Author Topic: My journal to recovery- Could use support  (Read 5450 times)

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« Reply #300 on: September 22, 2019, 03:49:35 PM »
That sounds like a good idea...
I honestly forgot most of them at this point lol. The one that makes the most sense, odd as it sounds is leaving my place 3x a day to avoid an urge. This is the biggest thing I am missing, just been basically in the habit of not taking actions I don't feel like taking or of avoiding urges.


Pretty low key day, doing some work stuff on the phone. Went to the beach. On way home had a weak urge. That is a trigger for me... heading home. I get thoughts like "when I get home I will_________". Now home I had a brief thought of this girl I like. For the last week or so that led to a lapse every time, right now there are no healthy thoughts that are remotely sexual.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« Reply #301 on: September 22, 2019, 06:39:47 PM »
Sorry, man. I know, for me, that once a relapse starts it sometimes takes a day or two to work itself out of my system. Sorry to hear it came back with a vengeance, but your honesty is important. Thanks for trusting us with it.

Like Kopp said, do what makes sense. Do what you can imagine doing every time for the rest of your life. This recovery process has been a big process of finding small things that I can stick to long term. For example, I have been learning to meditate for a few years, but it has really become a valuable tool for me in the last couple months. When an urge arises, I just focus on how it feels and then put my attention into my breath. The urge usually goes away pretty quickly when I just refuse to pay attention to the sexual thoughts that come with it. It might come back, but then I can just turn to my breathing again. It's small, simple, and with practice has begun to be something that I do almost automatically.

But I didn't figure that out without plenty of trial and error. Try things out, accept that you might slip up along the way, but keep giving it your best. You'll find what works for you, and that's the most important thing.

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« Reply #302 on: September 22, 2019, 09:48:27 PM »
Thanks! Really looking forward to getting to that level, I think that takes practice. Trial and error as well a simple increased ability to focus... Had a fairly good healthy day. Looked up a sport result for about 3 minutes on my phone, which although small and did not get out of hand, still can be dangerous.

Had dinner with a friend which was nice. Planning to READ until I sleep. No "innocent" thoughts about women, as they are not innocent and led to lapses almost every time lately.