Author Topic: Discobolus versus Pornography (3 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME  (Read 8259 times)

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (13 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #200 on: November 09, 2019, 08:20:21 AM »
No PMO for 14 days tonight.

Last night I had a dream that I was getting a lap dance. Not sure if it was a stripper or just a woman at a club grinding on me and making out. These sort of dreams always come at some point and then they stop. Always just part of the process.

I thought I’d have sex with the wife last night but she was too tired. So maybe tonight. I’m feeling pretty strong.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and I’m a week away. I was thinking about how it’s not really a habit to not do something so what is the habit I’m forming. For me I think it’s a habit of being aware of my current mental state and taking measures to stay on track which right now is mostly taking the form of journaling and reading here.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 10:27:42 AM by discobolus »

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (14 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #201 on: November 10, 2019, 10:17:51 AM »
No PMO for 15 days tonight.

Had sex with the wife last night and everything worked really well. No ED, no DE and everything felt very sensitive. My wife had a very powerful orgasm. She had been drinking last night at a meet and greet for a political candidate and it’s almost impossible for her to orgasm if she has any alcohol in her system. She says it’s never happened before except for a few times with me.

Now that I have 2 weeks of no PMO it’s time to work on my other addiction, food. After Church today will be spent on grocery shopping, meal prepping, and preparing to hit the ground running in the morning with lifting and back to my 6 meals per day bodybuilding lifestyle.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (14 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #202 on: November 10, 2019, 10:25:03 PM »
I got a lot done today as far as meal prepping, laundry, and getting ready for my work week. I’m planning on getting up at 5 AM weighing myself, taking some progress pictures, eating, and then heading to the gym.

I’ve put 15 days of PMO sobriety together and now it’s time to address other issues.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (15 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #203 on: November 11, 2019, 10:13:58 AM »
No PMO for 16 days this evening.

I got up early took progress pictures and hit the gym. I lifted and then some intervals on the stationary bike.

Feeling pretty good so far. No real temptation yet. I tend to have a little more privacy at work as I can go to my office between seeing patients at the hospital. I typically lock the door in my office because I have a restroom in my office and I’ll use it with the door to the bathroom open (but the office door closed). I think I will just stop locking the office door from this point forward.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (16 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #204 on: November 12, 2019, 11:25:43 AM »
No PMO for 17 days this evening.

I lifted yesterday morning and my body ached all day. I was super tired and even turned down sex last night in hopes of getting more sleep. The problem is I couldn’t sleep because of body aches. I finally took some ibuprofen and got some sleep but then I didn’t go to the gym because I was so tired. Then the hospital called and a patient wasn’t doing well so I got up and went into work a couple hours earlier than I normally would have.

Nothing really bad as far as temptation. I saw The Price is Right on in a patient room and the models looked good and I had a split second thought about looking at porn but it was over in a moment.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (16 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #205 on: November 12, 2019, 04:33:10 PM »
Today has been rough. I’m not particularly stressed out or anxious. I just feel crazy horny. I’ll more than likely have sex tonight but the libido is just high right now.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (16 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #206 on: November 12, 2019, 07:24:23 PM »
Rough day. I just got home from the hospital and they called that they were coding a guy in the ICU. It was the same guy I went in early to see this morning. He didn’t make it and I’m doing some more paperwork and going to head home.

Edit_undo

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (16 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #207 on: November 13, 2019, 02:14:36 PM »
Hey, sorry to read you’re having (had) a rough day. I hope you are well- I’m sure you did everything right for your patient. Have a great day.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (16 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #208 on: November 30, 2019, 12:01:26 AM »
Been a couple of weeks and I haven’t done so well. Got to get back on track. Had a lot of ED issues in the last couple of weeks. Don’t have a lot to say really. Last time I viewed anything was 28 minutes ago.

My wife is going on a trip to Paris next week. She leaves on Monday and gets back Saturday. That will give me a chance to lay off the Viagra for a few days and resensitize to it as well as a few more days than normal of no O since I won’t be having sex.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (0 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #209 on: November 30, 2019, 08:51:20 PM »
1 day No PMO tonight

Nothing to bad as far as cravings today. I’m just highly motivated at this point.

I’ve got to get back on track with my diet and exercise. A lot of my ED clears up when I’m consistently on a good diet and exercise program. This includes cardio, lifting, supplements, and making sure my testosterone and estrogen are in the correct ranges. It’s been so long since I’ve lifted consistently that I’m going to do a slow ramp up of my volume. My workouts next week are going to be just 3 sets to failure for the whole session and then over 6 weeks ramp it up to 18-20 sets per workout.

My wife has been super loving lately. She hasn’t made a big deal at all about the ED. She gets this way when she is pregnant but she’s not we checked this evening.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (1 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #210 on: December 01, 2019, 04:02:15 PM »
2 days no PMO this evening.

Everything is going pretty smooth so far today. My wife leaves for her trip tomorrow and I think I’m really going to miss her.

I found a box by the trash of stuff she was throwing out. It was mostly old lingerie she hadn’t worn in years. She used to wear stuff like that a lot but it’s been really rare in recent years. I understand its because she has gained weight and doesn’t feel confident wearing it. It’s not like our sex frequency is even that much less than when she wore it but somehow seeing it all about to be thrown in the trash somehow bothers me on an emotional level. Almost like it’s a funeral for fantasy or excitement in our sex life. I think that actually bothers me more than I’ve let on. We have frequent sex but it’s pretty vanilla. Oh, I get the occasional blowjob which she is actually really good at and intercourse is almost always pretty good when ED isn’t happening but pretty much limited to missionary but that’s probably my fault. She’s never been a big fan of having oral performed on her but I’ve done it occasionally and she enjoyed it. We’ve gone through periods where we even tried anal but my ED would always make that difficult. There was even a few week time period we’re I’d do a rimjob on her and she really enjoyed it, but it always seemed like these episodes of trying new things would only last for a few weeks and then be off limits again.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2019, 04:04:09 PM by discobolus »

Sean K.

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (1 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #211 on: December 01, 2019, 06:08:56 PM »
I know how you feel there....

Unfortunately, my wife gained a bunch of weight from being on depo provera as birth control for several years and just doesn't feel 'attractive' b/c of the weight gain which makes her uncomfortable enough with her body that she doesn't feel 'sexy'.

Sucks.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love for her to lose the weight...but honestly, I'm more concerned about her overall health....not to mention, I love her regardless and miss the physical intimacy.  But...due to her cancer issues, we haven't been having sex regularly for almost a year and a half now. 

Hang in there....

Any chance you guys could start exercising together?  If she loses a little weight....she may start to feel sexier and more interested in trying new/different stuff.

I need to pick your brain about something.  I'll PM you (assuming that's an option). 

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (1 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #212 on: December 01, 2019, 11:01:08 PM »
2 Days No PMO

We had sex tonight and no ED issues but we are starting to have issues with big bellies getting in the way. She can usually orgasm in cowgirl but tonight it just wasn’t working.

In regards to my previous post we were both in much better shape back when we were being more adventurous.

We went to the 2017 Mr Olympia in Las Vegas and that where we tried anal the first time. I’ve gained about 100 pounds since then and she has gained about 50.

The last year has been rough. Last fall I lost both my grandfathers in a 29 day time period (it could be worse one of my cousins lost both her grandfathers in the same week). Then the first of the year was a major marital crisis which resulted in a sort of quasi separation for a few weeks but we reconciled and are actually doing great now.

After talk of separation hit on January 28th my eating just went into gorging on junk food constantly mode and I stopped exercising. Despite many attempts to get back into the gym I still haven’t done it.

When I was in pretty good shape a couple years ago I was well on my way to my goal of stepping on a competitive bodybuilding stage and now I’m just sloppy fat.

I’ve said it before on here but I’m getting back at it starting tomorrow. My wife says she’s going to hit it hard the next week when she gets back from her trip.

The biggest problem we face is we live in a small town with only 2 gyms neither of which has child care so we can’t train together. I’ve got to come up wish a schedule to get her to the gym 3 days a week. She was doing it before and gaining strength rapidly. She was doing a Bret Contreras glute program and her ass was getting quite developed. At one point she could bench press 145 and she never even trained the lift. Had to do a little bragging on the wifey there.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (2 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #213 on: December 02, 2019, 07:29:07 AM »
The 2 year old woke of crying in the middle of the night and while we were awake we looked at my wife’s trip itinerary and noticed her first flight was delayed and she wouldn’t be able to make her flight from Chicago to Paris. So she redid the reservation and is now on the road to the Dallas airport instead of our more local airport which is about 2 hours closer. Because she’s flying out of a different airport she had to change her return flight as well. She won’t be getting back to Dallas until 8 PM Saturday so she’ll spend the night there because it would be dangerous to drive on home so sleep deprived. So me and the boys will have 6 nights on our own. I told her my balls would be filled up when she got home. The urge to look at porn and masturbate will be high while she’s gone but looking forward to unloading 7 days worth when she gets back might keep me motivated.

Elvis on Velvet

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (2 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #214 on: December 02, 2019, 11:59:49 AM »
The 2 year old woke of crying in the middle of the night and while we were awake we looked at my wife’s trip itinerary and noticed her first flight was delayed and she wouldn’t be able to make her flight from Chicago to Paris. So she redid the reservation and is now on the road to the Dallas airport instead of our more local airport which is about 2 hours closer. Because she’s flying out of a different airport she had to change her return flight as well. She won’t be getting back to Dallas until 8 PM Saturday so she’ll spend the night there because it would be dangerous to drive on home so sleep deprived. So me and the boys will have 6 nights on our own. I told her my balls would be filled up when she got home. The urge to look at porn and masturbate will be high while she’s gone but looking forward to unloading 7 days worth when she gets back might keep me motivated.

Wishing you the best of luck and praying for your strength (and mine).  A lot of what you wrote encourages me.  I also get triggered when I'm home alone, and my wife travels for business sometimes and also just has a lot going on, so she's out of the house often doing stuff with her mom or our daughter. My wife is beautiful and totally game for pretty much anything sexually, so it disgusts me when I find that I have trouble getting aroused by her.  She got a breast augmentation a couple years ago and that made her even better looking, so I try really hard to focus on her and her alone, but my PIED has gotten in the way of our spontaneity.  I have to kind of "plan" sex now because I need to take a pill.  I'm really hoping that I can recover from this, and I hope the same for you.  I'm impressed at your dedication to getting back into shape and I truly hope you succeed.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (2 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #215 on: December 02, 2019, 01:28:40 PM »

Wishing you the best of luck and praying for your strength (and mine).  A lot of what you wrote encourages me.  I also get triggered when I'm home alone, and my wife travels for business sometimes and also just has a lot going on, so she's out of the house often doing stuff with her mom or our daughter. My wife is beautiful and totally game for pretty much anything sexually, so it disgusts me when I find that I have trouble getting aroused by her.  She got a breast augmentation a couple years ago and that made her even better looking, so I try really hard to focus on her and her alone, but my PIED has gotten in the way of our spontaneity.  I have to kind of "plan" sex now because I need to take a pill.  I'm really hoping that I can recover from this, and I hope the same for you.  I'm impressed at your dedication to getting back into shape and I truly hope you succeed.

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words. I lifted and did cardio today and have been 100% on my diet plan.

cranm329

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (2 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #216 on: December 02, 2019, 02:06:17 PM »
The 2 year old woke of crying in the middle of the night and while we were awake we looked at my wife’s trip itinerary and noticed her first flight was delayed and she wouldn’t be able to make her flight from Chicago to Paris. So she redid the reservation and is now on the road to the Dallas airport instead of our more local airport which is about 2 hours closer. Because she’s flying out of a different airport she had to change her return flight as well. She won’t be getting back to Dallas until 8 PM Saturday so she’ll spend the night there because it would be dangerous to drive on home so sleep deprived. So me and the boys will have 6 nights on our own. I told her my balls would be filled up when she got home. The urge to look at porn and masturbate will be high while she’s gone but looking forward to unloading 7 days worth when she gets back might keep me motivated.
All the best for your week 'alone'.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (2 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #217 on: December 02, 2019, 05:32:25 PM »
3 Days No PMO

Had a busy productive day. My wife is now in the air on her way to France.

I’m having some minimal PMO temptation but nothing extraordinary. I’m probably more tempted because I have the circumstances right now to go at it for hours on end.

Really no food temptation because I’ve eaten such a high volume of clean food that I’m not remotely hungry.

discobolus

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Re: Discobolus versus Pornography (3 down a lifetime to go) COMMENTARY WELCOME
« Reply #218 on: December 03, 2019, 04:15:49 PM »
4 Days No PMO tonight

I’m struggling right now with temptation. I haven’t looked at porn but I did do a little masturbation without orgasm, just playing with my nipples mostly.

The boys will be home pretty soon so i shouldn’t have opportunity the rest of the day.

My wife’s trip is turning into a nightmare. There is supposed to be a big transportation strike in France starting tomorrow which includes air traffic controllers. The whole country might shutdown and it will be impossible to get out until the strike is over. I think she is planning on flying back tomorrow if she can. So much for a fun trip.