Author Topic: Not gonna go it alone  (Read 1118 times)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #75 on: February 10, 2019, 08:18:08 PM »
Today was a quieter day. I had an intense conversation with a friend about some conflict that we've been having. The only thing I wanted to do was run away, but we got it done and worked some things out, so I think things will be better moving forward.

I've also had a couple of dreams lately about relapsing. More specifically, I've dreamed that I watched porn and then felt terrible and was trying to figure out what I was going to do next. I was very relieved in the morning to wake up those days and realize it was only a dream. So I guess, on some level, my subconscious is also getting on board with this process.

Let's see what this week will bring

blueRaccoon

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #76 on: February 11, 2019, 05:43:10 AM »
I have had similar dreams too. Wondering if it is common among rebooters? ???

Pete McVries

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #77 on: February 11, 2019, 06:01:50 AM »
It definitely is. Very often, I dream about PMO or masturbating.

changemylife

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #78 on: February 11, 2019, 06:39:03 AM »
It definitely is. Very often, I dream about PMO or masturbating.
I had dreams about watching a P scene but not on computer, I was around, like looking at them in the room or something.

Rakses

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #79 on: February 11, 2019, 09:37:37 AM »
I also witness such a dreams sometime but I manage to hold myself away from temptation during a dream. Part of conciousness remains with me :)
I want to know the nature of my life.
For that i need to be sober, clean, clarified, perceptive.
All that is impossible unless i quit my addictions.
Szukalski said "Sexual energy is the one that make human being create. How i am suppose to create myself if i waste it on PMO. I have to stop.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #80 on: February 11, 2019, 07:38:47 PM »
Yeah, it's weird. I've definitely had PMO related dreams, but the relapse-guilt ones are a new thing. They're not exactly pleasant, but I guess it's good to wake up feeling relieved instead of having cravings.

Oh well, today was also quiet. Just did homework all afternoon.

Kaingang

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #81 on: February 12, 2019, 08:36:35 AM »
I also usually have these dreams (nightmares) about relapses.

Good to know that your days have been quiet. I hope you've solved the issues with your friend. Dialogue is always the best solution. But we know that this is not always easy to do. Anyway dialogue and exposing what is bothering always ends up helping and causing a certain relief.

Rebooter2019

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #82 on: February 12, 2019, 01:31:38 PM »
I actually had one not that long ago! I don't remember when though! It can be really disturbing when you wake up and you're like " Have I relapsed?" Then you realise it was just a dream!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #83 on: February 15, 2019, 09:27:09 PM »
It's been an exhausting week. Somehow it's Friday, but I never quite feel like I caught my balance. I took the afternoon easy and made some good progress on a couple personal goals. I put school on hold for the day, and I think that was a good call. Here's to rest and recovery, and probably a busy day again tomorrow.

But things are looking up. I'm in better headspace at the end of the week than I was at the beginning.

blueRaccoon

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #84 on: February 16, 2019, 05:58:14 AM »
It's a good idea to take a short break and get yourself balanced again when things just seem overwhelming. Happy to see that you progressed on your personal goals. Keep on progressing :)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #85 on: February 17, 2019, 07:48:02 PM »
Thanks for validating my decision to slack off a little.

Yesterday was busy again, but today was another "day off." Hopefully this week is less crazy than last. I've noticed a couple more porn-oriented thoughts in the last couple of days. Not an emergency, but definitely something for me to be aware of. Those kinds of thoughts never go anywhere good if I let them have their way.

Rebooter2019

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #86 on: February 17, 2019, 08:25:19 PM »
Thanks for validating my decision to slack off a little.

Yesterday was busy again, but today was another "day off." Hopefully this week is less crazy than last. I've noticed a couple more porn-oriented thoughts in the last couple of days. Not an emergency, but definitely something for me to be aware of. Those kinds of thoughts never go anywhere good if I let them have their way.

I notice that when I'm tired I have more of these. When I'm tired and have free time even more. Good thing to let them have their way my friend since I do that they don't become overwhelming anymore.

Stay strong my friend and take it easy. Some time of with friend can help too :)

BlueHeronFan

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #87 on: February 18, 2019, 08:48:43 PM »
Thanks!

I definitely think I've been muscling through stress lately rather than actually taking care of it, and I don't think that's very healthy. I've been trying to slow down the last couple of days and take better care of myself. It's the start of another busy week,  but I had some more downtime today than I've been letting myself have. And I think that's a good thing.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Kaingang

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Re: Not gonna go it alone
« Reply #88 on: February 19, 2019, 06:18:41 AM »
It's always good when there are some breaks during the day to rest your head. after 2 to 3 hours of hard work it's good some short pauses and allow yourself to have a coffee, eat something healthy or do some stretching. take care and have a good week!