Author Topic: Time to put the pen to paper  (Read 2228 times)

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #50 on: January 27, 2019, 08:55:46 AM »
Day 37

Feeling a lot more temptations and fantasizing more since we are hung over from last nights dinner party. This wednesday I’ll be alone for 3 weeks, just got to prove to myself that I can make it on my own home alone.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #51 on: January 28, 2019, 09:01:40 AM »
Day 38

Almost 40, can’t believe that. Never gone without pmo for this long for the last 20 years. I should feel happy about myself, but it still is a burden right now. No dreams about pmo or anything related the last couple of nights.
Urges haven’t been as strong today.

PE30

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #52 on: January 28, 2019, 11:02:02 AM »
Brilliant! Keep going.
Porn free since 2 February 2018.

Fighting on.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #53 on: January 29, 2019, 11:24:32 AM »
Thanks!

Day 39
Today I’ve felt a little low, not so many urges. Had sex with my girlfriend yesterday, felt really good but I’m thinking too much resulting in some kind of anxiety where I over analyze or check my emotions. I know it’s great but I need to alow myself that everything doesn’t have to be perfect everytime. I can’t be on top everyday.
I think my thinking patterns has been a little black/white.
Keeping on fighting.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #54 on: January 30, 2019, 10:46:42 AM »
Day 40

Ever since my girlfriend left home for vacation, I’ve been getting this urge to pmo. Heightened anxiety and feeling stressed. I just need to prove that today can be like yesterday, If I could keep away then there’s no difference, but the urge is stronger.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #55 on: January 31, 2019, 10:49:33 AM »
Day 41

I did it yesterday, home alone without pmo.
Urges got stronger, but I don’t want to give in to them.
It’s just, all the years I’ve been thinking about quitting. But I was scared to quit..
I need to constantly remind myself about why.. I believe 90 days is a good start.
But I need to stay away for the rest of my life.. It’s a great goal. Hey one week is a great goal when your down there.. We all know that. I’m going to have to keep fighting this for the rest of my life now. Feels good to come here and write, thanks to everyone on here!
I won’t let my guard down

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #56 on: February 01, 2019, 08:48:20 AM »
Day 42

Got urges, and they feel stronger now during the weekend. If I can stay busy they calm down, and it’s easier to handle. Get these pictures of things I’ve watched and fantasies.
I’ll keep myself busy.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #57 on: February 03, 2019, 07:41:43 AM »
Day 44

When I was drunk and got to bed I went on to some sites and watched a few pictures, did the same when I woke up. But have stopped myself.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #58 on: February 04, 2019, 05:49:51 AM »
44 days and I relapsed. I can’t believe myself...
Need to restart this.. not happy with myself right now. All those days and weeks with the dizziness, anxiety, crying spells and so on.. and I come home drunk and go on pmo..
 
I’m doing this for myself and for the relationship I’m in, I’m not going to let this ever be a part of my anymore.. I know relapsing happens but I mean 44 days, I’ve never gone so far before.

I’m going to need help, like professionally.

Pete McVries

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #59 on: February 04, 2019, 05:55:22 AM »
Stop drinking while rebooting. All my relapses happened when I was drunk. I get ultra horny while being hungover. Don't drink!
eleven months clean and counting...

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #60 on: February 07, 2019, 11:16:00 AM »
Day 4 since relapse without pmo

Exactly what happened to me, I went to the psychiatrist today and told her about my compulsive habit of pmo. I really miss my girlfriend right now, 2 more weeks alone until she gets home.

CB

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #61 on: February 08, 2019, 09:01:01 AM »
Relapsed yesterday and today..

changemylife

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #62 on: February 08, 2019, 10:34:00 AM »
Stop drinking while rebooting. All my relapses happened when I was drunk. I get ultra horny while being hungover. Don't drink!
On YBOP, there is an article and a part of it discusses how, with time, people could start mistaking anxiety for arousal, because both raise dopamine or something like that. Drinking increases my anxiety and I've PMOed many times because of this. It's one of the reason why I haven't hit the bottle in 38 days. My anxiety is lower.

changemylife

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Re: Time to put the pen to paper
« Reply #63 on: February 08, 2019, 10:40:40 AM »
Look, this is the section of that article:

"Many of these same emotional states (anxiety, shame, shock, surprise) not only elevate dopamine, but each can also boost stress hormones & neurotransmitters (norepinephrine, epinephrine, cortisol). These stress neurochemicals increase excitement while amplifying dopamine’s already powerful effects. Over time a porn user’s brain can mistake feelings of anxiety or fear for feelings of sexual arousal. This helps explain why some porn users escalate into ever more shocking or anxiety invoking porn – as they need that extra neurochemical jolt just to become sexually aroused, or to orgasm."

Drinking increases my anxiety hence the above is true. If you get anxiety from drinking, maybe you should stop.