Author Topic: Quitting for good  (Read 203 times)

mpj86

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Quitting for good
« on: September 16, 2018, 04:01:14 PM »
Day 8

I'm intending to make this my last reboot and quit forever so I thought it would be useful to record my progress. I've previously done a 120 day reboot and another 85 day one but never recovered to the point of having spontaneous erections or morning wood. My brain in its weak moments used that fact to push me back towards PMO, on the basis that I must be a lost cause if I can't recover after 120 days, so what harm will it do?

A bit about me for context - I'm in my early 30s and started PMOing at the age of 12. I did this on a regular enough basis, around 2 or 3 times a week for an hour or so throughout my teens and early 20s. This led to me having zero involvement with girls and I first found myself in a situation where sex could happen when I was 23 but I wasn't anywhere near able to perform due to a combination of alcohol, performance anxiety and PIED. I first discovered the science behind PIED when I was 25 and since then have been in a continuous cycle of reboot and relapse but at least I've been aware of the damage that porn does since that time, rather than being ignorant.

A series of similar (generally alcohol fuelled) sexual encounters followed where nothing happened, due to the same combination that I mentioned above. I can't remember when I stopped getting morning wood, it used to happen every day in my teens but is now a notable event when it happens. I would love to get this back, what a great way to start the day!

I met my ex girlfriend when I was 28 and we had an OK sex life but erection problems were a frequent issue and sex with a condom invariably failed (either before or during). It's got to the point where I dread going to bed with someone for the first time and having to tell them, as I've faced the same situation so many times and it just gets soul destroying after a while.

I'm also bisexual and about 2 years ago had one sexual encounter with a guy, who basically had a constant 100% erection throughout which wouldn't even go down after orgasm - this was both eye-opening (I had no idea how different to 'normal' I was until then) and depressing in equal measure. I still find it hard to believe, and think he must have been on Viagra or something, it's that alien to me.

Over the years I've tried a litany of herbal medicines, none of which have made any difference, and also tried kegels from time to time (but I'm proposing to avoid these for the first 150 days of the reboot). I seem to have a constant drive for self-improvement and my current one is getting my teeth straightened, so I have clear braces on for the next year or so, this means I feel way too self-conscious to meet girls at this time so I figure that it's the perfect time for an extra long reboot process.

So I'll be documenting my progress here - in around 4 months time I'll be in unchartered territory (beyond 120 days) which will be especially interesting.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2018, 08:45:02 PM »
Hi mate, welcome to the Nation.
Thats an impressive streak you had there! No reason why you cant do that again.
Youve exhibited all of the classic symptoms of PIED; including the dreaded condom-hate.
But rest assured that all these are curable and will disappear for good once youve rebooted! You do realize that right? Ask youself this question: what in the fuck has porn given me that has been of any conceivable benefit to my life?
The answer is quite obvious I would assume.
Its destroyed your social and sexual confidence and turned you into a floppy-cocked loser who cant even manage a morning wood! Thats about as straight as I can put it.
How did you manage to get that far into your previous reboots? What techniques or strategies did you use? and what were the triggers that caused you to break those excellent streaks?
Keep documenting your progress as often as you need to on here! 
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

mpj86

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2018, 02:00:27 PM »
Thanks for the reply :) To answer your question in bold, I'm not sure I even believe right now that it is curable, or that the symptoms will go away, but I'm certainly willing to find out! I regard myself as a pretty bad case, having discovered porn simultaneously to starting puberty, and PMOing for many years after that. But maybe I just need a longer reboot.

As for how I managed the 120 and 85 day streaks, it never felt like a battle and I was never resisting any urges, at the time I believed I'd left PMO behind for good, and got such a buzz out of the fact that the streak was getting longer and longer. It was almost as if I'd replaced being addicted to PMO with being addicted to not PMOing! Unfortunately when I do get urges I seem to have zero resistance to them and the relapse becomes inevitable - when my brain has decided that it's happening, there's no stopping it, despite all of my rational consciousness knowing that it's a terrible idea.

As far as I can recall, both reboots were ended by wet dreams, my mind in its warped way telling me that there was somehow less to lose now that I'd had a wet dream (since I started my reboots I've always been a sucker for the chaser effect). I will be more vigilant this time. Another (familiar) trigger is being hungover, but before my current relapse it almost became a self-fulfilling prophecy (I'm hungover, this is a trigger and my brain will probably get me to PMO - oh look what happened). I'm aware of this now.

I've been taking a lot of wisdom from the thread in the Success Stories forum translated from Chinese - it's pretty fascinating, and it's also helpful to see mentions of super long reboots being needed to cure the effects of PIED, as this helps reinforce the fact that I may not be a lost cause.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2018, 09:13:59 PM »
Oh you can rest assured the symptoms will disappear! They did before right?
Now that you know your triggers you can work around them. If having a rat shit hangover made you want to have a fap, then be extra vigilant when you have a hangover.
If it's a self control issue then it might be a good idea to record a list of all the many ways porn has fucked with your life. Make it as long as possible, in point form. Upon reading the list you'll feel so much disgust that the urge will dissipate. Reflecting on what will happen if you go back to PMO again should be motivation enough to leave it
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

mpj86

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2018, 02:09:01 PM »
I'm not sure if the symptoms did go away before, no - I may have got occasional night/morning wood during the 120 day reboot but only very occasionally. Either I'm a lost cause or I need a much longer reboot!

I've already done the list of the reasons why I shouldn't PMO (and it's quite a convincing list) but the problem is when the urge happens, all rationality goes out of the window. I can already tell that this is going to be a really long reboot and with that in mind I know the urges will be minimal, it's just a question of whether this will be the 'forever' reboot (let's hope so).

Day 15 today and no real progress to report, possibly entering the flatline.

Sentimental_geek

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2018, 03:37:04 PM »
Either I'm a lost cause or I need a much longer reboot!

You are never a lost cause! Even if you relapse. You have done really well to have such long streaks before and you would have gained a lot from it. Urges are the things that can fuck you up but. Try and use your previous experience as best as you can when the crop up. Identify where they may be triggered and how they effect you.

Good luck!

mpj86

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2018, 04:50:33 AM »
Day 45

So a month and a half in and I have not succumbed to PMO. There was even an urge a couple of weeks ago that I managed to resist. There hasn't been any morning wood so far but there have been one or two occasions of night wood upon waking during the night, and an occasional semi while walking during the day. So some slight progress perhaps. The only thing is that I have MO'd a few times since around day 30 (not to fantasy) and am unsure if this is going to help or hinder the reboot, so I'm intending to lay off this for a while.

Overall though a good start, and half way to day 90.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2018, 08:14:56 PM »
Thats a good streak!
I dont think theres anything wrong with a good ole masturbation session as long as its not to any artificial stimulation (or outside in a public space). The thing to consider is how do you feel after you masturbate? If you dont feel good or feel that youve done something wrong, then it might not be a good idea
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

mpj86

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Re: Quitting for good
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2018, 12:46:09 PM »
Day 64 no P / day 3 no MO

I've decided to stop masturbating and return to hard mode. Basically I've read a lot of stuff about semen retention and whilst I'm a bit skeptical about it's benefits, I do like the idea of transmuting sexual energy into other pursuits. I feel this is especially relevant to the quitting of a porn habit, as it's vital to replace the porn with healthier habits. So masturbation is off limits once more.

So 2/3rds of the way to the 90 day mark, I don't see many benefits yet but my voice is noticeably deeper. I don't know whether this is linked or not, and I didn't notice it in any previous reboots. But it's a pretty thrilling benefit to have (as long as it stays around!) as it makes me feel a lot more masculine.

I'm also considering supplementing with zinc as this may also help with deepening the voice, and skin issues also (I have minor dermatitis in seemingly random parts of my body) although zinc has never shown up low on any tests. I would take ZMA but Vitamin B6 gives me insomnia.

Nothing to report in terms of morning wood/night wood/random erections - minimal activity here.