Author Topic: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018  (Read 608 times)

tmich34

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Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« on: October 28, 2018, 08:12:56 PM »
Hai

I am currently studying engineering (in my last year), I have been struggling with addiction for 4 years. I watched porn around grade 8 and 9 but did not really like it and stopped pretty soon. Then towards end of year 12 it started again and I have been relapsing cycle. The addiction is embarrassing and It has definitely impacted me. I have depression and lack any sort of motivation. As a catholic it is particularly difficult as I want to remain pure wife. And I believe I can get through this.

As of the 29/10/2018 I was watching a video about the impacts of pornography on the brain and they actually forgot to censor a portion for like 1 second (I hope this does not reset anything).

I have started a STICKK program where you actually commit real money and if you relapse you lose that money. You can support me if you want my username is 'tmich34'. With this I started a commitment for one week, completed it I am currently on 2 week then going to 3, 4, 5 and so on.

Thanks.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2018, 10:35:40 PM »
Some of my triggers that I have identified are anger, frustration, stress, boredom and I guess when something does not go my way I just go to this. A lot of the times fantasizing also triggers this. And this is quite difficult to control. 

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2018, 03:08:14 AM »
Feeling a lot better, but still thinking about sex quite a bit. In the past this has triggered me to go watch porn but trying to keeping it under control.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 02:18:16 AM »
Today was a but harder, been thinking about sex a lot and have been tempted quite a bit as well. Is think this is with drawls? I am not exactly sure but my motivation to do anything is super low.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2018, 07:00:54 PM »
This might be worth a watch if anyone is interested.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGdMi-oC9nM&t=132s


tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2018, 12:50:40 AM »
Starting a cold shower log
1/11/2018 - Day 1

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2018, 12:20:33 AM »
2/11/2018 - Day 2 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2018, 04:43:11 PM »
3/11/2018 - Day 3 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #8 on: November 04, 2018, 12:29:02 AM »
4/11/2018 - Day 4 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #9 on: November 04, 2018, 12:30:31 AM »
I am doing cold showers because I wanted to increase my mental toughness. Since, I forcing myself to do something I don't want to do; so that I can stop doing something that I want to do.

johnleesmith65

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2018, 01:06:53 AM »
I am doing cold showers because I wanted to increase my mental toughness. Since, I forcing myself to do something I don't want to do; so that I can stop doing something that I want to do.
I liked your strategy.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2018, 06:20:42 AM »
okay day today could have been better. Hoping to have another good day tommorrow

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2018, 01:15:10 AM »
5/11/2018 - Day 5 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2018, 02:05:00 AM »
have been flat-lining but not as hard as when it was during the start, but will it get worse or does it depend on the person?

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2018, 03:15:01 PM »
6/11/2018 - Day 6 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2018, 10:22:09 PM »
On STICCK I have committed to quitting at first for one week, then went to 2 weeks. But now I have made a commitment to quit and I have set myself a 27 week deadline which will take me to May 2019. And if I relapse I will lose $200, and if I relapse for the 27 weeks I may end up losing over $5000. Amd if I quit the commitment I will also lose money. I decided this was a way of actively managing to quit by putting up risk system. And so far it is going okay.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2018, 12:23:37 AM »
7/11/2018 - Day 7 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2018, 08:34:18 PM »
8/11/2018 - Day 8 (cold shower log)

ruuddejong

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #18 on: November 08, 2018, 02:30:48 AM »
I am confused - are you also on day 8 of your reboot or is it just cold showers?

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #19 on: November 08, 2018, 02:42:53 PM »
cold showers.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #20 on: November 08, 2018, 02:45:03 PM »
Yesterday was a bit more challenging, a pop-up ad for BIGO cam up with chicks and sent my imagination running wild. It almost sent me to a relapse. It was completely unexpected but this is something that I will have to deal with in the future.

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2018, 07:38:51 PM »
Feeling a bit better today, the cravings come in and out some days are stronger while other are not. Is this normal?

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2018, 12:59:01 AM »
9/11/2018 - Day 9 (cold shower log)

tmich34

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #23 on: November 10, 2018, 07:29:32 AM »
10/11/2018 - Day 10 (cold shower log)

Do or die

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Re: Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2018, 10:27:22 AM »
day 10 good achievement. congrats
Rebooting made my life better. thanks to reboot nation. if you want to really stop this addiction then its easy to do it. I did it now your turn. best luck all.