Author Topic: Shemale Addiction  (Read 4427 times)

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #175 on: October 13, 2019, 02:51:29 AM »
Day 21:
Feeling pretty sick and shitty
reboot doing good
first day at new job
noticed some girls that were older which I was really attracted to for some reason

started getting hard behind one of them
I couldnt really control myself and also didnt wanna stop the feeling I had towards them
and they were not that much my type but I felt so attracted anyway
feels good

I feel like thats how my body should be when functionning normally



I want to enjoy as much sex as I can in this life
fuck being productive I just wanna enjoy myself most of the time were all gunna die
I'm only doing the reboot to enjoy it more and enjoy it with someone else too so lets not even kid ourselves there

everyone giving the argument that youll have more time if you stop jerking off can fuck off no offense
I get it but damn
if youd rather read a book then have sex kill yourself

Its 3:48 am and im just saying shit right now
dont take anything I say seriously or do, I dont care as long as youre not giving me shit about it on here

still not sure if ima stop jacking off but right now I gotta do 100 days no pmo well see how we feel about this after.thst
gooodnigjt




username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #176 on: October 13, 2019, 12:43:47 PM »
Day 22:
just went on a crazy roadrage
going high speeds, burned a light and screamed in my car as loud as I could while listenning to death metal
I felt possesed  or some shit
Im at the gym now so I can put it to good use

so much anger resurfacing...
I cant control it
its stronger than anything

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #177 on: October 14, 2019, 12:12:35 AM »
about the roadrage, I was still in control and being safe though.. just so you know. anyway, the gym really let off steam
highly recommend if youre really angry
almost snapped some shit on my first two set though
my arms were hurting
you can do so much more at the gym while angry its incredible its like a 20% power gain

anyway enough about that I dont even feel like thinking about this
being pissed off and angry is not vibed I wanna share with people anymore

I try to keep the anger at bay but when I supress it I just become depressed like I have been lately
depression comes when I hold the anger or other emotions inside
and the more I hold it the bigger the unloading of it is

porn wise im doing good
Im flatlining right now which is both good and bad
its good cause I can stack some days for my goals
but its bad cause im in worse shape sexually then I thought

Im quite fucked and need lots of time to heal


feeling bad vibes right  now
the mental and physical is not at its greatest
but ive been much much worse so nothing to worry about

still i never have a reason not to try to feel my best

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #178 on: October 14, 2019, 12:14:52 PM »
Day 23:
Not really in a flatline but kinda
its weird
drove off the gym and I still felt anger inside of me
2 people cut me off at the same time and it really pissed me off
Im thinking of getting a push bar to ram those fucks
people ask me why I drive like an asshole..

anyway I saw a cute teen girl on my way back and she smiled at me
I could see she was attracted to me and it made me feel better, even though shes too young for me

anyway
the anger comes from my body not getting what it wants
I know that now
right now it might be sex

I've notice I become very violent when I'm hungry so I must avoid that

other than that doing pretty good
been posting alot on here cause I dont talk to people and dont feel like talking to people alot so I must empty some thoughts

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #179 on: October 21, 2019, 04:01:25 PM »
30 days

feeling alright

Free-man

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 242
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #180 on: October 22, 2019, 01:55:56 AM »
Congratulations for your first month!!!
You're doing great man.
Keep going on it. Stay strong

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #181 on: October 23, 2019, 12:41:36 AM »
Thanks man

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #182 on: October 23, 2019, 12:51:25 AM »
Almost relapsed right now
its hard not to think about sex when you cant fall asleep
theres a girl at school I cant stop thinking about..

I still like shemales
even though I want to be done with that it wont happen
its there for life
hopefully when I have a gf I wont have to fulfill tranny urges

Johnny Trailer

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1720
  • Personal Text
    everything is either a potato or not a potato
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #183 on: October 23, 2019, 07:52:26 AM »
You are only little over a month on nofap so dont judge your results yet. first two months things usually gets worse, only around 3rd month you will see more regular positive progress but not always. If you dont like your shemale attraction, it will fade away with time and only your natural attractions will remain or come to the surface.

If you are thinking about sex every time you lay down to sleep, thats a prescription for relapse. Why you think about it? Because you are lonely? Bored? What problem you are coping with sex thoughts? Discomfort of laying down in bed? Change the coping mechanism. If you cant sleep, get out of the bed and go for a walk. There is no point in laying in bed and thinking about sex when you cant fall asleep.

Every time you crave porn (think about sex), think about what you are actually feeling? Its probably loneliness or boredom. Maybe sadness and depression, anger?? Whatever, find other ways to give yourself a break. Dont look for dopamine that comes from thinking about sex as a solution that makes you feel better in certain situation. Thats a highway to relapse. Your brain is wired to feel horny and crave porn in a lot of problematic situations because you used porn a lot of times in the past to escape a lot of different things. This escapism mechanism only deepens the problem that you are trying to escape. Look what is behind a craving and deal with it in different ways or you will stay stuck in porn addiction like most porn addicts.

Its hard sometimes for me to explain myself fully in english. Better listen this guy yourself if you wanna get out of the relapse loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J55TZ0JaJXY&list=PL38uJEf-kRcaI0d2I9M_IjGWMFkHk8qCC    and follow the instructions from reboot regimen
My last relapse: 24.Oct.2019 // My total # of relapses in the last 30 days: 2

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #184 on: October 24, 2019, 12:12:52 AM »
actually feel all of these things, depression, lonelyness  boredom and sometimes alot of anger
also when I'm tired I get depressed so thats why I need the most rest I can get

I dont know if I like my shemale attraction
i would prefer being only focused on women

I think extra sexual energy is keeping me awake
I just went to gym and I'm not more tired than usual

I don't know whats behind all these feeling of anger and depression
but Im not enjoying life as much as I would like to
Im kinda just floating through it
I lack drive and motivation

the only thing im pumped and makes me less dead is the gym

and also what progress am I supposed to see?

I can't help myself but think about sex
everyone always talk about having a girlfriend
and I'm not even in the position where I could have one
even if I get one Im not sure shell be able to fill the depressed and empty feeling I live with
but sure life would be better

but another part of me says i should learn to live with myself first

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #185 on: October 24, 2019, 01:00:12 AM »
fuck this
Ill just go to sleep at 2 am every night
ill be depressed and tired but its better than relapsing
ive been way to close from relapsing i cant allow myself to slip
I wanna make it
im serious about this im fucking tired of failing its been like 3 years since i first thought about quitting

no jerking off for 90 days or 2020 lets do this shit!!

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #186 on: October 24, 2019, 07:04:12 PM »
Day 33:
Im aiming for 45 days right now
baby steps baby

Johnny Trailer

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1720
  • Personal Text
    everything is either a potato or not a potato
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #187 on: October 25, 2019, 09:42:47 AM »
Day 33:
Im aiming for 45 days right now
baby steps baby
good numbers, doing good
My last relapse: 24.Oct.2019 // My total # of relapses in the last 30 days: 2

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #188 on: October 26, 2019, 06:38:50 PM »
Day 35:

Feeling more stable now
havent had urges lately





username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #189 on: October 29, 2019, 12:55:54 AM »
Day 38:

one more week and im halfway to the 90 day goal
feeling pretty good
I'm being kinda social at school and at work which I think is good for me

Feeling kinda bad when reading others people journal though
everyone seems to be doing well with girls or atleast having some kind of contact with them and I'm not at all
I will stop reading them and focus on my own progress instead

Anyway I'm not at the point where I can fuck girls yet
but I can still meet some and I think this is a good moment since I'm not so thirsty right now

I will probably get another job wich I have female co-workers soon
I think its the best way for me to meet women

I think I'll show interest without being a try-hard when it comes to women
Its more natural, attractive and shows youre not as needy

If you need to try really hard to get the girl, she probably doesnt have that much interest in you anyway right?


other than that, still thinking about shemales sometimes.
kinda dont feel like people would understand if I told them I like shemales and they would think im gay

but the other part of me wants to be honest and true to the people around me
Im not ashamed to tell people I used to watch shemale porn
but actually sucking a trans is another thing to admit

I'm sure my friends would fuck with me with that if I told them Lol



username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #190 on: October 29, 2019, 09:07:53 PM »
Just watched a video of fearless dan about Kanye West coming out about his porn addiction
I used to kinda hate this guy but now I kinda like him for that
this was unexpected

Believe it or not the no fap movement is still pretty unknown to most people
I think seeing Kanye talk about this will open some eyes

Social media is just as bad imo and we dont realize it
I was just thinking this before watching the kanye vid

we've numbed ourself with it just like we did with porn
and I need to stop using it that much (youtube and shit, so many hours of wasted time)

I think it has a big part to play with boredom and depression
and people around us using it makes it hard for people to socialize with people that are always on their cellphone

I'm so bored man, I feel lifeless
I'm stuck in the same old boring routine
I need to change shit up

I was thinking of going to live somewhere with no technology
like do some kind of social media reboot
but I need to adopt this lifestyle where I live too








username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #191 on: October 31, 2019, 06:36:53 PM »
Day 40:

5 day till im halfway there
no urges lately
going pretty smooth
 70+ days is going to be the hardest part I think
my first reboot ever I relapsed around day 75

I'm feeling kinda angry and irritable
smoking a lil cigar help take the edge off
I know smoking is not good for the body
but it helps me calm down and stay present
its the only bad habbit I have now

I'm still thinking about shemales
but girls not so much unless I see them
I think its cause im not horny enough
I'm planning to get with another trans after the 90 or 100 days maybe if I dont meet any girl

I wannna explore before Im settled with someone
I want to enjoy being with a shemale but a big part of me wants to have a really bad experience so I can stay away from them for awhile and focus on potential partners instead


username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #192 on: November 02, 2019, 06:28:10 PM »
Day 42:

woke up with nut butter all over my bed
first wet dream
cleaned it up and tried going back to sleep but
I couldnt
I was way too horny and started fantasizing
started jacking off then stopped myself 3 times then I got up to try to stop myself but I just had no more willpower to stop

I relapsed
I went back to sleep and had another wet dream after that

I'm not even mad
I tried my best to fight it
I'm not back to square one and I made alot of progress
one porn-free relapse wont do much damage

I'm gunna try to still do the 48 days left trying not to relapse again

didnt expect to relapse this soon
right when I thought I was smooth sailing I get fucked..

but its fine its not about the 90 days
its about changing lifestyle for good
the challenge is only a tool to help
or for people who have a big ego who wanna brag

but props to the people whove done 90 days
thats hard



anyway
if i would jerk off every 42 days quickly without porn thats a win
thats enough to fix my dick

porn is the main enemy

username is not available

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 157
    • View Profile
Re: Shemale Addiction
« Reply #193 on: November 10, 2019, 11:55:09 PM »
Since my last post I shit got out of hand

After my relapse I got horny and looked up trans escorts online
found one but she ended up not being available
long story short I spent all week trying to find a shemale to fuck but all I ended up doing was using those sites like porn
I didnt jerk off to anything but at the end of looking ads up i always ended up jerking off

did that all week then contacted one that I didnt want to fuck cause she looked too much like a dude cause I was desperate and horny
that was today...
I just got back from there and didnt end up fucking him cause he was digusting
that was a dude

like theres no way id hit that,
for me to be attracted I must not be able to tell it ever looked like a man

anyway, I left and he wanted money cause I cancelled and threatened to post my cell number online
I left anyway

I got home like 30 mins ago then received threats by her pimp (or the tranny posing as her pimp idk)
that he took my plate number and he was gunna beat me up
Lol
and also that he followed me home but that was impossible cause hit like 200km/hr on my way back with another dude so I knew he was bluffing

Also I asked to tell him what my plate number was and he didnt respond
the tranny was pissed and called me names when I left the dirty ass motel lol
he wanted 40 bucks for the wasted time
fuck off

Im I scared of a 40 dollar debt beating? nah
and also he cant even find me so good luck fag

...


Other than that the reboot is going pretty shitty as you can see
I gotta stop going on these sites

life in general is also pretty shitty
but not that shitty
Im just depressed and really bored
I'll try to figure a way to get my shit together soon