Author Topic: Re-Rebooting  (Read 93 times)

Quit

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Re-Rebooting
« on: August 28, 2019, 04:05:38 PM »
I've struggled with Rebooting before and I stopped using some resources to no avail so I am going to try again. I used to be on this site but I left some reasons but I think I'll head back and take another crack at it. I'm doing better as time goes on with each restart teaching me more and more but I'm coming off of a complete relapse and I don't want to be this way anymore. I'm tired of spending so much time feeding this issue and I want to improve my life for the better. I'm tired of restarting, telling myself no more, and then failing again. It's annoying and I don't want to repeat last year before I even discovered rebooting. It seemed like most of my time was spent PMOing with brief breaks in between. I'm practically spending my whole youth behind the computer screen doing this to women who aren't real and I could never have while addiction-free people my age are interacting with each other and having relationships and whatnot. That needs to be me too.

So a brief overview of the things I've been doing. I am going to counseling, both group, and individual. The group is for social reasons unrelated to PMO but the individual counseling is where I dissect a lot of these PMO problems. I actively work out and have the ability to spend a lot of my time in a social setting surrounded by people which can prevent me from looking at P (I refuse to be the guy who whips out porn in public because that's weird). My schedule is really busy so that keeps me off the computer but the downtime and relaxation time is where it gets me. I've been wrestling with rebooting for about a year so I'm not new and know a fair deal about it. It just appears that I need some extra support and resources to help me. I'm going to aim to journal on here at least once a week or when I'm feeling tested. Let's hope this reboot effort is the one that finally gets me out of this addiction.


Arthur2

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Re: Re-Rebooting
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2019, 04:18:43 PM »
Hello and welcome back here.

My name is Arthur and i started i think 3 weeks ago to write here. Right now i am on day 6 of hard mode and i want to do it forever.
I have learned so much about myself and my addiction since i started to write here, and i feel like i have way more help since i started here.

In order to increase the accountability, i suggest you write daily here.
At least that is what i do and it keeps me busy and focused on not relapsing when i take rest.

Because i am like you : the times that i relax and rest are the times i can be vulnerable. So instead of having nothing to do, i write here.

And besides that, if you know that you are gonna write daily, it will help you not to relapse, because everyday you will have in mind to report a victory at the end of the day and not to report a relapse.

Good luck.
You have tough times ahead but tremendous benefits are coming your way.

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Re: Re-Rebooting
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2019, 11:39:53 AM »
Nice to meet you. I would love to write here daily but I gotta be realistic with my schedule. I've thought about writing here when I'm feeling at risk, like right now, beyond that once a week goal. That goal is also more of a minimum guideline for me. I intend on writing here more than that but I just don't want to claim I will post here daily when I may not be able to. I posted daily when I used to be on this site but I had some more time then. I am a college student so things are a little messy time-wise. But I will take your suggestion into account. If I got the free time and I'm having a rough go of it alone, I may just switch back to daily posts and make it happen.

I've tried different approaches since I started Rebooting. I tried hard mode and no PMO with occasional MO if I can't focus. One thing I learned is that it is very important that I do hard mode for at least a month. Withdrawals hit me the hardest during the first 2 weeks or so and that 3rd and 4th week I feel is necessary idle time that may or may not carry into the standard 90 days. That being said I've never gone more than 15 days clean due to rookie mistakes like testing my resolve with exposure or entertaining utilitarian MO too much. While in the moment that didn't cause me to fail, it invited a slippery slope that resulted in a reset or in a few cases a complete relapse. But every time I fail I learn more about what works for me and what doesn't. I wish you luck on your journey. Stay strong and stick to your goal because the benefits of PMO don't hold a candle to the benefits of being in control of your life.

Arthur2

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Re: Re-Rebooting
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2019, 07:36:21 PM »
Yes thank you for the encouragement.

Frankly, if you are too busy to write here, it is a very good sign for you, because being busy is a major key on the nofap journey.

Also avoid at all cost to even start that sliplery slope.

You have to learn how to recognize the slightesttought of PMO in your brain and shut it down as soon as it comes. Don' t entertain it even a bit.

And if you can' t distract yourself by lets say doing something else, because it is at night and your cant go out, at least don' t touch you ever and don' t start "doing" anything.

God bless your journey.

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Re: Re-Rebooting
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2019, 06:39:37 PM »
It was absolutely crazy past few weeks. Very stressful but because of the stress, I wasn't able to build the momentum I needed to keep pushing towards my reboot. Things are starting to slow down and I've been able to think about myself and what I need to do. I've done a lot of self-development and I'm trying new things and I feel very mentally strong because of it. That's why official I've decided to do hard mode. I feel like my past willingness to entertain "utilitarian" MO hasn't helped me any further on my journey. I don't like the idea of no sex because I fitting to start putting myself back out there. But I have to understand what I want to happen vs. what I need to happen. I need to beat this habit and I want to beat it now. So I'm going to go all in.

Arthur2

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Re: Re-Rebooting
« Reply #5 on: Today at 06:01:19 AM »
Yep. I believe hard mode is the way to go.
Good luck.