I've read on YBOP that P could cause anxiety or, at least, increase it. Some people have reported a big reduction or complete disappearance of anxiety after quitting P so this is definitely something to keep an eye on.
Thanks! I appreciate your support. I got myself with some sexual fantasies a couple of times today, and I just sort of said to myself, "What are you doing, man?" And I was like, yeah, what am I doing? So I moved on and did other things. It was interesting: I didn't have to fight myself, just catch myself and move on. Other than that, it was a pretty relaxed day. I went into town, looked around some stores, remembered I was poor, and then came back home and hung out. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
That's outstanding progress, man! You moved past the fantasies just like that. 100 days, man! I have 4 days only but I'll get there too. Wait for me.
Well done buddy! I'm almost up to a week and 100 days feels so long away. How much of a difference have you felt from when you first started?
I know I've definitely gone back and forth on counting days. In the past it's been helpful and motivating up until the point that I relapse and then I quit for a while. Part of what I'm working on now is trying to do all the things that have helped (because I usually give up on things after a relapse and then keep relapsing), and counting has helped in the past. For me, it's also helpful to have some kind of goal (and not just count) because it has helped motivate me through urges the last couple months. When the urges strike a few days before my goal, it's easier to hang on for a couple days in order to achieve my goal and then the urges settle down. The other part of counting, at least earlier in the year, is that it helped me realize that my relapses were happening more often and more regularly than I thought. I would have thought that I was easily going months at a time without a relapse, but counting forced me to realize that I was more on a 20-day cycle of relapsing. So in that way, it's been a helpful diagnostic just to see where I really am.
I hope to be here still going strong to celebrate 100 with you, too! One thing that really helped me was setting smaller goals. Instead of trying to give up PMO for 100 days, I just focused on giving it up for 30 (honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to go 100 days without PMO). Since I was relapsing about once a month, 30 seemed right. After I did 30, I aimed for 30 more. Just keep going, one day at a time, know your patterns, and work on beating them.
Thanks, man! 100 days is getting close (less than a week now). I mentioned a few days ago that some things in my life right now are kind of a mess, so I've been feeling stressed out and overwhelmed by a lot. So I haven't been feeling my best. But I am feeling more in control of myself and less like I need PMO to function.
Thank you very much for your encouraging words on my journal! You have come further than most on here and do extremely well analyzing your emotions and possible obstacles, been reading through the journal entries and can relate to this conclusion:I've been stuck in the 20-day-cycle too and to my experience counting days helps to identify long term patterns of the brain (week 3-4 are the most difficult). Now that you are three months clean it's all about not becoming careless... keep treating this addiction as if it was day 1 and never underestimate our "enemy"! It took years to develop this addiction and they can't be undonde in just 90 days, but now you made it through the worst part and it's up to you - I'm sure you are going to make it to the "success stories" and finally overcome this addiction!
You know, maybe this is a good strategy sometimes. "I don't think I could go for 100 days without PMO so let's try for 30 and then if I can't go on, I'll give up." Then you reach 30 days and say: "I've succeeded in stay away for 30 days, I know I can, maybe I could go another 30."
Congrats man! Getting real close to your goal. Working out is great for sure, I have seen studies that show it is better then anti depressants by far for anxiety and depression. Any exercise classes near you? Can be social and make it easier plus not have to deal with youtube nonsense.
The brain has a great way of making us "forget" how awful some pleasurable things made us feel. It's like when I got drunk long time ago, I felt sick, the hangover was killing me and I swore I would never ever drink again, only to get drunk again after a month. I "forgot" how I felt back then. The thought of feeling sick like that again now seemed a piece of cake. All I wanted was the pleasure. The same with all addictions, I guess. People quit hardcore addictions only to be back after a year. It's absolutely fucking disgusting what's going on. That's why we have to be mega careful.
I completely relate to this, and I would like to add that I think that in the short term the more times we make a mistake it is easier to not make it again as it is more ingrained in our minds not to do it again, but in the long term it makes it way harder. As we move away from our addiction we are going further and further into uncharted and uncomfortable territory. For me I have done a couple of 90 day streaks so this might be slightly more comfortable than someone that hasn't , but once I reach 150 days or so (hopefully) I will be completely new to the feeling of going without PMO (or just PM) for so long. Entering this uncharted territory makes doing familiar things such as letting urges come and go seem more unfamiliar than usual, so its important to constantly remind yourself to stick with what works even if it doesn't feel like it's working or feels worse than before. You're doing great, keep going strong!
I definitely don't think 100 days is my ticket to freedom, but it is a good first step. I'm definitely going to set a new goal tomorrow in order to keep myself working towards something.
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Topic: Not gonna go it alone (Read 16716 times)
