Author Topic: Rich's 90 Days  (Read 1548 times)

HumbleRich

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Rich's 90 Days
« on: September 13, 2018, 03:01:05 AM »
Hey everyone,

I have b#%₩@ed enough.  It is time to get into action.  This is my 90 day journal, where  I will be checking in until I finish this process of becoming sober.  I will document permanent sobriety in a seperate journal.

This will be 90 days of no porn, no erotica, no masturbation, and no procrastination.

In place of these will be extra meditation, daily exercise, proactivity in studying, finishing books in a timely manner, and more quality time spent with my wife.

Rich

imaquitter

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2018, 01:50:13 PM »
Thumbs up for that!
First and last real reboot, august 29, 2018 (49 days, ended with 3xPMO slip, no binging)
2nd attempt, october 19, 2018 (hardmode)

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2018, 10:11:09 PM »
Day 1 is going well so far. 

Rich

PE30

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2018, 09:50:54 AM »
Good luck, Rich. Hope it goes well, we're here for you.
Porn free since 2 February 2018.
Chat room and M/MO free since 28 July 2018.
Fighting on.

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2018, 09:55:47 AM »
Checking in at the end of the day on day 1 before heading to bed. 

I am not going to lie, I feel really daunted by this task.  Fortunately I have read many journals on here and watched videos from Youtubers and they are helping to keep me inspired.  I guess the truth is I have so far avoided taking this high road to being clean.  Maybe because I was leaving a door open to fall back into the pit.  Maybe because I really wasn't dedicated to this new lifestyle.  I don't know.

Perhaps it will help to briefly share where I am in life right now.  I feel like I am in a rut, and I know that PMOing is a big part of that.  I have not felt the benefits of quitting alcohol (I am over 100 days sober of alcohol now) and of quitting social media.  I am guessing it is because I am still PMOing off and on.  I have made barely any headway at losing weight.  Again, I feel that it is directly tied to this porn and masturbation addiction.  I procrastinate over every important task.  I am behind in my studying for my exams.  I am behind in my job search and preparing for arriving back in the States.  I have no discipline whatsoever.  I feel very little joy at work, even on a good day with the kids.  I feel that I am backward and do not live up to my 32 years of age.  Add to this me continuously letting down my wife in these things, and I often feel that I am going nowhere.  I feel like my heels are driven into the ground. 

My goals:
To have studied for all four of my teaching exams before leaving for the States
To have a list of contacts prior to leaving that I can meet up with when wife and I arrive
To be at least ten pounds lighter when I leave for the states
To be a better, more supportive husband in general

And more

I want to be more consistent with exercising throughout the week, and I will begin a diet, as well as skipping dinners (intermittent fasting) to help lose the weight.

I know this seems like a lot, but some of this is easy, like skipping dinners (requiring only that I follow through).  Others, like being more consistent in exercising tie to other goals in my list.

But now that I have written far too much, I am reminded that everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING depends on me quitting this detestable PMO habit.

So, that is what I am going to work on doing.  One day at a time. 

Today was difficult.  I had deep cravings, but I held out.  One day down. 

See you guys tomorrow,

Rich

Dj Rascasse

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2018, 11:06:20 AM »
Rich, waouw, a lot of goals you are putting on yourself. Be strong.
I really wish you all the best on quiting your addiction.
If I may give a little advice about exercising and food, and please feel free to completly ignore what I am going to say now. I would not do the intermittent fasting right away, but reduce calries intake in all meals, but keep all meals (one chocolate bar instead of two, etc...). And exercise : consistency is key, before anything else. Even if it's 10 min in the evening, if you manage to exercise every evening (or morning), the changes will come faster than you think.

As coach Roche says : "You are enough, unconditionally."

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2018, 10:36:07 AM »
Checking in on day 2

Good night.

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2018, 01:13:20 AM »
Checking in on day 3.  I have been checking out a lot of testimonies on Youtube from 90 day no fappers and I definitely want what the benefits they have gotten.  If I can get half of that stuff it will be worth it.  What I am really interested in is the increased confidence and courage.  Obviously as a married man I am not looking to attract women, butincreased confidence would definitely help my relationship  with my wife  and her attraction to me.  Also, greater courage and higher self esteem would be amazing.  For example, at the moment all of my studying, if I am homest, has been done based on tbe idea of preventing failure.  My self esteem is such that failure seems more likely than passing, so my motivation is to stop myself from failing.  The problem with this philosophy, aside from comstanly telling myself I am not smart enough and so always beating my self esteem, is that it doesn't motivate me to do any more than the bare minimum.  Studying becomes a chore and a lifeless one at that.  More self esteem and a more courageous attitude could lift me from a philosophy of preventing failure to that of pursuing excellence.  I look forward to a psychology that I can only barely imagine three days in.  A kind of positivity that seems out of reach now.

Anyway.  Three days  in.  Still clean.

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2018, 01:22:16 AM »
Which reminds me: What influence will sex with my wife have on my reboot.  I understand many recommend no orgasm during sex, but as we are trying to make a baby this isn't really an option.  I am hoping no porn and no masturbation outside of sex will be enough to create permanent change.

Rich

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2018, 02:07:38 AM »
Three days is pretty damn good for an addiction like this.
As for the sex with your wife thing, I found it helped me. It helped rewire my brain to a person I had love and affection for; as opposed to a bunch of filthy sluts in pixel form on a screen.  And it cancelled out any desire for artificial stimulation.
Anyway, best of luck with the baby making!
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2018, 03:27:19 AM »
During reboots, sex with my wife has been my only form of sexual activity. But then, the whole purpose of my reboot has been to stay truly faithful to my marriage vows. Forsaking all others.

Personally I think that you and your wife should use this time to rediscover each other sexually... There are a couple of risks: firstly, that you might be more tempted immediately after sex (the chaser effect) and secondly that you might struggle when she's on her period or (if you have a baby) during those early months. But I think the benefits outweigh the risks.

If you do decide to go with a no fap, no sex reboot then you should agree this with your wife. She has needs too! And she deserves you at your best.
Porn free since 2 February 2018.
Chat room and M/MO free since 28 July 2018.
Fighting on.

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2018, 08:41:53 AM »
Checking in on dau 4.

Good night,

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2018, 12:27:41 AM »
Checking in on day 6. 

Clean.

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2018, 02:35:26 AM »
Hi,

Unfortunately I just slipped.  PMO.  I see that the 6 day mark will be one of the big obstacles.  There will be many of those.  Oh well.  Gonna get back in the saddle and ride on to December.  I can't wait to finally beat this stupid addiction.

Rich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2018, 09:21:18 AM »
One slip. No binge. GET UP! :)
First and last real reboot, august 29, 2018 (49 days, ended with 3xPMO slip, no binging)
2nd attempt, october 19, 2018 (hardmode)

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #15 on: September 19, 2018, 09:44:47 PM »
Just a slip up. Same as usual, take a note of the trigger so you will be aware next time. If you feel that 6 days is your limit, then at theh 6 day mark be extra careful for triggers
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #16 on: September 20, 2018, 05:33:05 AM »
Day 1 is just about complete.  I am looking forward to some  changes.  I actually am.really excited about a new app I just downloaded.  It is called Habit Hub.  (I know this sounds like a commercial, but I really didn't intend for that).  It tracks your success in acquiring a new habit and also sets remimders.  There are a lot of hobbies I want to get back to and do more consistently, like reading and meditating.  This should help motivate me.  I will let people know.

Thks time around I am going to focus a lot more on the things I am doing (hobbies, activities) and less on what I am not (looking at erotica and masturbating). 

Will check in before going to bed tonight. 

Thanks.

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2018, 12:07:03 AM »
I just slipped again, turning what was just a slip yesterday into a relapse.  How did this happen?  Well there are a couple of things that happened all at once that did it.  I have become more and more complacent.  I don't actively engage with my day.  It just sort of happens.  Not OKAY.  I need to have everything planned and regiment my hobbies (like reading, hiking) into my week or day.   No being passive!  Speaking of which.  I chose not to work out several days this week.  That definitely comtributed, as, from experience I can say that discipline has to be applied throughout the day.  Every time you choose not to make the disciplined decision you push yourself closer to dropping the ball in other areas.  I find that I cannot drop the ball in one area ( for instance exercising) and perform well in another (noFap).  Besides that, my mental health has just gone downhill over the past few months.  I blame PMO and not meditating enough.  I habe lost a sense of inner peace.  It has started to hurt my wife and our marriage as I have been lashing out at her.  Finally, I realized that it would be valuble to add NoFap to my habits on Habit Hub, which only made being clean today seem that much less important.  I basically convinced myself I could go.ahead and fap.

I don't feel good about this.  In fact it sucks. 

Wjat I am.going to do now.  I am going to go ahead and add NoFap as one of my habits on Habbit Hub so that I can use it to count days and keep track of streaks.  I am.going to meditate more (at least twice a day ).  I am going to do all of those other hobbies I discussed  above and make them priorities. 

Anyway.  I am done rambling.  Hope everyone else is doing well.

Rich

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2018, 12:25:50 AM »
Classic chaser effect.
The very next day after youve slipped into a PMO session is the danger zone. Maybe even a few days after.
If you do slip up, physically remove yourself from any and all temptations to do it again in the few days after.
Dont dwell on it too much, just understand the external factors which led you to relapse. If you can change any of them, work on doing that,  if they are things you cant change then at least you can change the way you think about them.
Anyway, be very careful in the next week or so. Your toes are hanging over the edge of a cliff now, step back veeeeery slowly. Take it slowly or youll fall!
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2018, 02:09:40 AM »
I am.writing from a nice picnic table after having done .chores, and have a few minutes tonspare.  First day clean has started okay.  Too much passively watching Youtube on the bus for  my liking.  But I'm not drinking and not PMOing.  I just added NoFap to my Habit Hub app, for me to.check in every night at ten.  The app will help me to track my days and keep me accountable.

Thanms guys,

Rich

TurningTheCorner

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #20 on: September 23, 2018, 07:16:05 AM »
Keep at it Rich, I'm rooting for you.

You've inspired me to get out of bed and make a list of chores that will keep me busy for a few hours.

I think being active to start my day will get me going on the right foot.

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #21 on: September 23, 2018, 10:48:22 AM »
Thanks Turning,

Checking in on day  2.

Keep up the good work everyone,

Rich
« Last Edit: September 23, 2018, 10:11:04 PM by HumbleRich »

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2018, 09:34:27 AM »
Checking in on day 3.

Thanks everybody,

Rich

HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2018, 01:04:32 AM »
Checking in on day 4. 

Doing chores, busy.  We are on vacation (or in our case, staycation) for a week.  So we are relaxing and getting stuff done.

Will check in before  bed tonight.

R8ch


HumbleRich

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Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2018, 11:10:29 PM »
Checking in on dau 5

In the middle of a hike.  I really need to watch out for how much I check this forum.  I think i might be getting addicted to it.  :0

Rich