Author Topic: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot  (Read 2081 times)

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2020, 04:07:10 AM »
Thanks Chris!

I am on ~ day 14 of the 90 day challenge. I have surfed the urges pretty well by:

  • Not today. Delay delay delay.
  • If it ain't real no deal.
  • Better to MO than PMO
  • Positivity in success and setbacks
  • Giving myself a reward at the end of the challenge which I am looking forward to. Something which I'm way more hyped about than watching porn.


Sending best wishes to everyone!  :D
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2020, 04:09:44 AM »
Oh and another thing: this 2 week period has bin fucking bliss. I cannot stress enough that the blood sweat and tears that I put into getting here was 100% worth it. Even if this streak breaks and I have a little set back period, these periods of non-use are absolutely worth the struggle in getting off the launchpad. I'll remember that if and when I experience a setback.

Page 2 hype.  ;D
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #27 on: June 10, 2020, 06:48:21 AM »
I'm really proud of you man, you're doing great. Keep your eyes on the prize... It's more than just the orice
.. But I love that it has positioned itself as a great motivator  ;D

Keep doing your best... Daily victories

Keep pushing back!
Chris

smitdum

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #28 on: June 10, 2020, 09:19:26 AM »
Great job man keep going. few years from now you will thank yourself for showing such willpower. 14 dyas is a great achievement.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #29 on: June 20, 2020, 06:19:19 AM »
Thank you so much for the support guys!

I actually thought I made a post a while ago but must have not posted it or something...

Anyway, coming out of a rut of 4 resets in about 5 days. Now working on getting that big streak up! :)

Staying positive
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #30 on: June 26, 2020, 06:37:00 AM »
Staying positive! Had a breaking point after a lot of set backs in the last week. I have come at it with fresh energy. I have a great opportunity to change up my environment and habits this week so I'm gonna work to get on the right track and coast into that period, using the change of scenario to carry me forward.

Love rereading what I wrote when I was on long streaks, makes it all worth it.

Had a mind blower yesterday. Was feeling quite low and as though as much as I try I keep failing and feeling a tad hopeless. Then it hit me. What would my life look like if I gave up? I imagined that and realised that's orders of magnitude worse than if I just keep bumbling along trying my best. So here I am, just keeping on going, because that's all I can do. And that's enough! :)

Learn, grow, get better, all of that.

To everyone else out there good luck, be kind to yourself :) Try and stay positive.
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #31 on: July 01, 2020, 04:11:31 PM »
Time flies by! I am feeling a little sad and anxious which I put down to withdrawals. However, I am rereading YBOP and I put these down to my brain recovering so it's actually an awesome feeling knowing that I am recovering even as I type this.

I have just had the prompt on a success thread to think about triggers so here's an exercise on working around them.

My triggers are:

Reddit.
Catching glimpses of soft porn and fantasising about it.
Fantasising about porn.

I usually use porn when:

Alone with a computer.
Tired.
In a private place.
Feeling intense urges.

I will fight these triggers and habits by:
Not using reddit (blocked on phone, replacing with news sites).
Blocking recommended YT videos & staying busy and social.
Keeping my pc in a public place.
Not sleeping in the same room as my phone.
Exercising to divert urges.

I wish everyone else the very best of luck and the greatest happiness and success. Be kind to yourself. Message me if you need help / advice / support. I've been there!
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #32 on: July 03, 2020, 06:52:15 PM »
 Keep at ir man! Daily victories for now. With time the withdrawal symptoms would get better and you'd feel more in control

Sanders

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #33 on: July 04, 2020, 11:13:32 AM »
Hey,

Really clear and structured observations and plans you've made in your post. Easy to identify, easy to stop. The earlier in the build-up towards PMO you can avoid it, the better. If the urge keeps being built up continuously it'd be only more difficult to escape from it. I trust that your new approach will bring you some help.

Good luck :)

BlerS

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #34 on: July 06, 2020, 09:35:11 AM »
yeaa blueicetea10!!! keep rocking !!

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #35 on: July 14, 2020, 06:12:49 PM »
It's been a while man, I hope you're doing fine. Waiting for your next post

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2020, 04:21:27 PM »
Thank you for all the support everyone it's so nice to come back from a little time off track and find that people are checking in on me. Thanks especially Chris, we've been in this together for a while now !  ;D

To summarise recent events:
- Had some busy weeks
- Had some good streaks
- Had some setbacks
- Binged quite heavily last night, but overall was quite a positive binge (did not look at shameful or shocking material)

What to take away from this? This is really about long term skill, knowledge and grit and these bumps are all part of the journey. The fact that I can say that was probably my only real binge of this year, and it was a pretty positive one, is a huge statement! It's not all pats on the back though, because there's work to be done. However, I am pretty happy with my progress right now. I do however, really want to see 100 days without porn! I have switched to using a streak tracker, which is partly why I have been less active here, as I have been using that more. However it's always good to come back here and count myself as one of the very fortunate people to have decided to "unplug from the matrix" as I saw someone title their journal.

Also again I said from the start that this will be all ups and downs, and my oh my did I have no idea just how bumpy this road would be. I have had a fistfull of side effects from binging on porn. A huge one: non stop urges to look at women in public, to a level where it's quite frustrating. Just thought that would be worth documenting.

Yadda yadda, that's all from me.

I really hope everyone commenting on my thread, and throughout this forum, and even the world, has a good time coming. I hope you find success on your mission to cut back on digital stimulus and reclaim your natural sexuality. Again, "my DMs are wide open" if you want a private chat about anything I've mentioned.
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #37 on: July 19, 2020, 05:29:19 PM »
Hey hey me again. 1200 views on this thread and I'm super happy to hopefully have helped others by sharing my failures and successes with you all.

State of my reboot: I want to get to 100 days really really bad!

Let's doooooo itttttttttttttttttttt.

Best of luck everyone !!!
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Morganpat

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #38 on: July 19, 2020, 07:45:22 PM »
Good luck getting to 100 days!. In my opinion we shouldn't be too harsh on ourselves when we relapse. The important thing is to reduce the habit one day at a time and to implement a healthy lifestyle step by step.
Good luck brothers
Cheers.

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #39 on: July 22, 2020, 01:16:03 AM »
Yeah, one step at a time. Just focus on daily victories and before you k ow it you'd have surpassed it. Focusing on daily victories means keeping tabs and making sure you're following you routine setup for recovery - meditation, checking in, prayers, contact with spouse or sponsor etc.
Keep pushing back
Chris

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #40 on: July 22, 2020, 01:26:58 AM »
And try to make sure you find things and activities that keeps you busy, it's always harder when your always idle. Have a great porn free day.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #41 on: July 27, 2020, 11:42:37 AM »
Thanks for the comments friends, I totally agree! In fact I have recently started using a day tracker to keep track of daily victories. When I first started out and I was having setback after setback I think having the counter actually hurt more than helped, but now I'm consistently pulling a few days in a row at least the counter is a nice way to track small victories.

State of my reboot: I looked at porn twice in the last week or two. Neither time did I masturbate to it or binge. The first time I used self control which I am proud of, and the second time I got luck and someone barged into my room forcing me to snap out of it moments after I had started.

That puts me back on day 1, but it's a damn good day to be on day 1 ! :)

Feeling pretty good, super glad I have put all this work in and very grateful for my successes and support I have received from others. Next time I'm in the dumps and feeling though, read and remember this: the effort is worth it for how I'm feeling now, and all the happy days.

Lots of love all!
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #42 on: August 14, 2020, 04:44:22 PM »
Hey friends,
Copy and pasting a message to save time on my update.

I have had a strange couple of weeks. The first I hit what at the time felt like rock bottom, relapsing for multiple days in a row and suffering mentally from it. Now it's been over a week and I fought through it all, coming out feeling amazing. I have been using a counter on my phone called 'Reboot' which has the basic functionality I'm after. To get through it I've been keeping really busy and kept my eyes on other parts of life, as well as being honest with my girlfriend about the battle I'm fighting, which has helped.

Here's a good thread.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/i7eoez/i_am_the_end_result_of_a_having_a_porn_addiction/
Love the sentiment that no one is coming to save you, it's up to you, and that I have the power now to take control of what I otherwise would eventually wish I had.

I am getting porn flash backs from 2 or 3 specific scenes, gonna channel that energy into something else and move into a room with someone else! Tips I learnt from other people's success threads here.

What I wrote last time about the pain being worth it for the good times is so true. 'When did people start thinking that it's not ok to suffer for something you want badly.' ~ coach Fitz.

Good luck everyone!
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #43 on: August 16, 2020, 01:57:31 AM »
Good luck

blueicetea10

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #44 on: August 18, 2020, 07:00:35 PM »
** WARNING DESCRIPTION OF PORN USAGE IN RELAPSE**

Just had a huge relapse. Went way back through all my oldest habits including: insta stalking old crushes and friends, looking at interracial cuckoldy cheating  pictures on google images (as actual porn and reddit is blocked in my phone), moved to laptop and went to cuckolding and cheating captions, then back to vanilla photos of girls all on reddit, then back to the cheating stuff I think and finished.

** OVER **

Wow, sorry to give such an in depth description of what happened but honestly I'm tired of hiding and not taking ownership of my actions. I'll need to break down in the future what, why, how etc. I'm using each of these and what kind of insecurities / habits they stem from. In the mean time I will state that I did all of that, those were in fact my actions and I've just gotta get on with what comes next. I'll learn, grow and get better. But, there's no taking back actions. It was literally minutes ago so I'm going to bed now as it's very late. However, I did watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4 by an older guy who has gone 50 years of addiction to porn. He didn't realise he was addicted until he was around 60 and it took him 9 years to recover. That means I have a lot of time to recover! Slightly different because I have grown up with high speed internet porn instead of magazines etc. but still if he can do it then I can too.

He also said:
"There's a big difference between abstaining and recovery." I need to rewatch this video anther time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4

I'm looking at joining a porn anonymous meeting group or something where I can talk to someone face to face about this. I might make another fresh account and look for someone to talk to on the phone. Need to have a real heart to heart with someone who is going through the same stuff.

Good luck everyone! We can all be better! :)
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Chris Oz

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Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« Reply #45 on: August 19, 2020, 12:18:32 AM »
Sorry about that. On PAA- porn addict anonymous ,you can do zoom meetings and make group calls at different times of the week. There's also physical meetings but it's limited with the location. Also you can post on their forum daily. It's a great place to be