidence boost to planning something (get 30 days) then doing it

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #151 on: April 07, 2019, 06:52:13 PM »
Thanks for the support, everyone!

Last night was a later night than I planned on, so I didn't have time to post, but I'm here on day 31! It's definitely exciting, but I'm also being careful: it's good progress towards the real goal, but it's not something I'm going to get too worked up about. Now I'm making my way to 60. But mostly, I'm just trying to go one day at a time. Like I want to get to 60, but I'm just focusing on today for now. I know in the past I've gone a long time and sort of thought that I was cured so it would be fine to fantasize or to get lazy. I'm learning that I can't afford to think like that, so I'm happy I've made it this far but still being careful.


@BlueHeronFan I anticipate that once you see this post you would've reached 30 days, so congrats! It's a HUGE step in the right direction, but in the bigger picture, a small step towards a lifestyle and mindset change that will consistently benefit yourself and the people around you! You are a great model and motivator, I am currently on day 8 so I hope to hit my 30 days April 27th!



And thanks so much, man! Really, it means a lot. This addiction has been my own private nightmare for so long. I can't really say how glad I am that my struggle is doing some good by helping others along too. You motivate me a lot too, and the 27th is real close!

We've got this, gentlemen!


Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #152 on: April 07, 2019, 08:22:11 PM »
Congrats!!!! That is awesome. I totally know what you mean, in terms of thinking it's okay to do this or that. The key is we have to be vigilant forever imo. But that is not such a bad thing. Eventually it becomes easier and easier, and perhaps and can be a good thing. I imagine a few years down the road, our brains/sexuality can function even better then those who didn't have this problem since we are really really doing everything right and put work into it.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #153 on: April 07, 2019, 08:51:43 PM »
I feel exactly the same way @quitforeverthenwin, we may be "addicts" for life but at the same time we have the opportunity to channel that energy into something positive for ourself and others. There have been tons of addicts (Danny Trejo comes to mind) that have the mindset that "everything good that's happened to them has been a result of them doing good for others" and being able to be constantly vigilant will definitely benefit those around us in the long run, even if it means we have moments of pain from not acting on our impulses from time to time. Even now, I feel support from y'all and am motivated to show my support for you guys, a genuine feeling I wouldn't have had in my PMO days. Slow changes are upon us; it's exciting and I can't wait for what's in store for the future!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #154 on: April 08, 2019, 06:43:06 PM »
You guys are great, thanks again! The changes are incremental, but they are real, and that's what counts.

The urges have been strong and persistent today. Urges, random fantasies, quick glances at women. It's been a real fight today, but I feel a little more in control than I have in the past. That can be dangerous: I don't want to be overconfident. But I also have a secret weapon that I didn't have the last time the urges hit hard. I've got OpenDNS installed on my devices. Not an invincible solution, but a serious protection to help me not do something I'll regret.

But, like I said before, this is the real test. Going 30 days without PMO is something I do almost naturally. It's getting the second round of 30 days that will really show me what I'm made of. This is the 30 days that counts.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #155 on: April 08, 2019, 09:35:08 PM »
Stay strong man, you got this! Like you said, your streak has given you the ability to control what you can control when difficult times come, so just keep riding it out....better days are ahead

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #156 on: April 08, 2019, 10:55:06 PM »
Yeah bro keep it up! Remember you're in this for the long haul! Having these urges now is an opportunity to kick this addictions ass and rewire your brain for the better. The urges ALWAYS pass eventually and a lot of times you'll feel great when you get through them.

Any thing you can do to help? Like can you go HARD on an activity for like a few hours tomorrow that tends to weaken urges.
For me it can be:
Work out for a long time
Be around people socializing (even if it feels shitty) for a long time
Straight up just staying out the house.

If you have a got to activity that weakens the urges it's a good time to use it! Keep it up man, get those next 30 days. Your prefrontal cortex is stronger then it was 30 days ago so you can do another 30 for sure.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #157 on: April 10, 2019, 07:18:33 PM »
Thanks for the continuing support! I made it through. It helps that yesterday was super busy: it didn't give me a chance to worry about the urges, and they quieted right down.

I definitely need to remember to stop and do something else intensive for a while when the urges hit. For some reason, I always forget that I can put things on hold and just get myself in different headspace. I usually end up trying to muscle through it, which isn't really effective. Thanks for the reminder!

I made it through today as well. I've got a cold or something, so I'm not feeling too great, but I actually feel better emotionally than I have in a while. I've been more deliberate about making plans and goals for each day, and actually writing them down and crossing them out. It's been really satisfying the last few days to finish my day with a completed list. There's still a lot to do, and it still feels a little overwhelming, but things don't feel so out of control. So that's something else I should remember to do more.

Talk to you all tomorrow!

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #158 on: April 10, 2019, 07:50:55 PM »
Thats great man! Great reminder too that being busy can make things soo much easier sometimes.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #159 on: April 11, 2019, 12:28:45 PM »
Great job getting through the tough days man! I think I'm in a similar position that you were a couple days ago with the strong and persistent urges, and things feel especially overwhelming when that happens. I just try to remind myself to take things one at a time, try to completely put my attention into the moment (in a relaxed way) and let the urges come and go.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #160 on: April 11, 2019, 07:29:24 PM »
Another busier day, so it's been mostly smooth sailing. It was especially warm, though, so the women around town were wearing more revealing stuff. I don't want to blame them since it's not their fault that I have the problems I have. But I did catch myself looking a little more than I would have liked.

Turns out is easier to be careful about where I'm looking when everyone is dressed in heavy coats from head to toe. It's a good reminder that I'm going to have be extra careful, though, moving forward if I want to stay on track.

That dopamine loop is itching still but not as bad as earlier in the week. Hopefully I'll be able to get it to settle down for the weekend.

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #161 on: April 11, 2019, 11:47:02 PM »
Glad to hear the urges are easing off. I feel like each time we get through one of those periods it is sooo good for our recovery, really breaks that negative loop

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #162 on: April 13, 2019, 01:13:33 PM »
For sure, the one thing that's constant is the fluctuation of urges; sometimes they will be almost nonexistent, but sometimes they will be strong...it is constantly changing but overall is weakening in power day by day, even if it doesn't feel like it.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #163 on: April 13, 2019, 07:20:29 PM »
Mostly homework today.

A few smaller urges, though. What happened was that Pinterest, which I've started using recently for recipes, was trying to suggest women's fashion stuff. Nothing pornographic, but still women (and dopamine). I realized today that I had started logging on on the off chance there would be a model in the feed instead of just going for the recipes, so I spent some time blocking suggestions and trying to retrain the algorithm. I think it and I are both behaving better now, but I'll keep an eye on it moving forward.

37/60

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #164 on: April 14, 2019, 06:28:59 PM »
A quiet day come and gone. I feel a little bit down, but not for any good reason. Here comes another week!

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #165 on: April 14, 2019, 11:32:27 PM »
Great you noticed that pinterest issue! The sneaky stuff is super important to be aware off before it becomes a new problem.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #166 on: April 15, 2019, 01:02:20 PM »
Yeah good catch! If it ever gets too bad you can always just create a new pinterest account, sort of like a reset with only the things that you want to appear.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #167 on: April 15, 2019, 06:37:34 PM »
Thanks, guys!

It was another quiet day, just homework for me. The urges have settled way down from last week, which is a good way to start a Monday.

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #168 on: April 15, 2019, 07:51:42 PM »
Glad to hear they settled!

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #169 on: April 16, 2019, 10:56:00 PM »
Keep it up! It's always nice to have those peaceful days, makes the little things in life easier to enjoy

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #170 on: April 18, 2019, 08:13:16 PM »
Busy couple days, but still making progress. 42 days and counting.


Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #171 on: April 19, 2019, 06:19:02 PM »
Nice!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #172 on: April 20, 2019, 07:37:01 PM »
Still busy, but I'm getting things done. And staying on track, recovery-wise.

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #173 on: April 20, 2019, 11:42:59 PM »
Well, thats good. Plus sometimes being busy can make things easier, clears the mind.

pichaelthompson

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #174 on: April 22, 2019, 10:09:00 AM »
Good to hear! Being busy totally helps with urges, but I often feel (for me) that urges can potentially come unexpectedly once the business dies down, if you're used to being busy all the time. The plus side is you'll be farther from your addiction once if that does happen in the future, so you have more than enough strength and willpower to get through it!