Author Topic: just_Quitting_P_keeping_MO  (Read 295 times)

tonythepony

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just_Quitting_P_keeping_MO
« on: April 22, 2020, 03:46:19 PM »
Hello!
I'm 42 y.o. and stuck. Life ahead is getting shorter and I really cringe at the thought of wasting more time like this.
I'm 36 hrs into withdrawal now and feeling a bit out of myself, dizzy, watery eyes, social phobia, and of course the thought just go watch some keeps popping in my mind. I'm not craving, but that thought just appears randomly in the middle of any other thought! It interrupts many times.
Just been reading and writing about the subject all day to keep focused.
Didn't use yesterday for the first time so today I woke up less "hangover" than usual which was good.
Also my movements are jerky today... Feel clumsy and my head is starting to ache... But my brain feels really weird.
I'm not going to stop wanking as I find it good for me. It's just the images that make lose an unbelievable amout of time, energy, drive, empathy, willingness, courage, etc... Cos I can't stop or control or cut down once I start. If I think "oh if I do it for just one hour I'll be ok", the result will be (vast experience on this) unpredictable. There's no telling. I may be there for 18hrs straight as has happened in the past... And then I cry of despair and bewilderment, and confusion cos I can't control myself, as I try to understand what just happened.
I've tried no MO in the past and found it useless and didn't identify at all with the reports from other guys who did that. I tried it for 2yrs and it was horrible. Never again. Socially it was worse than porn. On top of being completely antisocial I was very angry anxious paranoid I loathed people and having to just say hi to a woman was horrible... I got to the point where my bro introduced me to a sexy woman in a party and I felt so horny and anxious that I turned away and left without talking to her... Very embarrassing for everyone... The confidence and joy others talk about, I never got that. Just complete lack of empathy and bottled up aggressiveness. So no MO, never again... I regret I ever tried it. Just want to quit the porn.
I'll come back tomorrow and write some more...

jixu

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Re: just_Quitting_P_keeping_MO
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2020, 07:21:49 AM »
Hi Tony.  At the end of your post you said you would be checking back in-how have the last few days been going? You are off to a good start with the 36 hours.  There are bumps and difficulties for all, especially at the beginning.  Stay with it friend!

Rookie

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Re: just_Quitting_P_keeping_MO
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2020, 08:59:53 AM »
36 hrs is a long stretch for an addict. While not 100% recommended, you may have to use one day, off the next, on the next, off the next 2...and keep decreasing your usage. This is exactly why we need to quit this devastating habit. It ruins our lives, as well as the victims on the other end of the camera.

You have a few folks here that are ready to encourage you, but if we don't know where you are, it's difficult for us to know from which angle to encourage you.

mr.slurps

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Re: just_Quitting_P_keeping_MO
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2020, 02:38:56 PM »
Hi,  I'm also curious to see how you're doing. We're at opposite ends of the spectrum  I've been edging to p but no o.
That's not been working for me. I'm wondering if I should experiment w/ your approach.
Let me know please.