Yeah it can be tough, escpecially in the first phase - the first week or so. But yeah as you said, no matter how shitty you feel now, its nothing compared to how youd feel if you PMO. Just always keep on your mind the massive payoff you will undoubtedly get as you make some good progress in your reboot!
I'm a week behind you however I haven't touched myself or peeked but I can definitely relate to the scatter brained-ness and mood swings. And can definitely really relate to feeling lonely. I think I'd like a partner to go through this process with but at the same time, I also think it would be beneficial for me to be good and over the worst of it before I embark on that journey. Especially with how unmotivated I am to do anything right now. With regards to the emotional string pulling, I think its just withdrawal trying to pull tricks on you. I'm noticed my brain earlier suggested I have a look and I didn't really consciously know it made that request if that makes sense. I didn't look and ignored the voice, especially as I've found it relatively easy not to look so far. I knew one look would make me feel much better but I'd rather be miserable and on noPMO, than jubilant for 5 seconds and then beating myself up for weeks until I slump back into old habits. Eyes on the prize S_G!Haha, and don't cry! You'll set me off...!!! Keep going man, you're doing great.