Author Topic: Journal entry one  (Read 467 times)

neonnut

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Journal entry one
« on: October 05, 2018, 12:38:30 AM »
Hello,

This is my first journal entry of my nofap journey. I am currently on day 2. I’ve attempted to reboot in the past but I ended up relapsing. My main goals are two fix my DE and to never watch p again. I am open to any tips or suggestions that you all might have. Also a quick question , I understand that not touching my unit at all and not watching porn will help it regain sensitivity, but if I have sex with someone will it set me back? I guess I’m basically asking if I should go normal mode or hard mode.

Thank you

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2018, 10:46:14 PM »
Day 3. To be honest I haven’t had any urges whatsoever, although I expect it to get a bit tougher as time goes on.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2018, 10:53:41 PM »
On day 6. Skipped 4 and 5 because literally nothing happened, I think I’ve just been flatlining. I am wondering if it would help me if I had sex with someone. Maybe it would up my libido? I don’t ever finish during sex so I wouldn’t have to reset my PMO counter. And then obviously if I did finish, my whole problem is solved. I also know that flatlining is a part of the process so I’m not sure if having sex would speed up, slow down, or have no effect on my recovery. To anyone who reads this please let me know your opinion on if I should try to have sex or just keep waiting it out.

Thank you

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2018, 11:18:34 PM »
Mmmmmm everyone reboots differently and flatlines for differing times. Your body will let you know when its ready to come out of a flatline. However, having said that, some people, myself icluded, have reported using orgasm to `kickstart` the libido again.
This worked for me. I actually used pounding my wife as a means of recovery by wiring to a real person. Orgasming might get you out of it if thats what you want, but its not good to force anything
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2018, 06:43:22 PM »
Thank you for the response. I think I’ll just wait it out til the end of the week, and then try having sex if my libido doesn’t change.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2018, 01:16:20 AM »
Day 7 completed. Another day with no urges to do anything sexual whatsoever. I realized that I haven’t had mw or spontaneous erections in a long time. Looking forward to the point when those return .

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2018, 10:19:44 AM »
On day 8. Had a weird experience this morning that I am not exactly sure how to explain. I woke up to a feeling that felt like i was receiving head or something. Usually when I receive head it barely feels anything but the feeling I had this morning felt good, it felt like I finished too. I guess I fell asleep again and woke up some time later for class. But everything around me was dry, no signs of ejaculation anywhere. Makes me wonder if I was really awake or dreaming for the first part. I feel like even if I was dreaming , then it would still be a wet dream. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2018, 07:34:02 PM »
A non-wet wet-dream? It may have just been a very vivid dream. At the early stages of my reboot I had many very vivid sexual dreams but never jizzed. Could just be withdrawals. Like when quitting smoking you have dreams of smoking, can even smell the smoke too
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2018, 01:25:45 AM »
yeah I think it might’ve just been a dream because I can’t remember anything else about it or like what was going through my head at the time.

Day 8 completed. Had a few erections throughout the day but I was kinda daydreaming about some times with girls from the past so idk if it counts for anything. I had sex with this girl for about 30 minutes. Didn’t feel much when she was riding or when we did missionary but when we did doggystyle I felt something when I hit from a certain angle. I felt it building up and then my foot started cramping so I had to stop. I guess it’s progress though so I’ll take it. I think next time I’m just gonna try doggystyle while standing so my feet won’t cramp.

Tempted

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2018, 02:51:51 AM »
One thing to note is also that sometimes in certain positions during sex it just might not feel very good for you, you really have to try things out and gain experience. On another note though, if you were masturbating a lot and heavily you might have desensitized yourself, in that case, I guess refraining from any stimulating contact for a month or so might do the job.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2018, 01:06:19 PM »
Thank you for the response. I was always kinda confused on whether sex during a reboot would be considered rewiring, and helping me progress, or if it was just slowing the process of reversing my desensitization. I think I’m gonna try that doggystyle position one more time and make sure I don’t cramp so I can really see if it would work or not. After that, whether it works or not I’ll just stay away from any kind of stimulation for a month and then go from there.

Tempted

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2018, 01:34:21 PM »
I have had cramping during doggy style too, my suggestion is kneeling behind her as if you were to be knighted. That kind of relieves one leg of too much strain. Also, I think sex can interfere with rewiring if your addiction is really serious.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2018, 10:18:01 AM »
How do I know if my addiction is really serious? Because right now I feel confident I won’t watch P ever again. Or M either

Tempted

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2018, 10:51:42 AM »
Your case doesn't sound too worrying to my ears. I personally have a really hard time staying away from porn for even one day, and I feel pretty bad most of the time, I guess that would be a more serious case. Although I do not have PIED.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2018, 11:14:20 PM »
Yeah I haven’t thought about watching porn since I started the reboot. I’m not sure if it’s solely because of low libido but I’ll take it I guess. Day 10 completed. I was going to try the kneeling stance you suggested but I didn’t have enough time because I had to leave for some basketball stuff so me and her just made out for about 5 minutes. I probably won’t be able to try it out until Monday unless she comes back from home to campus for a bit. Still not a huge fan of having low libido. Hoping that I’ll get out of this flatline eventually

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2018, 10:41:29 AM »
On day 14. Still 0 urges to do anything. I read somewhere that if someone MO’s lightly, like very lightly , it could help cure DE and death grip. I have no urges to MO but I’d be willing to do it if it helps.  I wouldn’t use P tho. Anyone else try this or have any info on this?

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2018, 09:51:56 PM »
Hmmmm... it could work. Rewiring your willy to a different level of sensitivity through a change in masturbatory technique. As long as its not to any artificial stimulation, and within your personal reboot paramaters (eg, hard mode, etc..) then it could be worth a try
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2018, 11:48:12 PM »
what exactly do you mean by artificial stimulation?

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2018, 12:11:11 AM »
Excellent question!
Artificial stimulation includes pornographic images, sexually suggestive materials and anything outside of your own imagination which is used while masturbating in order to acheive orgasm. In short, getting off to anything that isnt `real`
It is by using artifical stimulation that your brain becomes wired to it, and over long years of abuse, you cant get off unless you use some form of artificial stimulation.
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2018, 10:22:47 AM »
Thank you for the response. Currently on day 19. Last night I had strong urges to MO while scrolling through Instagram. I’m not sure if this indicates a change in my libido or not, I’m just glad I didn’t relapse.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #20 on: October 23, 2018, 01:52:17 AM »
Finished Day 20. I tried to have sex again. A lot of it didn’t feel like anything. I had some moments where I barely felt something , and then it goes away. I try to focus on keeping it there but it doesn’t stay. I don’t want it to seem like I’m overthinking but l don’t think I’ll feel anything at all if I don’t put any thought into it. I’ve noticed that some positions feel better, but not enough to finish. It is kind of annoying that it doesn’t feel much more sensitivity or progress after 20 days  but I’ll keep trying. Anybody got any position suggestions or just any suggestions in general ?

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2018, 02:56:52 AM »
I just relapsed. I was feeling discouraged because there weren’t really any signs that I was getting any closer to fixing my DE. I would’ve even accepted just havjng mornjng wood once as progress . But I felt exactly the same for the last 3 weeks. And I was just thinking about how I haven’t ejaculated in a long time so I kinda just did it. I’m torn between continuing nofap or attempting the anti death grip plan on curedeathgrip.com.

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2018, 10:43:24 PM »
Success update ! Since my last post, I relapsed again within 24 hours. After that I haven’t done anything at all since. The girl that I usually have sex with was back home an hour away, so I decided to try with a different girl thinking maybe she would be tighter or better or something. Missionary felt pretty much the same , and then we switched to doggystyle.  Felt the same pretty much and then after awhile I just felt it come up and I finished for the first time ever.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2018, 11:31:33 PM »
Excellent news! Well, the relapse thing isnt excellent... but you were able to successfully penetrate and finish. So thats something good isnt it?
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

neonnut

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Re: Journal entry one
« Reply #24 on: October 29, 2018, 07:51:56 PM »
Yeah it definitely is. I'm still going to make sure to stay away from P though